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Lately I have been having what seem to be panic attacks. I can feel the worries settling in about the baby and just life in general. I get short of breath and feel and tightening in my chest. My stomach gets upset to the point where I actually get diarhhea (sorry TMI).
I just don't know how I am going to get everything done. I am scared to death of becoming a mom. I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember but then I went so long thinking it would never happen that I can't help feeling that at any second someone is going to come and take it all away.
I am scared to death about giving birth and raising a child. What if I can't do it or what if I screw up my poor kid. I also wonder how things will change between DH and I. We have been married for over 6 years and for the most part I am used to having him to myself. I love him more than anything and I am afraid we won't have much time for each other any more.
I can't shake this awful feeling that something is very wrong. I lay in bed at night thinking about all of these things which is just one more reason that I hardly sleep.
I feel like I need to do something for a day to just leave it all behing and relax but we have no money to go anywhere or do anything. Besides the problems are always there when I come back.
Is anyone else freaking out this badly or am I really losing it?
awww. maybe you need to let your doctor know about the anxiety your having. Dont get yourself all stressed, its not good on the baby either. I'm sure everything will be ok for you. Im sure youll be a great mom.
Something that may help is forms of visualization. Write down what you're hoping for. Just list bullet points of what you want out of this experience.
An example:
- An uncomplicated labor
- A healthy baby
So start there. Visualize your birth scenario. Down the minute details. Just play a little movie in your head.
Then start in on life after baby. Imagine all the fun and joy you'll be experiencing. That first smile, or having a professional portrait done with your family. Imagine you and DH, snuggling up in bed after a long day enjoying your family.
Whenever I start to have panic attacks, I visualize the "problem", the solution, and the desired outcome. It usually not only helps to calm me down, but to help me deal with whatever subconscious feelings/memories/etc are causing me to be anxious.
I dont have panic attacks, but I am feeling the pressures and worries of becoming a mom. I too get the feeling that there is so much to get done, and am scared about the huge life changes. I think the feelings you are having are normal, but the fact that it turns into panic attacks might be something you want to discuss with your Dr.
Ditto to your original post. Minus the panic attacks. For me it's just a generalized depression. I hate the feeling that I really have no control over what's going to happen in the next few months.
I'm terrified of losing another baby. But at the same time, I'm terrified of being a bad mother too. I mean, what if it was better that Cora didn't stay than have me for a mom?
Ugh. I don't let that last thought out very often.
I told DH yesterday that I had no idea what to do with a newborn. He laughed at me. He said "with all those babies that you've been around and are around? I don't believe that for a second. Have faith in yourself."
So, yeah, I guess that's how I deal with my "mom" worries. If I can calm down my friend's baby when he's upset, and I'm NOT mom, then I should be okay with my own baby, right?
((Want to know my real secret worry? I'm afraid that after all these years of wanting a baby and my time mourning Cora, that I'll actually get a baby home and hate being a mother...)) >_<
Ditto to your original post. Minus the panic attacks. For me it's just a generalized depression. I hate the feeling that I really have no control over what's going to happen in the next few months.
I'm terrified of losing another baby. But at the same time, I'm terrified of being a bad mother too. I mean, what if it was better that Cora didn't stay than have me for a mom?
Ugh. I don't let that last thought out very often.
I told DH yesterday that I had no idea what to do with a newborn. He laughed at me. He said "with all those babies that you've been around and are around? I don't believe that for a second. Have faith in yourself."
So, yeah, I guess that's how I deal with my "mom" worries. If I can calm down my friend's baby when he's upset, and I'm NOT mom, then I should be okay with my own baby, right?
((Want to know my real secret worry? I'm afraid that after all these years of wanting a baby and my time mourning Cora, that I'll actually get a baby home and hate being a mother...)) >_<[/b]
Brittanie, I think you are going to be a fantastic mom. Cora would have been very lucky to have been able to live here on Earth with you as her mother.
I worry too that I will hate being a mom, even after all of these year of wanting to be one. I am pretty good with babies too but I know it is totally different when it is your own baby. It is one thing to visit or babysit and then give the baby back. It is a totally different thing when that baby is your responsibility 24 hours a day.
