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Time outs?


Forum: 2007 Playroom

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  #1  
February 10th, 2009, 11:15 AM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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Are you doing them? We just started this week and we have used it twice. I need a better location and I will work on that...but he seemed to understand he was in trouble. I left him there for a few min and he had calmed down by then. The first time I had to go put him back in the chair a lot but then he got the message and sat there. The second time he knew what was up.

I gave him a hug when it was all over and told him to be a good boy. Whether he knows what I am saying or meaning is another thing. I think he understands most of what I say though...he responds pretty well.

Just wondering what you do for discipline now that are LO's are older!

If you have that perfect kid that does no wrong then don't tell me!! I can't take it
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  #2  
February 10th, 2009, 11:30 AM
~FaRRaH~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I do a time out but not structured at this point. Like this morning I asked SuSu several times to leave the bathroom she refused and started to throw a fit. I calmly picked her up set her down on the floor outside the bathroom, said Mama said to go and I walked away. Then she calmed down and came to me and hugged me. I used this until they are a little older. She gets the point that I am not standing around allowing the tantrum.

I like timeouts I think they work prefectly!
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  #3  
February 10th, 2009, 11:58 AM
danniegirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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we do time outs at home. I bought a chair for it and we been doing it for a couple of weeks. Samantha knows she is in trouble when she sits in there. Im not strict but When I tell her know she will throw a tantrum then throw something at me and I just had to do something. She screamed the first time and she stayed there until she calmed down. Afterwards she gives me a hug and goes about playing.

When daddy puts her in time out its a different story as that breaks her heart still to this day.
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  #4  
February 10th, 2009, 01:16 PM
stephie1012's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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we just do redirection here, timeouts never really worked with dd till she got much older, i doubt Cj will sit anywhere so we will stick with the redirection for now..i think we started timeouts a lil before ky turned 3...they were to frustrating before that bc she didnt get why she had to sit and she just kept getting up

thats great they seem to be working for you!
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  #5  
February 10th, 2009, 01:20 PM
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I redirect too- I htink Sadie is too young to understand timeouts...
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  #6  
February 10th, 2009, 01:29 PM
*Sharon*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Redirection and/or just talking to him for us. He understands very well, so I normally just talk to him about it and then redirect him to something else. Or if he is being rough to Belle or Ry...I give them love and rub their arm or something and remind Finn to be gentle. Then, so far, he has always rubbed their arm or such too. Sometimes it takes him a minute or 2, but he always does go love on them.

The only thing I have done that is close to a time out is once when we were at the ice skating rink. We go when there is hardly anyone there. Belle and Ry skate while I stay with Finn in the warm lounge room. (I can see Belle and Ry...the wall is mostly windows and glass doors). He kept going into the MENS restroom. I explained to him that it is icky and to stay out. But he went back in. I brought him back out and told him that if he went in again he would have to sit in his stroller for a while. (I don't want his stroller to be a punishment though...) He went back in a while later, so I remind him and put him in the stroller and pushed him around the room. After I let him back out he went back into the bathroom a little while later...looking at me the whole time to see what I would do. Stinker. lol So I put him back in the stroller and gave him a ride around the room again. Then reminded him no icky bathroom. He didn't go back in. Phew.
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  #7  
February 10th, 2009, 01:38 PM
Beaker's Avatar My boys are adorable
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I use stern voice, then redirection and then time-outs. I have doing this for 3 months with great success.
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  #8  
February 10th, 2009, 02:14 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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Quote:
I use stern voice, then redirection and then time-outs. I have doing this for 3 months with great success.[/b]

That is encouraging to hear! We only do time outs when he is hitting or pinching. I don't make him sit there for something he doesn't understand...but he knows when he is trying to smack you in the face that he is being mean.

ETA: Redirection quit working months ago for us. If he wants something he is bound and determined to do it or get it no matter what you distract him with. That is why the time outs came into play.
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  #9  
February 10th, 2009, 02:29 PM
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Meredith hasn't started hitting yet, thank goodness... if/when she starts, then we will start time-outs. Mostly now, I just talk to her, explain why she shouldn't be doing whatever it is she's doing, and distract her with something else. She seems to understand pretty well. She listens when I say "no-no" most of the time.

Her main thing is tantrums. She has mastered tthem, and they were becoming frequent for a while, so whenever she did it, I'd just take her and put her in the middle of the living room floor (nothing to bump her head or get hurt on with all the flailing and rolling she does) and walk away. Then when she calms down, we do something she really likes, like coloring or reading. Since I started doing that, she doesn't throw nearly as many! Still haven't figured out what to do with her public tantrums... LOL luckily we've only had a few.
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  #10  
February 10th, 2009, 06:24 PM
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SO has started, but he usually gets up right away and continues being bad. If he holds him down he will fight back and try to bite. Yes, my child is a total devil. I don't know what to do with him.
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  #11  
February 10th, 2009, 07:03 PM
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I'm not a huge believer in time-outs. Caleb is extremely persistent about things so redirecting doesn't work well for us either. I've been giving Caleb a firm "no" and picking him up and setting him away from whatever he won't leave alone. This often results in a tantrum. I simply leave him alone and he discovers that his tantrum is not working. He then comes and finds me, I pick him up, hug him and all is well again.

