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  #21  
October 12th, 2012, 06:18 PM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 12,174
Oh me oh my. I wish I could bring you some cheese.

I'm so sorry your family is acting like this. Yeesh!
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05.24.2011



Our TTC Journey | View my pregnancy journals here or here
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  #22  
October 13th, 2012, 04:52 AM
Host of March '10 PR
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 4,744
I'm sure we've gone over this before, but is your sister having trouble getting/staying pregnant? Not like that's an excuse to treat your like this, but it sounds like she is bitter.
I hope at least the food and cake was yummy
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  #23  
October 13th, 2012, 11:59 AM
mamaginger's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,305
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadieBug View Post
I'm sure we've gone over this before, but is your sister having trouble getting/staying pregnant? Not like that's an excuse to treat your like this, but it sounds like she is bitter.
I hope at least the food and cake was yummy
Oh all the food was great and my mom and brother were fun to be with. Overall it was a great time.

No...my sister has 2 kids....a girl and a boy. She had a m/c between the two just like I did. IDK that she's planning on having any more children.

I definitely sense bitterness and part of me "knows" what it is but she won't own up to it and deal with it. Our family has just always been distant. She's always (since we were kids) wanted to be separate from me. She despised that we had to share a room when my brother was born and never wanted me borrowing her clothes or talking to her friends. (We were only 14 months apart. ) She would make my mom read to us SEPARATELY at bed time. She didn't want to share anything with me. It's like she has despised my existence my whole life or something. She was always mean to me and my brother growing up. We were never close...fought all the time. She found one neighborhood friend who wouldn't let me step foot in her house so that became her BFF and still is to this day. It's HER private friend. Many other friends in the neighborhood we shared but she hated every minute of it. We almost completely didn't communicate once she went off to college. She continually criticized me for not going OFF to college (I went to the local college) for getting married young (20) and being, as she called it, "domesticated." She sees herself as this educated, independent working woman who is always in great shape, exercising and eating right. I'm just some "homely" "domesticated" naive community college girl who got married young and apparently is a fat hog. LOL (I know I'm not, but to her I am)

During the 2 years I kept her daughter, I saw a different side of her. She HATED leaving Carter to work all day. She would cry and cry and stress out. She even talked about wishing she could stay home. I've always worked to some extent but after I had Denton, I quit my teaching job and only worked p/t for my dad and took Denton with me. So in a sense, I've been a stay at home mom even though I do work a little. My husband and I are very close and do everything together. His family is my family and my family is his family. We both feel that way. IF my family does something...he's there and vice versa. Her husband doesn't come to ANYTHING. I see him on his own children's birthdays and Christmas. That's about it. Sometimes he doesn't even come to family funerals. Naturally, people always ask "Where's John?" Nobody is being ugly or implying anything. Wouldn't it be strange NOT to ask where your spouse was when you are by yourself? So she hates this. She's quit coming to any big family get togethers because she hates for people to ask her where John is. So when our extended family goes to the mountains together, she won't come. But next week she's taking my mom up there BY HERSELF...once again....her own private thing. I'm not invited and neither is anyone else.

I also sort of confronted her a couple years ago about her "fakeness" and exaggerating. She is a sports trainer in a sports medicine facility. She does physical therapy on people with sports injuries or other injuries. She's not a physical therapist though. She has a bachelors degree just like me. When people ask her what she does she always says "I'm in the Medical Field." Or in conversations if ANYTHING of a medical or health topic comes up she's ALL OVER IT. "Well, I'm in the medical field so blah, blah blah..." like she's a doctor or something. She always acts like she knows EVERYTHING. She gives advice she's not qualified to give. When my mom got sick a couple years ago we disagreed greatly on what needed to be done. She went all "medical field" on everybody and it really ticked me off. I let her have it. I told her I was sick of her acting like she has an MD just because she's a "sports trainer" who does physical therapy. She also does this FAKE VOICE when she talks to people. Like...she tries to sound all proper and actually changes her normal speech. We are from the south. We have accents. Well she will erase this accent and pronounce words differently. I brought this up to her too. I told her that I wasn't trying to criticize her or belittle what she does at her job because what she does is great....but don't act like it's more than it is. I was a teacher with a bachelors degree. I didn't walk around acting like a was on the school board. I was a teacher. Period. What you are is enough. Anyway....I know she's still mad at me for that.

Also my church and beliefs have separated me from my family. I grew up Catholic. My dad is staunch Catholic. My mom is whatever. My brother is out of church now. My sister can't decide whether she wants to be Catholic or Baptist so they don't really do either consistently. Just a couple weeks ago when I invited her to my baby shower at church she made the comment that "Well, since your church IS your family, I assumed that's what you would want to do." What the crap is that supposed to mean?? I tried to tell her we needed to get together for lunch or something and talk because I sensed some bitterness or something. She totally blew me off and acted like we aren't close because she's just very busy and she never even sees her BFF. She said that she is in "an awesome place in her life right now" and that she's "just trying to be the best mom and wife she can be." So no lunch apparently. *sigh*

Idk....honestly it would be easier to just have a non relationship but its not fair to our kids. I hate to say it but I just don't LIKE her. And I don't think she likes me either.
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For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together...Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16

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