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Ok so we throw my now sister in law a bridal shower. She never once thanked us, or sent out any thank yous. She did not really seem to be thankful we did it.
So now since they got married she has become even more distant, she never comes over when my brother does, in the most part wants nothing to do with us.
So my brother asked us the other day when we were going to have her baby shower, and my mom said we were not sure if we could. Due to us both being low on money. He said she was thinking we were going to and he would be very upset if we didn't. So now we feel like we have to, but I don't really see a point since she really does not want anything to do with us.
She also told my mom today that she registered at target and babiesrus, so we are guessing that was another hint.
would you throw her a shower, it probably just my pregnancy hormones overreacting. lol
__________________
~~Wife to Tom, Mommy to Matthew and Makayla~~
This is a tough one. I would be extremely upset if someone didn't appreciate that I threw them a shower in the past, and therefore I would be hesitant to throw them a shower in the future.
On the other hand, this is something your brother will be upset about if you don't do... So I would probably do it just for his sake. Also, if you keep reaching out to your SIL, maybe eventually she'll warm up to you. (One can hope!) Maybe you could do a casual co-ed shower, so your brother is involved, and therefore it's like you're throwing it for him (not to mention your future niece/nephew!), not just the ungrateful SIL.
I would probably throw a small shower...since you guys are tight on money. If she can't understand that then to her. The only reason I say to do it, is for your brother. Make it a co-ed shower. This is his baby too and I'm sure he would appreciate the help and gesture.
I'd probably do something small and simple, that way if she doesn't appreciate it you didn't waste a lot of time and energy doing it but you still made some effort.
I don't have time to read the other replys so I apologize if I am saying the same thing.
I would be upset too if she never said thankyou and didn't really appreciate the first shower. But I would probably end up doing the baby one only because you brother asked about it. Do it for him, and the baby, not her. I certainly would do bare minimums. Throwing parties like that does get expensive and if you dont' have the money to do it, you certainly shouldn't go above and beyond for someone who doesn't appreciate it.
i loathe these situations. at first my brain read baby shower instead of bridal shower and i couldn't understand why no one was addressing the fact that this was her second baby!!! but anyway, does she have other relatives, a mom, other friends??? are you and your mother the only 2 women in her life? i don't understand why you two are obligated to throw a baby shower - you took care of the bridal shower! it's someone else's turn!
you may have caught me in a mood, b/c i'm generally a people-pleaser, but i'm so irritated for you! no way would i throw her a baby shower. if you "keep the peace" now, you'll be doing it forever. just my 2 cents! GL!
This is a toughie. Like the others, I would probably do a small one. However, for one of her gifts, I would buy her thank you notes, and have each attendee address them, and then you can put the stamps on them so that she gets the hint and MUST do them-and she takes them home that day!! *laughing with my evil laugh*
This is a toughie. Like the others, I would probably do a small one. However, for one of her gifts, I would buy her thank you notes, and have each attendee address them, and then you can put the stamps on them so that she gets the hint and MUST do them-and she takes them home that day!! *laughing with my evil laugh* [/b]
This is a toughie. Like the others, I would probably do a small one. However, for one of her gifts, I would buy her thank you notes, and have each attendee address them, and then you can put the stamps on them so that she gets the hint and MUST do them-and she takes them home that day!! *laughing with my evil laugh* [/b]
niiiiiiice, Lyndsay!!!
[/b]
LOl! Evil, aren't I?! Bet ya didn't know I had it in me. I have lots of tricks up my sleeves!!!!
This is a toughie. Like the others, I would probably do a small one. However, for one of her gifts, I would buy her thank you notes, and have each attendee address them, and then you can put the stamps on them so that she gets the hint and MUST do them-and she takes them home that day!! *laughing with my evil laugh* [/b]
niiiiiiice, Lyndsay!!!
[/b]
LOl! Evil, aren't I?! Bet ya didn't know I had it in me. I have lots of tricks up my sleeves!!!!
[/b]
I would throw a party and make it co ed like the others said. I wouldn't let her distance bother you. Maybe when she has her baby she will soften up some. I do think having children bring out the best in us. I bet she will warm up to you if you put forth the extra effort. Good luck and have fun with it!!
Seriously? Ok. Well, I wouldn't throw a shower for her. I would have a diaper party or, something I saw on a show once..where people bring toys/other things their kids don't use anymore...
