Confessions...

flygirls2 · #1 October 25th, 2006, 11:03 PM

In the debate boards, someone brought up this thread that was done on another support forum. It seemed to be a hit there, and seemed to really be helping the ladies to open up and release some of the tension they had built up inside, so I thought we could try it here--

Log in as Anonymous12
Password: please pm for password

And confess whatever is on your mind or bothering you! It feels good to let it out sometimes. Anyways, so I'm going to leave it at that and go to bed because if I post first everyone will know it was me

.

No negativity please anybody, this is only for support!!

LisaLisaBoBisa · #2 October 25th, 2006, 11:30 PM

i was going to confess but you didn't validate the user name

flygirls2 · #3 October 25th, 2006, 11:34 PM

Oh oops lemme go and do that, LOL

Ok, it is now activated. Sorry I'm sleepy

LisaLisaBoBisa · #4 October 26th, 2006, 12:03 AM

wow i was reading some of the confessions on that other board and holy crap!! You know they did this in the sept 05 playroom a while back i really wanted to do it here but didn't think about doing it anonymously (sp?) and didnt want people to know it was me lol

Kelly · #5 October 26th, 2006, 04:55 AM

Just be careful. We are not supposed to post about illegal activities and such on JM. One of our other posts a while back got locked because of it, I just can't remember which one. But Patty PM'd me to tell me why it had gotten locked.

anonymous12 · #6 October 26th, 2006, 09:20 AM

I will go first. My husband has DTD with a man. He said that this guy at the gym propositioned him, and he felt that he was coerced into it, and did not know what else to do. But he also said that he was curious. He says that he hated it, and ended it practically before it began. He assures me he is not gay, and was just curious.

So I worry that maybe he really is gay, and just doesn't realize it yet. Do you think it is possible to be curious and actually act on it like that, but not be gay? He has no problems with DTD with me, so I think if anything he would be bi. He loves us very much, and in my heart I don't think he is gay. But I still have that fear lingering in the back of my head.

I want to add that I cheated on my dh while we were engaged. We broke up for a while, and he acted out sexually because of the hurt that he felt. He slept with a few women too. So maybe this was just a way of venting his confusion and pain?

anonymous12 · #7 October 26th, 2006, 09:56 AM

wow, thats certainly an interesting confession
Yes I do think it is possible to be curious and act on it but not be gay. I myself was very curious about what it'd be like to have sex with another girl. And...one time my friend and I were drunk and one thing led to another. It wasnt anything like I thought it'd be and it totally cured my curiosity.
Personally I think it is totally normal to be curious about stuff like that and it doesnt mean that he is gay..or bi.
At least he was honest with you!! That's huge!

little_pockit · #8 October 26th, 2006, 10:00 AM

i, personally, do not see why you should be worried. at least, not that he will leave. my concern would be more with disease and such. almost everyone knows someone who "experimented" in college. i think i read a stastic once that said at least half of all women have had a same sex encounter and 1/3 of men have had an encounter. i would only worry if it started to reoccur.

anonymous12 · #9 October 26th, 2006, 10:31 AM

This is the original anonymous poster again. I am really surprised that 1/3 of men have experimented! I did it, just kissing-but I am a girl. Most men seem to be so homophobic that the experimentation thing doesn't seem to be in their nature.

Well, the plot thickens.. There was also another encounter during the period in which we were broken up. He and a co-worker(male) were at a party, got trashed and woke up in bed together. They didn't DTD, but close enough. He says he does not remember the events leading up to this, and he and the other guy did not talk for a long time. I have met the guy since, and it was incredibly awkward. I don't know if he knew I knew, or not. But I believe my dh wasn't aware this time around.

He also had a threesome with 2 random girls he met while out camping, and also DTD with a couple of other girls while we were broken up. He became a completely different person during that time period. He stole some poor girls V-card and never talked to her again(Horrible, I know).

I know I REALLY hurt him when I cheated on him(multiple times), and I think he was acting out. We had both lost our virginities to each other when we were young.

