[IceAngel8381]

Eva's first birthday is officially on a Thursday this year. So, we have planned since about June to have a her part on Saurday so everyone can attend. It was planned that it would be here since she is my child and it is her first birthday (I refused to let anyone control her party and that won't happen here). So, everything was all planned for the party to be here in about a week and a half. My DH calls me this morning while I am at work and says "There was something I forgot to tell you last night." I say "OK....what?" He says that since his grandmother has to have knee surgery on August 1 (this Friday) that we will have to move Eva's party because she will not be able to go upstairs to use the restroom if needed." Mind you, last time she came here, she was here about a hour and never set foot in my house. My immediate response is "She has know since she has been here (July 9th) that Eva's part is at our house and is on August 9th. Why did she schedule her surgery a WEEK before the party knowing it was at our house and how our house is?" He says she didn't set the appointment up, the doctor did. I know my MIL went to the appointment and is the one who set it up and I'm sure she did it on purpose knowing when the party was and was mad I put my foot down on when/where it was to be. So now, we are having a party with just us (DH, Eva and me) on August 7th and the other party on August 9th. And what really irks me is that my mom was planning on coming to the party on the 9th at my house, and because she does not really like my MIL (maily because she has seen how she has treated me) she will probably not come to the party on the 9th at my MIL's. I know his grandmother's main purpose of coming here was to have her knee surgery (she has her other knee operated on in January) but hte timing just sucks and now my daughter's first party with family and friends will probably be a disaster because my MIL is such a PITA.

[swade66]

I am sorry you are pissed.

We ended up having Elizabeth's party at my grandparents house. My mom and dad had a NASTY divorce but they both undertstood that if they really love Elizabeth they would get along and be happy. If your mother really loves Eva then she will act like an adult, suck it up and show up.

[IceAngel8381]

**UPDATE**
I just got off the phone with my DH and it appears that it still may be at our house. He was talking to his mom and they decided that it could still be here and his grandmother will not attend since they will take Eva for the night on Saturday. It seems that no matter what we do somone will be pissed, whether it be me because the party isn't where I planned it, or my MIL/grandmother-in-law because my grandmother-in-law coulsn't walk up the stairs. As for my mom, I have not had a chance to tell my mom of the change, but if I go get her and take her to the party she will go and suck it up.

I'm just sick of catering to everyone else and then being thought of the bad guy because for once, I want to do something my way.

[jeni714]

Dont get offended.. but im just going with it.. NOT MEANT TO OFFEND

1) i would NOT change the party.. no way no how.. you planned everything for that day.. it would be that day.. end of story

2) if you still choose to change the date for one person.. i agree with SJ's response.. your mom needs to just suck it up for a few hrs. and be there for Eva

3).. it seems like majority of your posting here on JM is bashing your MIL who seems to think you are a doormat and can just do what she wants in your life.. the reason why she does what she wants is becusae you and your husband let her.. you need to stand up to her.. this is YOUR daughter, YOUR husband YOUR life.. she needs to butt out and you need to stop accomodating her...

I hope it can turn out well for the sake of Eva

[IceAngel8381]

Dont get offended.. but im just going with it.. NOT MEANT TO OFFEND

1) i would NOT change the party.. no way no how.. you planned everything for that day.. it would be that day.. end of story

2) if you still choose to change the date for one person.. i agree with SJ's response.. your mom needs to just suck it up for a few hrs. and be there for Eva

3).. it seems like majority of your posting here on JM is bashing your MIL who seems to think you are a doormat and can just do what she wants in your life.. the reason why she does what she wants is becusae you and your husband let her.. you need to stand up to her.. this is YOUR daughter, YOUR husband YOUR life.. she needs to butt out and you need to stop accomodating her...

I hope it can turn out well for the sake of Eva[/b]

No offense taken...I agree.

My DH said at the end of the call it would be at our house, but I think he wasn't talking to me at that point. We will discuss it when he gets home.

