We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
and register
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
I'm serious. Feel free to ignore this. I think the act of typing it out is what is going to help me the most. At least, I hope so!!
The question is: To TTC or not to TTC?
I have been trying really hard to give myself a case of baby fever. I've been lurking on DDCs and the PRs of the newborn bubses. I've been hanging out with my friend, Michelle, who has a six month old who is just starting to sit up, still drinking out of bottles, still smells like a baby. I've been window shopping for baby items.
Last weekend, I backed out of my brother's December wedding. I was supposed to be a bridesmaid and, long story short, the dress that I would have to wear would not be compatible with a five- to six-months pregnant me. I had to put a deposit down on the dress and put it on order by June 1st and my bro and future-SIL were getting seriously fed up with my indecisiveness. So it was really best for everyone and I'm comfortable with the decision - but now I feel even more pressure to make up my mind!
Lyndon is ready. Like, YESTERDAY. He's just waiting for me to stop reaching for the condoms.
I don't know what I'm waiting for. I just can't stand to think of Kira not being the baby of the family anymore. I can't wrap my mind around the idea. There is so much that I want to do with her and ONLY her. It's so selfish, but it's how I feel right now.
I DO want more children - probably more than Lyndon would ever agree to - but just not yet.
If I want to start trying this cycle, June 5th (or thereabouts) is D-Day. I had a dream last night, though, that I got pregnant and got a BFP and instantly regretted it. It was awful.
I know no one can really give me advice on this. It's really a personal decision. Lyndon can't even help, really, because his feelings on the subject are quite clear and decisive. But if anyone has any input, I would definitely welcome it! In any case, thanks for letting me ramble. You might see more of it if I can't make my mind any time soon.
I am a firm believer that you "know" what is right for you. That said none of my kids were ever planned and I love them all. Good luck and hugs! I am sure that whatever happens you will be happy!
I am a firm believer that you "know" what is right for you. That said none of my kids were ever planned and I love them all. Good luck and hugs! I am sure that whatever happens you will be happy![/b]
Agreed! It is a decision that only you can make, Karin. And you know that. For me, I wanted my kids to have siblings and not get too use to being "the only baby". I think having siblings is a wonderful gift and I would like to give mine even more, but financially and physically I just don't think I can go there. But only you know when the time is right. I have a twin so of course I wanted my kids fairly close in age. It's all about you and your family though! GL deciding!
I was SO terrified when I knew I was pregnant with #2. I was upset "Summer would be robbed of the love and attention" she deserved. Oh, it was terrible.
Up until I held Emma in my arms...and realized that my life would never be the same.
Now, she's living up to that cliche
__________________ my thanks to Claire1979 for the awesome siggy!!
Well you are the only one that knows what is right. We talked about this a little bit last time we met up (see ladies we talk about everything LOL) I think we were more joking around but I really think that YOU need to be ready......but you can still have time with Kira all by her self you just have to make that time KWIM? Next time I am off we need to get together-----next week OK? I will let you know.
I totally agree with Rebecca and everyone else said.......
I think condoms are the worst, so if it means you can stop using them, then I say TTC. But seriously, in the immortal words of Roxette, "Listen to your heart..."
I am no help! Sometimes I think I'd be totally happy with just one chiild. I feel the same way about losing time with Riley I love hanging out just me and him, but like the other girls said, I want him to have a sibling. I'm kinda po'd that they are going to be as far apart as they are. There are pros and cons to both situations. If you're not ready, you're not ready.
I completely believe (and subscribe to) the idea that one should listen to her gut. Yours is apparently saying "don't put a baby in me!" LOL! Sorry, the sarcasm hit me and I had to share it!
But seriously, almost daily I come up against a decision and feel like I *should* choose "A" but there's something whispering "B, B, B" and I never regret following the whispers. A phrase I've learned is the past is to "not should on yourself." I think any time you choose the path you feel you *should* it's not the right one for YOUR happiness. It may make everyone else happy (Lyndon wants another one now), and it may even make total sense (you want another baby at some point, so just do it now), but that does not make it the right choice for YOU. It's not a matter of being selfish and disregarding Lyndon's feelings, it simply that your feelings are different and personal to you and just a valid.
If you've been trying to, essentially, psyche yourself up for wanting a baby right now, and it doesn't sound as though it's really catching on, then I'm hearing your heart saying it's just not the right time for you.
It sounds like you're trying to make yourself feel the way Lyndon wants you to feel, but it just ain't happenin'. Rarely does good come from making a choice that goes against your authentic self. Heed the signs (like your dream).
I apologize. i'm totally drugged and not terribley coherent. I check back tomorrow
I completely believe (and subscribe to) the idea that one should listen to her gut. Yours is apparently saying "don't put a baby in me!" LOL! Sorry, the sarcasm hit me and I had to share it!