And as for me- Yes I cheated on him multiple times. But I truly do love him, I was just going through a period of extreme confusion(no excuse, I know). We are over all of that now. He completely trusts me again. And I honestly would never in a million years cheat on him again. It hurt me so much more than it could possibly have hurt him.

ETA: Am I the only one who is going to confess?

anonymous12 · #10 October 26th, 2006, 10:37 AM

I meant to add that dh definately does not have any STD's or Aids or anything of that nature. It has been several years since all of that happened, and he and I have been tested numerous times. We were very lucky I know.

flygirls2 · #11 October 26th, 2006, 10:38 AM

I think that men can experiment without being gay or even bi for that matter. Girls do it frequently and publicly, because it is accepted in our culture and even admired by many men. But for men, it is less acceptable, so you don't hear about it as much. But they still have the same curiousities that women do.

Laney21 · #12 October 26th, 2006, 10:56 AM

Was the first time while you were married or before you two were together? How long ago did all of this happen?

If this was a long time ago and there has been no cheating or trust issues since you two got married, I would just chalk it up to curiosity and being young. I wouldn't worry about it now.

I'm desperately trying to think of a dark and dirty confession to make but after that one I seem pretty boring, lol.

anonymous12 · #13 October 26th, 2006, 11:02 AM

ok I'll go

I was molested once when I was 6. There was this guy that my 8 year old brother hung out with. He was a neighbor and 17. One day me and my brother and him were up in the woods behind my house, my brother forgot something at home and ran home to get it. The guy came and sat behind me and put his hands down my pants. I asked him what he was doing and he told me just making sure everything was ok down there. I told him to stop that my daddy told me to never let anyone touch me down there and he told me he'd give me this tape if I let him so I told him yes. I never told anyone I was so ashamed of myself thinking i let a guy touch me for a stupid tape. He never did give me the tape and never came around again when i asked him for the tape in front of my mom. My dad always told me to tell him if someone touches me down there but i didn't because it was my fault

when i was 15 i met this guy from the internet. We talked a lot before we met and I really liked him. I met him and he was so fugly ( i know im shallow) but i couldnt break up with him cause i would sound shallow. I met his 21 year old brother while i was over at his house. We flirted and he ended up calling me. I broke up with the other guy told him i couldn't handle only seeing him a couple times a month. I then dated his brother for a few months. The younger brother messaged me on myspace about a month ago he has no idea that i dated his older brother and that i wouldnt give him head but did his older brother. I hate myself for doing that i was so immature.

dh gave me chlamydia. I found out when I was 3 months pregnant. I knew it wasn't me who got it first because i had only been with one other guy before him and had been tested before i met dh. I almost left dh. He told me he had a one night stand 2 months before we met and never got tested. I still don't know if he was lying or not or if he cheated on me but at 3 months pregnant i didnt know what to do and stayed with him. If I had money and didn't depend on him I don't know if I would have stayed.

dh has a porn addiction. I caught him while I was pregnant he said it was cause i never wanted to dtd. It hurt my feelings a lot! Made me feel ugly and fat that he needed to look at other girls to get off. He promised he'd never do it again. He did it and i caught him 5 more times before i had the baby. I left one time. He swears he hasn't done it since. I wouldn't mind so much if he didn't hide it from me like he was ashamed of doing it.

i hope dhs grandmas die soon. I feel horrible for even thinking it I know but they both are millionares and it would be so nice to have some money and not be broke. I always wonder how much they are leaving us too. Ughh i suck.

about 2 months ago dh was talking to an ex g/f behind my back. Nothing happened she was on his myspace and i wanted to find out who she was so i checked his email they talked back and forth just seeing what they've been up to. The last email was the girl telling dh that she thinks about him every day and is in love with him (this was a gf he had in 5th grade) dh emailed her and told her he was married with a baby and that she needs to get over him. She wrote back a very nasty email to me! She went off on me telling me that she knew my dh better than i did and that she knows he didnt write the email. She went psycho and kept calling and emailing even hunted down dhs mom to tell her i was hiding dhs phone and emails from him ( i wasn't) dh finally had to go in and get his number changed.

we're going to be living with my parents for the next year. Dh doesn't make enough to support us yet i'm still going and spending money like we have it.

ok thats it for now i might post more later

flygirls2 · #14 October 26th, 2006, 11:19 AM

Oh wow, I'm sorry about what you've had to go through!

