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Being politically correct.....


Forum: 2006 Playroom

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  #21  
September 1st, 2009, 08:40 PM
~~Kim~~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I often wonder if by focusing so much on how we differ, it prevents us from seeing how much alike we are. If I consistently tell my child that the Mexican family across the street eat tamales for lunch and we never do, does that tell them that they are different from us and should be viewed as such. Things that are different are often classified as better or worse than what the norm is. Right now, my daughters see that family as just like us. There's a mom and a dad who Rob and I talk with while they play ball in the cul de sac with their four kids. I don't want it to be anything more or less than that. Trying to shape their opinions of people from other races, cultures, religion, or whatever is not what I want to do. I grew up in a white religious home in upstate NY. We had 1 person in my entire school who wasn't white. It wasn't until I went away to college that I was able to see diversity...and let me tell you, my family was shocked when I brought home my Dominican boyfriend who I almost married. Having that experience changed me and my family but it took a long time for the views I grew up with to be erased from my psyche. Even now, my 84 year old grandmother says the words "well you know what our black president said". She voted for him because he was the Dem candidate and that's what old people in NY vote for, but she still says "black president". She doesn't think she's saying anything wrong. It drives me completely insane because in her lifetime, they made that distinction. In my lifetime, I'd like to think that we're getting past that separation based on race or ethnicity. Blah...off my soap box. I need to go take a Tylenol PM so I can sleep because this thing has me all worked up.
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  #22  
September 1st, 2009, 08:52 PM
BonitaAppleBomb's Avatar ~African-American-Mommy~
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~~Kim~~ View Post
I often wonder if by focusing so much on how we differ, it prevents us from seeing how much alike we are. Things that are different are often classified as better or worse than what the norm is. Right now, my daughters see that family as just like us. I don't want it to be anything more or less than that. Trying to shape their opinions of people from other races, cultures, religion, or whatever is not what I want to do. . It drives me completely insane because in her lifetime, they made that distinction. In my lifetime, I'd like to think that we're getting past that separation based on race or ethnicity. Blah...off my soap box. I need to go take a Tylenol PM so I can sleep because this thing has me all worked up.
Great points Kim-especially the bolded. I completely agree. The red statements are so true and profound.
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  #23  
September 1st, 2009, 09:00 PM
mama2jacob&charlotte's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hmm... I'm not saying we should FOCUS on it, but it's there, and if we TRY to ignore it, it does as much damage as TRYING to focus on it... if that makes sense.'

It's always amazed me how racist my grandparent's generation was. My grandparents were holocaust survivors... one of the worst, most destructive examples of racism EVER, obviously, yet my grandparents still hated others that were different from them... how they didn't make that connection was always beyond me. So, I feel privileged that we live in a time where it is unacceptable (in most cases) to be racist. However, if we don't discuss our children's observations frankly, we'll end up right back there.
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  #24  
September 1st, 2009, 09:28 PM
BonitaAppleBomb's Avatar ~African-American-Mommy~
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2jacob&charlotte View Post
Hmm... I'm not saying we should FOCUS on it, but it's there, and if we TRY to ignore it, it does as much damage as TRYING to focus on it... if that makes sense.'

So, I feel privileged that we live in a time where it is unacceptable (in most cases) to be racist. However, if we don't discuss our children's observations frankly, we'll end up right back there.
I completely agree with the bolded Cori. One of the main things you said was "our children's observations" and that is very important. They must be our children's observations and not any preconceived negative observations that have been passed down..if that makes any sense. I too think that is important to let our children make their own observations and then we as parents can have discussions with them. The mistake a lot of people have made is NOT allowing their kids to make their own observations, but instead telling their children right out of the gate who they should and should not like because of their ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, etc.
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  #25  
September 2nd, 2009, 04:58 AM
AnnaBananasMom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This is obviously a very complicated subject, and I feel conflicted about it. I see both sides. I don't know, I've always had a very diverse group of friends. On the one hand, I'm color blind because I see the person, not my African American friend, Indian friend, Muslim friend, etc., etc. On the other hand, it's no accident that my group of friends has been so diverse. I think I do seek it out. As a minority myself, I celebrate my culture within this melting pot, and I think it's so interesting to experience others' cultures as well.

