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So awhile ago I joined Facebook and friends from high school added me as a friend. Now most of these friends were my LIFE.. we did everything together.. they meant a lot to me and they still do. However, I am the only one whose a mom. Most of my friends are just now graduating from college and are still in that partying phase. I really haven't seen a lot of them in years.
Anyway, the stuff they post on FB makes me sick. One guy friend made some post like "What's with another person I know having a child?" and all my friends responded "Ugh, breeders".. or "Ugh, overpopulating the earth"..
And then my ex-bestfriend make a post today about how she wants to buy a CHILDS CASKET for her coffee room table.
(now, to add.. as teenagers we thought it was cool to have a ADULT casket for a bed.. we were total goths into edgar allen poe and all that).. but c'mon..
She posts pictures of mutilated dolls and.. ugh.. she just hates children. I am just realizing how different I am from all these friends. I just wonder if I should just delete them all. I don't want to read this crap.
We are just SO different. When you have a baby it's like you change big time.. and I am just not apart of their mindset anymore.. drinking all night.. only live for yourself... dead babies are cool attitude.
But.. they are old friends and we have a lot of history together. I am not sure what I should do.
Seriously though, I actually found things about facebook that I really despised and some of these "super witty ha ha" comments that people make about things is one of them. It's like this weird way for people to be passive aggressive without even having to speak.
I haven't deleted my facebook yet, but I never use it anymore and I'm sorely tempted to go ahead and close it up.
But if you still enjoy using it, you can set someone's comments to ignore, so they don't show up your feed.
oh wow. some of that stuff is terrible! maybe you can click the hide button by their names, that way you won't have to see all that stuff but they will still be on your friends' list so if you ever need to send them a msg or anything they'll be on there. i wouldn't want to see all that either!
i guess since having eli i have NEW friends, mostly moms. my bff was a mom way before me, her daughter is 5. and after having eli i joined the local mom board so, most people i talk to daily have kids also. there are some from high school/college who don't have kids yet but they are always commenting on my pics how cute the kids are, can't wait to have their own, etc.
now dh has LOTS of friends who don't have kids that say stuff like your high school friends, like "why would you want kids?" etc. and dh had anniston when he was 20. so he always tells them "why wouldn't you? my kids are my world! i love them" and i love when he tells them that. they might not understand, but they do shut up!
see now that would totally turn me off to a friendship with the person who was talking about the child casket ***???? i would be deleting them asap!! as for the others...some people are like that...not wanting kids etc....
I have been slowly deleting people that I had added as friends. I have found that there was a reason that I stopped talking to some people years ago and that the years that we haven't talked, nothing has really changed. They are the same and I have moved on. It's sad to think that these people that were your best friends for so many years and you have nothing in common with them anymore.. but when we grow and change and they are still in the same mindset that makes it impossible to still be friends. *hugs*
i agree jenn. most people i knew from school have grown up, moved out of their parents' house, become parents themselves, have developed more adult personalities.....and depending on those things, you may or may not still have lots in common. i have found some people there and just picked up right where we left off, and then others, it's like "oh hey. yeah. ttyl!" lol.
I kinda know what you mean as far as some poeple not changing. I only know a few since I have been out of school (ahem) 20 years this year (insert old jokes here). In my early 20's, I didn't want kids, either. I was never goth, always preppy, but I was afraid of having kids (cause i was an abused child) and I'd use the old no kids lines to cover my reasons. I'd NEVER joke about dead babies or caskets, etc., though- that's just plain AWFUL!!!!!!! I was more of a "do you want smoking or non" and my reply was "the non-children section, please" etc. I outgrew the smart alleckness (is that a word?) and became more respectful by 23-24, and def by 25. I'd never say ugly things to my friends with kids, though, but thought it was funny to respond "im allergic" when they'd ask when I was having any. I regret being a smart@ss now and yes i apologized a couple years later to a few peeps. I'd help babysit and go to bday parties and accompany friends to the zoo and park with thier kids so they could have adult convos, but it would leave me feeling empty and so my "jokes" were my way of covering. Hopefully someof your friends only mean it like that. Problem with FB is that anyone can read these things and get offended.
In the opposite of you, because chris and I never planned on kids (been together since 22) I was the one WITHOUT kids, and ALL my friends had them, so I was kinda left out from my old hs friends in my 20's. We never changed our minds until we started TTC in 2005, 11 yrs later, lol) I moved on and only really kept up with a couple good friends. At out 10th reunion, almost everyone had finished "growing up", and then when the 20th started coming around, everyone I knew and even those who never liked me came out of the woodwork looking me up on FB. WEIRD. I slowly deleted a few after seeing they were the same, but most are normal 40ish' with kids and a mortgage like the rest of us. No more catty crap, no more clicks, it's been alot of fun becoming friends with people i wasn't really friends with back then cause of clicks.
ok i went on and on but my point is that most grow up. you are in different worlds right now. 20's is too old for goth and coffin coffee tables, so sounds like some of them need to be slowly released from your friends list till they start growing up and learn how to lead an adult like. Children or not!