First of all, the molestation was in no way your fault. You were SIX years old. You didn't know any better. Any 17 y/o boy who does that to a small child is sick, it is completely his fault. Please don't feel any guilt over it, because you really have absolutely NO blame for it.

I know how you feel about the porn thing. Dh has looked as stuff a few times, but when I was there and knew about it. He doesn't have much interest in it luckily. But it's a whole different scenario when they do it behind your back! I was just looking through cd's on the computer table a couple weeks ago and lo and behold-- a porno! I was livid. My blood was boiling because of the fact that I had found something like that---and that it apparently was something I wasn't supposed to know about. Anyways, it was the neighbors and he had wanted dh to watch it. Friggin men.

And don't feel bad about the wishing your dh's grandma would die. I think we all have had thoughts like that before, we're only human. I have thought that about dh's parents because they have a lot of money saved up that would help us out a lot. I don't wish for it, but still I feel bad.

Don't worry about the money thing either--everyone is there at some point in their life. When I was preggo with Elizabeth, we could not afford anything. Like, we literally didn't have enough money for food. We were only getting by because of support from our parents. Thank God we pulled out of that. You will too..

ETA: Did your dh know he had chlymadia and didn't tell you? If he didn't know he had it, and it truly was from before the marriage--I think you should work it out. But I'm really sorry you had to get that!

TeresaSuperMama · #15 October 26th, 2006, 11:21 AM

The post was edited for safetey reasons. This is a public board and anyone can get access to this post. We have already had problems with a few obscene posters lately. This is opening up an invitation to anyone who would like to get access to the boards. Also, we have certain features limited to members, like searching posts etc. With a login like this anyone could have access to it. If you would like to have something like this, you can do it, but please keep the password not listed publicly. You can have people pm for the password. We can give that a try. As long as that does not become a problem, it should be fine. I hope you understand. I am going to reset the password and send it to Hoorahfly.

Teresa

flygirls2 · #16 October 26th, 2006, 12:13 PM

I pm'd a ton of you the password, but I gave up---there are way too many of us. So if anyone else wants it, pm me

becki567 · #17 October 26th, 2006, 12:33 PM

Okay I'm not great with abbreviations.... what is dtd????

Madeline410 · #18 October 26th, 2006, 12:41 PM

^ do the deed, have sex

This thread is an awesome idea and I swear I will respond when I don't have a paper to write

becki567 · #19 October 26th, 2006, 12:44 PM

NEVERMIND!!!! I figured it out

anonymous12 · #20 October 26th, 2006, 12:49 PM

DH turned out to be a different person than I thought he was when I married him. I learned he drank a lot, smoked weed all the time, had a pornography addiction and masturbated way more than people would consider normal. One day I walked in on him pleasuring himself at 1 in the morning. I lost it and started telling him he better shape up with all of his problems or I was going to leave him. I told him he disgusted me and he was nothing but a sperm donor to me. I can be very hurtful with words when I am mad. He then lost all control of himself and we ended up in a physical fight. He threw me to the ground and I was pregnant at the time. I called the cops naively thinking that he would just go to jail overnight and learn a lesson. It was a nightmare that lasted for 2 1/2 months. The courts gave us no contact for 2 1/2 months. On top of that he ended up having an emotional affair with his lawyer. They spent every free moment together: on the phone, at the gym, going out dancing, to dinner, he even had her picture on his cell phone!

I gave him an ultimatum to choose the inappropriate friendship or his marriage to me and he said he would choose his great friendship with her over a lousy marriage to me. Needless to say we ended up working out our problems and are still together. But he always reminds me that he can't forgive me for ruining his life the day I called the cops on him. And I am still bitter that I was left sitting at home along, pregnant, while he was out having a great time with another woman.