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  #12  
February 10th, 2009, 09:07 PM
*Sharon*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Redirection isn't instantaneous most of the time, but it is finding a way it works for you little one. Finn loves to climb on to the table. And if I just try to say, "oh, honey come play with this ball. See isn't this ball fun!" I miiiiiight work, but chances are he will still want to play on the table instead. So part of my redirecting him is first stopping him from doing what he shouldn't, then talking to him in 1 sentence in a firm voice, then removing him from that area or removing the object from where he can get it, then actively helping him move on to something else. And sometimes it does result in him throwing a tantrum...rarely now though...he threw a ton of tantrums from about 10-12 mos. But not often now. He may be obviously unhappy about it though.
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  #13  
February 10th, 2009, 10:49 PM
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Redirecting or just saying no and then i explain why he can't/shouldn't do that "like oh no hot don't touch" works pretty well for us. we've only had to do one time out so far. It wasn't a long one either - i've read and been told to for the first few years do a time out the legth in minutes that they are old in years. so 1 minute for a one year old - which is forever for them. When we did time out after wards - gave him hugs and told him i loved him.
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  #14  
February 11th, 2009, 06:33 AM
ETanny's Avatar Mamma 2 Moo & Pops
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Redirecting is starting to stop working for us so i am now getting to the point where i am going to start time outs wihtin the next couple of weeks x
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  #15  
February 11th, 2009, 11:14 AM
~Tiffany~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I've been giving Caleb a firm "no" and picking him up and setting him away from whatever he won't leave alone. This often results in a tantrum. I simply leave him alone and he discovers that his tantrum is not working. He then comes and finds me, I pick him up, hug him and all is well again.[/b]
This is what we have been doing and seems to be working for now, I am not sure time outs would work with Brennan, we have not tried.

I am having a hard time with the hitting or being rough, he realizes at the time that he shouldn't be doing it after we tell him no and will then be nice, but he will do it again at a later time?!?!? I have really been trying to teach him to be nice and gentle (he really only does it every once in a while) but I want him to realize he should be nice because he will soon have a baby sister to love!
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  #16  
February 11th, 2009, 11:55 AM
missheather's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Quote:
I've been giving Caleb a firm "no" and picking him up and setting him away from whatever he won't leave alone. This often results in a tantrum. I simply leave him alone and he discovers that his tantrum is not working. He then comes and finds me, I pick him up, hug him and all is well again.[/b]
This is what we have been doing and seems to be working for now, I am not sure time outs would work with Brennan, we have not tried.

I am having a hard time with the hitting or being rough, he realizes at the time that he shouldn't be doing it after we tell him no and will then be nice, but he will do it again at a later time?!?!? I have really been trying to teach him to be nice and gentle (he really only does it every once in a while) but I want him to realize he should be nice because he will soon have a baby sister to love!
[/b]
Caleb isn't really rough with hitting and such, but I've been thinking a lot about him and his soon to be little sister. I think he's going to want to be poking at her eyes and sticking his fingers in her mouth. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but life is going to get very interesting for us, isn't it?
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  #17  
February 11th, 2009, 02:04 PM
MommaScandalous's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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nope, don't really think the time-outs are necessary until they're 2 or so. why make them sit there when they don't really fully understand why they're sitting there? there has to be a better way. even if you see a result you want, i think enternally it's not doing the full job.

i don't feel like the kids are intentionally hurting, but definitely intentionally exploring your limits and the possibilities. that's what learning is all about. find a way to teach, using talking and redirection, rather than making them just sit there and do nothing and think. think about what? they have no clue!!
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  #18  
February 11th, 2009, 02:19 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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I don't think I am the type of person that would assume what other people's children can and would understand. There are kids that potty train 17 months, but time out is beyond a 16 month old's understanding? I just don't agree. But that's just me.

I really don't want to wait until Grady is two for him to realize that hitting and pinching are not going to be tolerated. He knows when he does it that it is mean cause then he will try to hug you or kiss you...and he doesn't get in time out for it everytime. Only when I try to get him to stop and he gets more aggressive. This is a new thing so I am learning too. I appreciate everyone's opinions. Thanks.

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  #19  
February 11th, 2009, 02:30 PM
*Sharon*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I absolutely agree that most toddlers this age understand enough to be taught that hitting, pinching, hairpulling, biting, and such are not okay. It is just a matter of finding out what works best for your LO.
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  #20  
February 11th, 2009, 02:35 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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I absolutely agree that most toddlers this age understand enough to be taught that hitting, pinching, hairpulling, biting, and such are not okay. It is just a matter of finding out what works best for your LO.[/b]
I totally agree that it should be based on the individual.

Just the blank statements of a child doesn't understand until "this age" was what kind of surprised me. I know their are guidelines to everything based on a lot of typical children. I respect that. But no child is the same...so I am not going to assume mine won't understand.
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