One of the things that annoyed me so much about New England was how homogenous it was...and segregated! There is actually a huge Latino population there, but they are pushed into invisible corners of town and I never once met anyone who wasn't Caucasian. What I love about this area of North Carolina is the diversity. The town where I live is particularly diverse. I admit, I loved seeing all the different ethnicities in Anna's preschool class yesterday. That's the atmosphere I want her to grow up in.

I have never pointed out others' race, color, ethnicity, or religion, but when she talks about it, I'll talk to her openly about it. She's the product of mixed ethnicities herself. She's raised very much in the "typical" white household, but I try to infuse my culture whenever I can. She's in a Spanish immersion preschool as much to learn the language as it is to embrace that part of her heritage that I hope does not get lost.

Wow, I rambled, and I have no idea if it made any sense! lol
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  #26  
September 2nd, 2009, 10:59 AM
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Rosa,
It made complete sense

Let me just make it clear, that, I do NOT like go and say to my kids 'OH LOOK! HE'S AFRICAN AMERICAN!' Or whatever.. I was simply referring to when it has been asked by my child, that that is the answer that was given to him!

Side note to what I have been unfortunetly raised in:
My dad mentioned to me that he didn't think it was 'cool' that the boys now have Mexican cousins, and that I have a Mexican sister. (my bio dad's side) And I told him, well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but to not love them, in a sense is to not love your own grandchildren... He later said he was sorry..

I agree with everything that was previously stated in the sense that I get where each and every one of you are coming from. It is sad that we do live in a society where you are labled by your race or ethnic backround.. And I personally am not going to be pushing that onto my children. I want them to know, as I already stated, that yes, God made all of us different in the sense that our skin may be different, the things we celebrate and do with our families may be different. But, he loves us ALL THE SAME, and so we will do the same as well.

I can only hope that as adults, they will take what Brandon and I have taught them and hide it in their hearts, and do this as well.. If they choose not to, well, they are their own individual, and we will love them anyway of course, but, it will always be shared with them that these are our feelings on this subject.


Feel free to keep on posting, but, as for me, I have said all I need to say.
Thanks again for replying, and opening up my eyes to things that even I was blind to before I do appreciate it!
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  #27  
September 2nd, 2009, 02:34 PM
Orangebrittainy's Avatar Queen of Randomocity
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I completely agree that the time to address it is when the Child notices. I think at that point He will get the God wanted everyone to be special so we are all different in some ways, but there are many things we have in common speech
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  #28  
September 2nd, 2009, 04:40 PM
my_boys_are_my_joy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Cori, I guess in a way I do try to make them color blind, but that's b/c of how I was raised and where we come from. People will swear up and down that they're not racists or prejudice, but their suddle comments and actions show clearly otherwise. And they always point out the ethnicity of any non-white person..."the black bank teller," "the Mexican boy" etc. (whispering the words black and Mexican like it's some awful ailment.)

So I don't want my kids to primarily see people in the community as black, Mexican, Asian, etc. I want them to first identify with them as people. I mean, we don't go around talking about "the white kid". He's just a kid, same as if he were non-white. I want my kids to first see their simililarities rather than their differences.

As far as celebrating the differences, I have no problems with that. It can be so much fun. I can just see discussions of, "look at all the neat things Leo and his family do around the holidays."
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  #29  
September 5th, 2009, 11:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~~Kim~~ View Post
I often wonder if by focusing so much on how we differ, it prevents us from seeing how much alike we are. If I consistently tell my child that the Mexican family across the street eat tamales for lunch and we never do, does that tell them that they are different from us and should be viewed as such.

That's a bit extreme IMO. I am not constantly pointing out that other enthic groups eat differently than us. To go to such extremes is not right either but to say we are all exactly the same is ridiculous. Of course, to say all white people are exactly the same is ridiculous too. We are all very different.
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