We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
and register
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
I know I've been EXTREMELY lucky up until now and I guess spoiled which is why today was so hard for me. Wade started back at school today after being off since before Hayden was born, so he was home with me all day every day. I didn't even really sense the change in my life from having a baby because not only did I have a TON of help from Wade, but Hayden was the perfect baby. He never cried, didn't need to be held all the time, enjoys playing by himself and was sleeping pretty well through the night.
Well .. then there's today... he's become so sensitive the last couple of days. Every time I set him down, he cries, if I'm holding him and turn him a way he doesn't like, he cries, when he's finished his bottle he cries (even after I gave him more!) Don't get me wrong, he's still been smiling and talking in between, but he seems to be crying for no reasons. Its not really long bouts of crying, unless I set him down, but its still baffling to me. He's been fed, changed (clothes and diaper), he wasn't cold or warm .. unless he's hurting somewhere that I can't figure out.
I'm starving, I need a shower, the house is a mess, I planned to cook (that didn't happen) and I don't feel good (I'm just getting over a kidney infection) Wade was supposed to be home at 7, but he just called and said he changed his schedule and won't be home until 10!!! I just broke down crying. Thankfully, my mom is home now and she's got Hayden while I eat and take a shower.
How do you guys do it? I know it wouldn't be so hard if Hayden was being his regular happy self. I just feel like I have so much to do and no time to do it!
You can all laugh at me if you want cuz I know a lot of you have been doing this for 3 months or more now, but this is a first for me and its hard!
Oh, Jamie, I feel ya girl! It's tough. I'm glad your mom can help you get a break. I do actually enjoy the days that I work. It doesn't feel like work anymore, it feels like a break. Just remember he won't need you like that forever.
__________________ "I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and find out there is." Casey(29) DH, Arron(31)DD, Grace(3) DD, Norra(2) DD, Jenna(8Mo.)
i stay home all day with bella, and trust me, it can be hard, but you've just gotta think.... what is more important? me being clean right now or my baby being happy? to me, bella always wins!
Yeah there are some days that are harder then others... I try to shower, cook, clean , and eat when he takes a nap even if it is a cat nap... or if he is in his swing or his bouncer and happy then I can do things too...
((Hugs)) Jamie. Some days are rougher than others. Here I sit replying to your email not having had a shower in two days, my dinner half-eaten and cold on the table, but my little girl having a blast on her playmat. It's great that your mom is there to give you a break. Take advantage of it. And, as always, as you get used to things and develop a routine, things get easier.
I haven't had a shower in a few days-lol. Fortunately Corey loves his swing. I do laundry while he's napping. Putting it away whenever I can. And my 12 year old is taking a Home Ec class. He cooked tonight, which was nice.
I'm going back to work next week. I know it's going to be rough adjusting.
Your not alone at all. I take it one day at a time. There is always a new hurdle that you have to go over so dont worry. Some weeks i dont get to take a shower for 2 or 3 days maybe sometimes 4 days, and trying to eat with him around HAHA he knows when Im about to eat. Just give it some time
Oh yeah, it's hard, and some days, it's almost unbearable, but eventually, you will get in a routine and things will be a little smoother... most of the time! My way of dealing is to remember that I am staying home to raise my child, so if the dishes have to be put off for a day or two, so be it... If I'm not going anywhere, I'll take a quick shower and won't even wash my hair... oh yeah... I'm a rebel! The only thing I can say is hang in there!
__________________ Sarah (Yes, I know I need a new signature!)
Bits and pieces. I do bits of laundry, pick up peices of toys. I try to get up before dh leaves so that I can shower and brush my teeth. I eat toast while the two oldest are getting ready for school. I fold things as I go. It's just do what you can when baby (babies) are happy.
Maybe he's upset at the new change in his life. Suddenly Daddy's not there. Today I worked and Davey screamed the whole yime I was gone. When I came home he was a little angel, before I left he was a little angel. It's flattering but I felt bad for DH. I called him at one point and coujld hear davey screaming in the background.
Maybe he's upset at the new change in his life. Suddenly Daddy's not there. Today I worked and Davey screamed the whole yime I was gone. When I came home he was a little angel, before I left he was a little angel. It's flattering but I felt bad for DH. I called him at one point and coujld hear davey screaming in the background.
((HUGS))[/b]
But I bet there was a little bit of you that was like, "Oh yeah, I'm the momma!"
__________________ Sarah (Yes, I know I need a new signature!)
You know what? Sometimes you just have days where you sit in the rocking chair all day, and that's that! Screw the dishes and the shower, I've got a crying baby! lol
You'll get into your own little routine. What I find works - if I really need a shower, I'll give Julia a bath in the middle of the day, then feed her, and she usually conks out for a good two hours after that
For one thing, he's probably upset because his Daddy is suddenly missing. Expect him to need more of you to make up for the loss of Daddy.
Otherwise, you learn to do things in bits and pieces. And you learn that most things don't really need to be done that often.
If you're not working at something filthy or living in a climate where you sweat heavily you don't actually NEED a shower or bath daily. Going 2 or 3 days between full showers or baths is not uncivilized if you aren't actually doing something to get dirty. Just take a moment to wash your face, your armpits, and your privates at some point.