She shouldn't be expecting a shower...showers are gifts. Your brother needs a dose of reality.
So, yeah...I would explain to your brother than you have your own children to take care of, and money is tight. But that you'd be happy to host a diaper party or tea.
__________________ my thanks to Claire1979 for the awesome siggy!!
I would. Do it for your brother and the baby. I've had a VERY rocky few years with my SIL and I still sent gifts to her little kids at Christmas. The last thing you want is for this to become one of her stories...like years from now the kid asks "did you have a baby shower when pg with me?" and she says "no, your aunt and grandma were supposed to throw me one but didn't have the money. It hurt my feelings"
__________________ ~Allison
Mom to ds13, dd11, ds7, and ds3
Hello Baby Boy!
Seriously? Ok. Well, I wouldn't throw a shower for her. I would have a diaper party or, something I saw on a show once..where people bring toys/other things their kids don't use anymore...
She shouldn't be expecting a shower...showers are gifts. Your brother needs a dose of reality.
So, yeah...I would explain to your brother than you have your own children to take care of, and money is tight. But that you'd be happy to host a diaper party or tea.[/b]
phew! i was starting to think i was the only meanie!
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Sydney's mom @ Jan 9 2007, 08:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
<div class='quotemain'>
This is a toughie. Like the others, I would probably do a small one. However, for one of her gifts, I would buy her thank you notes, and have each attendee address them, and then you can put the stamps on them so that she gets the hint and MUST do them-and she takes them home that day!! *laughing with my evil laugh* [/b]
niiiiiiice, Lyndsay!!!
[/b]
LOl! Evil, aren't I?! Bet ya didn't know I had it in me. I have lots of tricks up my sleeves!!!!
[/b][/quote]
i LIKE the evil in you!!!!
[/b][/quote]
i loathe these situations. at first my brain read baby shower instead of bridal shower and i couldn't understand why no one was addressing the fact that this was her second baby!!! but anyway, does she have other relatives, a mom, other friends??? are you and your mother the only 2 women in her life? i don't understand why you two are obligated to throw a baby shower - you took care of the bridal shower! it's someone else's turn![/b]
That is what I was thinking! Where is her family and why are they not helping with this stuff???
My mom and my sister threw both my bridal and baby showers, but my DH's family sucks and the only person at my bridal shower from his family was his mom. I didnt even invite my MIL to my baby shower because a couple months before she tried to talk DH into leaving me and fighting me for custody of the baby.
Quote:
However, for one of her gifts, I would buy her thank you notes, and have each attendee address them, and then you can put the stamps on them so that she gets the hint and MUST do them-and she takes them home that day!! *laughing with my evil laugh* [/b]
My sister did this at my bridal and baby showers, but she did it so that I wouldnt have to address them all myself
i loathe these situations. at first my brain read baby shower instead of bridal shower and i couldn't understand why no one was addressing the fact that this was her second baby!!! but anyway, does she have other relatives, a mom, other friends??? are you and your mother the only 2 women in her life? i don't understand why you two are obligated to throw a baby shower - you took care of the bridal shower! it's someone else's turn!
you may have caught me in a mood, b/c i'm generally a people-pleaser, but i'm so irritated for you! no way would i throw her a baby shower. if you "keep the peace" now, you'll be doing it forever. just my 2 cents! GL![/b]
Her mom moved to fl this past oct, so she is not here, but she does have friends so I don't understand why they are not throwing her one???!?!
Quote:
This is a toughie. Like the others, I would probably do a small one. However, for one of her gifts, I would buy her thank you notes, and have each attendee address them, and then you can put the stamps on them so that she gets the hint and MUST do them-and she takes them home that day!! *laughing with my evil laugh* [/b]
That's a good idea!
__________________
~~Wife to Tom, Mommy to Matthew and Makayla~~
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Would you throw her a baby shower?
to her. The only reason I say to do it, is for your brother. Make it a co-ed shower. This is his baby too and I'm sure he would appreciate the help and gesture.
but anyway, does she have other relatives, a mom, other friends??? are you and your mother the only 2 women in her life? i don't understand why you two are obligated to throw a baby shower - you took care of the bridal shower! it's someone else's turn!
my thanks to Claire1979 for the awesome siggy!!
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