My mom and my MIL have only met a few times and the last time was at my baby shower (at my mom's house) and my MIL tried to take over the shower so that is partly why my mom doesn't like her. However, she has said she will attend the party and I'm sure she will go regardless of where it is. Eva is his first grandchild so I'm sure she will swallow her pride and be there. I didn't mean to make it seem that my mom is acting like a kid. She doesn't know my MIL well and what interactions they have had, were not under the best circumstances. I'm sure regardless of where the party is, she will be there with bells on. LOL

My MIL thinks EVERYONE is a doormat. She can't take no for a answer and when someone does tell her no, she acts like a sniveling 5 year old. Like I said before, I would feel bad my DH's grandmother would miss out, but I'm sorry as to how my house is designed and I can't (and won't) accomodate everyone.

The more I sit and think about this, the more I realize this party WILL be at MY house and for those who don't like it.....don't come. Period.

Like I said before, I'm sick of walking on eggshells with her. Everyone else does but I'm done!!! My child....my child's party....my house....my rules. If you don't like it....TOUGH!!!!


::steps off soapbox::

[Spotis]

Just an idea, but you could always throw the party on neutral ground, such as a park pavilion. That way you maintain the control, but the bathroom issue is solved and no one can argue that you didn't accomodate your DH's grandmother.

Whatever you decide, I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating Eva's first birthday.

[Mrs. Mustin]

I agree with Jeni.

If it were me, I would still have the party you're planning, and then maybe a few days after the party go with Eva to visit the grandma who had knee surgery and maybe take pictures and/or video from the party and share with the grandma then. Just a thought.

[HeathJS28]

Well...I would tell her to shove it...and do what I wanted to.

This is how I feel....I'm having Addison's party at MY house on the 23rd. It may just be me and Shannon...I don't care. It may just be the in-laws, my parents and Shannon....I don't care. If people don't come because of their own selfish reasons then fine. It is her first birthday and i want it the way I want it...which is at our house!

[IceAngel8381]

It's gonna be at our house on the 9th and those who want to come can come and if they don't that's up to them. They (the in-laws) are taking Eva the evening of the 9th, so grandmother in-law will see her that day, just not at the party. I am at the point of I am sick of trying to please everyone and can't win no matter what I do, so if they don't like it, too frickin' bad.

I just got off the phone with my mom, and she will be here to help set up for the party and to spend some time with Eva before everyone else gets here.

Maybe.....my MIL will be on good behavior with my mom here and the party being at my house.

[Chunky Monkey]

Popping in here.

Hi Wendy!!

Your MIL is selfish and spoiled and it seems no matter what you do, she is always going to be pissed off! I have known you for a long time and even then you were having problems with her. Before you got pregnant with Eva. I would just do what you planned to do for you, Mark & Eva. I know you are sad Mark's grandma can't be there but unfortunately that can't be helped. At least she'll get to see Eva that night.

No matter where you have the party, DO NOT let your MIL dictate or take over! You know she's going to try! Warn Mark and your mom ahead of time she might start acting like that, though I am sure they both already know.

If you need anything, you know how to call or text me. I'm just a call away. And I wanna see lots of pics of Miss Eva's first birthday party! I wish we could attend but unfortunately you live 4 hours away from us

[IceAngel8381]

***UPDATE***
My DH and I were discussing the guest list for Eva's party last night and he told me some interesting information. He said that my in-laws (FIL, MIL and grandmother-in-law) are NOT coming to Eva's birthday party. When I asked him what happened, he said he wasn't really sure but his mom told him yesterday that were were not coming (it was decided that they would come and leave grandmother-in-law at home after her surgery and would take Eva home with them that night). Well, he said that none of them were coming but she didn't truely say why. DH said he didn't care if she came and if she was going to act like a child, then so be it. I think that she isn't coming because we put our foot down and said it was going to be at our house, and therefore she CANNOT control the party. I had thought it was partially due to her mom having knee surgery, but then I thought about it more I realized the last time she had the surgery she was up and moving and was doing fine, so I know that isn't the real reason. If that were the true reason, she would have said so.....she isn't shy about stuff like that, so I think it's a pride issue. So, it looks like it just going to be DH, me, Eva, my mom (dad can't get off work), and a bunch of friends who also have kids. So, it looks like this party may be stress-free after all!!

I think think it is a shame she can't swallow her pride and come to her grandchild FIRST birthday party!! Not to mention that my FIL won't come to the party because he doesn't want to have her wrath over him (but we may convince him to come anyways since he bought a new camcorder. )