If you can get a moment to hang up laundry that matters if its wrinkled (and the less laundry of this type you have the better), it doesn't matter if the rest has to sit in the basket for a while.
As for cooking, the crock pot and the oven are your best friends. Learn simple dishes that can be put in at a convenient moment for long, slow cooking where exact timing doesn't much matter.
Learn to eat one-handed while holding the baby and, if applicable, while nursing. This may mean eating your broccoli with your fingers but you are in the privacy of your own home and this semi-barbarian stage will pass as soon as the baby can sit safely in a high chair near the table.
If the baby is fussy and you need the bathroom it will do no harm to put him/her down on a clean towel on the bathroom floor for a moment while you do what you need to do.
Don't panic. Not only will you get used to this, but the baby will be more independent sooner than you think.
Maybe this is considered bad, but when I was on maternity leave, I still took a shower when DH was gone. I just put Skya in her bouncy seat, positioned right by the bathroom door. That way I could periodically peak out at her and also hear her if she started crying. I never had to get out early even once! Maybe I am lucky.
I have Felicity is her bucket carseat in the bathroom with me when I shower. She rarely cries, because I started doing this from birth. I did the same with Lily. As soon as Felicity is sfe to sit in the shower while I shower, she will come in with me (to keep her safe from her sisters!!!)
I do usually get a shower every day that way. But sometimes Im too busy and do a quick run through like MB was talking about.
Easy meals and the crockpot are my best friends especially in the post partum time. its the washing of dishes after supper that I find challenging because the house is busy and Flis is awake, and she wants to be held rather than watching me wash dishes. Often they sit till morning, and I will do them as Flis is in her swing going down for her morning nap. Its our little routine.
Housework is a challenge. I stay home and I homeschool. My answer is less clutter means that I can clean when I need to, rather than being busy doing clutter patrol. So I have spent most of my post partum weeks bagging things up for trash or donation. Things look a lot better. Find a housekeeper to come every other week... or set a timer for 15 minutes 3 times a day and try to do something each of those times.
With this third child, I can tell you she is doing a lot more crying while I get things done than my other two have. There are butts to wipe, meals to cook, counters to scrub, I have to change clothes and get dressed, any number of things prevent me from picking her up when she wants to. I was not this busy with just Grace or with Grace and Lily. I do have her in a sling or a mei tai when I do some things, but cutting up veggies for salad with a chef's knife is not a time to wear the baby, for instance! If Rob is home, he can hold her while I do meal prep, but if he's not, she is in the swing right next to me and she just has to deal with it. I am an attachment parent, and it does kill me when she cries, but I cannot be limited in my ability to care for my family when I have to do things that require me to put her down. It took me 3 kids to get to this point, remember. And she is a great sleeper, so I get a lot done when she sleeps. Homeschooling, for instance. My other two never slept this well during the day!
__________________
Thank you BAM for my signature!!
Your not alone at all. I take it one day at a time. There is always a new hurdle that you have to go over so dont worry. Some weeks i dont get to take a shower for 2 or 3 days maybe sometimes 4 days, and trying to eat with him around HAHA he knows when Im about to eat. Just give it some time[/b]
The days that I am alone it is very hard. Michelle gets very cranky and there are times when I think my head will explode or I will faint from exostion. It is very challenging, especially when I get very little sleep on most days since I am exclusively breastfeeding and DD wants to eat every 3 hrs. I do get frustrated with things when there is noone around to help and sometime just have to take a deep breath and bite my lip and just keep on going. I am hoping soon things will get easier mean while I am trying my best and that is all I can do.
You are not alone. Just hang in there. It HAS to get better, they are not babies forever.
im at home with Ariana all day its hard i dont really get a break at all i just keep telling myself this wont last forever lol dont get me wrong i enjoy seeing her and if i leave her with dh to run to the store real quick i miss her but its nice to be able to do something besides watch her all day she does sleep for an hour or two during the day so i eat and get on here real quick
it's tough...some days are worse than others---this morning was really bad for me DH had been out ALL DAY yesterday- leaving me to care for Holly from 7 am to midnight, then again today from 7 am til 7 pm...ugh, I stay home everyday with Holly that DH is at work....usually Holly naps, and that is when I get my break, and when DH comes home, I get some time to myself....weekends I clean the house while DH watches her....I just signed up for a Mommy and me class at Gymboree for infants from newborn to 6 months...it starts next Tuesday and I am excited about getting us out of the house and hopefully meeting other mommies and babies
__________________
I've been hit 1 time in the JM Snowball Fight of 2006!
JustMommies Message Boards
» 2004 - 2007 Play Rooms
» 2005 Playroom
»
Those of you who stay at home all day ...
What I find works - if I really need a shower, I'll give Julia a bath in the middle of the day, then feed her, and she usually conks out for a good two hours after that 
</a>
DH had been out ALL DAY yesterday- leaving me to care for Holly from 7 am to midnight, then again today from 7 am til 7 pm...ugh, I stay home everyday with Holly that DH is at work....usually Holly naps, and that is when I get my break, and when DH comes home, I get some time to myself....weekends I clean the house while DH watches her....I just signed up for a Mommy and me class at Gymboree for infants from newborn to 6 months...it starts next Tuesday and I am excited about getting us out of the house and hopefully meeting other mommies and babies 
Linear Mode
