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to my sweet little Jeremy. I won't be here tomorrow because we are going to a family reunion in KS for the day. Tomorrow would have been his 4th birthday. I fell apart a bit this morning and probably will tomorrow, but I've made it through this month without having to take xanax, so that's a very good thing. Yes, I plan to take one in the morning and sleep on the way to Kansas. My parents are going too and it will be very good for me. I can't believe it's been 4 years. It feels like it was yesterday. A friend from work gave me her birthday balloon to release tomorrow. She also gave me one of her pink roses since they are my favorites for me to celebrate Jeremy. Dh got to pick out his balloons this year. He's never been with me when I bought them. He picked out 5 different colors that say "Happy Birthday." One for each of us to release and then the big one. I'll take pictures before. I'm sure my dad will cry. Jeremy was very special to him. He and I cried during the ultrasound when we found out he was a boy and he was there when he was born and when he died. Prayers are definitely accepted.
Happy Birthday my precious Mommy misses you desperately and loves you even more.
Thanks everyone. I cried yesterday morning when we got in the van to head to KS. We had just let his balloons go with Samantha and my parents. We had fun at the reunion and I really needed that. I did miss him though. I started to feel sad as we got back into town. I started to miss him again. Tonight I get to start baking Samantha's cake so that's good. She was a brat but also very lovey and I couldn't help but loving on her. It helps so much.