But seriously, almost daily I come up against a decision and feel like I *should* choose "A" but there's something whispering "B, B, B" and I never regret following the whispers. A phrase I've learned is the past is to "not should on yourself." I think any time you choose the path you feel you *should* it's not the right one for YOUR happiness. It may make everyone else happy (Lyndon wants another one now), and it may even make total sense (you want another baby at some point, so just do it now), but that does not make it the right choice for YOU. It's not a matter of being selfish and disregarding Lyndon's feelings, it simply that your feelings are different and personal to you and just a valid.
If you've been trying to, essentially, psyche yourself up for wanting a baby right now, and it doesn't sound as though it's really catching on, then I'm hearing your heart saying it's just not the right time for you.
It sounds like you're trying to make yourself feel the way Lyndon wants you to feel, but it just ain't happenin'. Rarely does good come from making a choice that goes against your authentic self. Heed the signs (like your dream).
I apologize. i'm totally drugged and not terribley coherent. I check back tomorrow[/b]
I've couldn't have said it better! Good luck with your decision Karin! Babies are cute and everything, but if you feel like you need a little more time, then give yourself more time. All of mine, except for Emily, were surprises. I would never send any of them back, but I did have some doubt as to how ready I was. Nicholas and Brady are only 13 months apart. Talk about feeling like you're cheating the older child?!? I've learned that just because I've had more children doesn't mean the others ones need to grow up and move over to make room. Everyone eventually learns to adapt. I've given my children the gift of siblings. Although right now they may not view it as a gift. However, that doesn't mean that I'm pushing you to have a baby. Although I would love to see another adorable baby from you. Follow your heart! Don't let anyone else persuad you. You are the one that will be carrying this child and giving birth. You are the one that will change his/her diapers and get up at all hours for feedings. You will be the one that will have to figure out the balancing act of having more than one child. Sure babies are cute, but they are a lot of work. When you feel like YOU are ready, then go for it. Everyone will be happier in the long run.
I also want to apologize if this doesn't make total sensed.....also drugged (mildly)!
HuGS Karin! Ya know I agree with the other girls here. It isn't something you can convince yourself of, but I know if it were to happen, your inital reaction may not be excitement, you would warm up to the idea! But you both must be ready!
You will get there! And, we will be there with you every single step of the way too!
I have seen you around the WTTC boards, as I have been there a lot recently too. That said, I could have written the EXACT post you just wrote. I am so indecisive about it. Dan is ready, and wants to try end of this summer-- but I want to have that CRAZY baby fever before I try again, the same baby fever I had when TTC Alexis, I want that feeling this time too, and it just isn't there. I have milliseconds where I really want a baby, but most of the time I am perfectly content. So, I don't have any words of wisdom, but know that I am feeling that SAME way you are, so I can totally relate.
My sister got pregnant with her second dd and totally was miserable the whole pregnancy. They were 24 months apart and she was devastated at the thought of having another one. But, once Kaitlyn got here, things changed and she is so glad she had her that close to Allison. It is a total personal decision. The day before I was induced with Meagan, I took Madison and did things with her for special mommy and Madison time. I thought I had ruined her life having another baby. But, not at 6 and 8, they play so well togehter and I know they will be close when they grow up.
Thanks for the responses, guys. Every single one of your is right. I need to figure this $h!t out on my own! : lol:
I think the big problem is that with Kira, I KNEW I was ready. I literally woke up one morning and knew that it was time. (Even then, Lyndon was ready to go and was really just waiting around for me to get my act together. ) Then, I was pregnant within a matter of weeks and everything just felt perfect. And I know no one should count on "perfect". Nothing's perfect, yadda yadda, yeah, I know. But after being so clear on it before, I feel like if I'm not JUST as clear this time around, it means that I'm not really on board with it.
If I got pregnant (oops!), I wouldn't be sad or upset. I would be pretty happy. Nervous. But happy. I'm not against the idea of being pregnant...I'm just not all for it, either.
I also think it's a little harder to get super excited the second time around because we have already been there...ya know? I know before Emily I couldn't wait to do all the baby stuff. I knew it would be hard, but you really don't KNOW until you've been through it. Just thinking about the sleepless nights ahead makes me so nervous. The first time around, you kind of go in it blind. The second time, you know for the most part how it is going to be (the good and the bad).
I've been window shopping for baby items.
- but just not yet. 
It was awful.
my thanks to Claire1979 for the awesome siggy!!
However, that doesn't mean that I'm pushing you to have a baby. Although I would love to see another adorable baby from you. Follow your heart! Don't let anyone else persuad you. You are the one that will be carrying this child and giving birth. You are the one that will change his/her diapers and get up at all hours for feedings. You will be the one that will have to figure out the balancing act of having more than one child. Sure babies are cute, but they are a lot of work. When you feel like YOU are ready, then go for it. Everyone will be happier in the long run. 
Linear Mode
