X posted but I just got some bad news and I need advice

Amanda C · #1 November 3rd, 2009, 09:47 AM

my brother just called to tell me that my dad is dying

Now here's the situation. My dad has Multiple Sclerosis. It was diagnosed when I was 13. He's never wanted much to do with my brother or I. He's never met my kids at all. I really don't even know if he and his wife know that I'm pregnant again. After I had kids I quit even bothering to talk to him b/c after having kids of my own I honestly couldn't understand how he could treat us the way he did

Now though he is apparently in and out of conciousness and he is in the care of Hospice and he's asking to see us. His wife is a supreme *itch that annoys me to death when I'm not pregnant much less when I am pregnant.

I can't decide if I should go or not. I'm so mad at him but I guess we all need closure but who knows if we'll even get that you know?

I'm already on Prozac b/c my aunt and cousin were shot and killed in February and I stay very emotionally stressed over that still so I'm not sure if I can handle this not to mention he and his wife never even called to check on me through all that.

I'm just torn. What do you think I should do?

#2 November 3rd, 2009, 09:58 AM

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my mother's death... and although our situations are completely 100% different, you just have to decide if you would be okay with yourself if you didn't go and see him when you were presented with the opportunity. Regret can be a really life-consuming aftermath of these situations.

mommy2twoboys · #3 November 3rd, 2009, 11:21 AM

I agree with niclis, after losing both my parents and my mom and I didnt have a great relationship when I was younger cause of choices she made, I would regret not being there in the end. Sorry you are having to go though this but its your decision and only you can make it. good luck to you what ever you decieded

MellieB · #4 November 3rd, 2009, 01:48 PM

Amanda. I agree with the others.

MarieJ · #5 November 3rd, 2009, 04:06 PM

Both my parents are gone, which is hard enough in itself; but I think it would be even harder if I had any regrets. You are strong, and you can get through this. Look how much you've gone through already. Do what you can live with for the next 50 years. We're here for you either way.