Oh Susan Im sorry your feeling blue. I agree with what the others said especially Redifer, I think that sounds like a fantastic idea, and it certainly cant hurt to try. But that if it continues or worsens you should talk to your Dr. Im sure its just the 3rd tri blues. You WILL find a way to still have DH, you will be a good Mom and everything is going to be just wonderful. You'll see.
Britney: Im sorry honnie, I cant imagine all the fears and anxieties that you must have but one thing I can tell you is that you are going to absolutely love being a mother, and you are gonna be darn good at it too!!! Being a mother is the single best thing in the world!!! I cant imagine not being a MOM!! Youll love it too, and youll be wonderful at it.
Hang in there guys, were almost done!!! I love ya!!
I have so been there, and lived to tell about it. The post about talent the other day made me really think and my one true talent and passion is being mom, but it wasn't always that away. It took over five years to get pregnant with Tommy I watched every body I know have babies and I would be heart broken every time because I couldn't have one. When I finally got pregnant, I then got scared to death because I had taken clomid and I felt like maybe God didn't won't me to be a mom and I was really gonna suck at it or else I was gonna hate being someones mom. I was scared to death of labor and delievery, I had already had two surgerys when I was 19 and they had hurt and at my gall bladder surgery I had yelled and screamed when I came out of recovery, my whole family was there and the idoits laughed at me. So I really thought birth would kill me. I was so wrong, It was probably the coolest thing that had ever happened to me, the only thing that was better was the fact that I got to keep that cute little fellow and bring him home with me.
The neat thing about being married for so long before kids is the baby will just become an extinsion of the love you have for each other. When the baby is a few months old just be sure and get a sitter every month or so and spend some mommy and daddy time. You will find that even though you and dh don't have as much private time together, yall will cherish the time you do have more than you ever have before.
Panic attacks, I know what you mean I had them for years. First don't try to remember everything you need to do or what you want to do. Make list of all the things you are worrying about, then it is on paper and you don't worry about forgetting anything. Just keep your list where you can get to it and add as much as you need to. I know what you are doing, you are laying in bed at night and catorgrizing what you need to worry about the most. And you are probably doing this over and over. This is not good and there is medicine that can make it alot better. I have been getting treatment for Generlized anxiety and depression since Tommy was born. I actually have had this problem all my life but it got alot worse with pregnancy and then even worse after he was born. Part of it is hormones. Part of it is just being a mom, you already love your baby so much, that you are worried about being good enough for it. I promise you are gonna be super at it.
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<div align="center">Tommy 12, Kaitlyn 9, Ruby and Rose 1</div>
You probably will NOT hate being a mom. I felt like that when I was pregnant with my first... it was constantly in the back on my mind that I would get her home and just be miserable and hate motherhood.
It didn't happen that way. I got her home and literally took right to it. It was hard, yes, because she was (and has since been) very high needs, but something about it just felt... right. Like this total inner calm, peaceful type deal; where something had been missing from my soul before I knew her, and when I met her, it was filled. Even staying up all night long the first week because she couldn't sleep, I was amazed at how... content.. I was, and how she felt so amazing, and smelt so wonderful.
I feel your pain!! i am stressed over everything latley that im going to the doctors on thursday to see if i can get signed off work. Im sure everything will be ok for the both of us once our little bundles arrive.
I have been feeling the same way lately. I've been worrying about money, giving birth, being a good mom, going back to work......I'm also worried I'm going to be lonely...no one my family is having children and none of my friends are even married let alone having babies yet! But I think every mom worries, especially when it's your first and you don't really know what to expect!
I have so been there, and lived to tell about it. The post about talent the other day made me really think and my one true talent and passion is being mom, but it wasn't always that away. It took over five years to get pregnant with Tommy I watched every body I know have babies and I would be heart broken every time because I couldn't have one. When I finally got pregnant, I then got scared to death because I had taken clomid and I felt like maybe God didn't won't me to be a mom and I was really gonna suck at it or else I was gonna hate being someones mom. I was scared to death of labor and delievery, I had already had two surgerys when I was 19 and they had hurt and at my gall bladder surgery I had yelled and screamed when I came out of recovery, my whole family was there and the idoits laughed at me. So I really thought birth would kill me. I was so wrong, It was probably the coolest thing that had ever happened to me, the only thing that was better was the fact that I got to keep that cute little fellow and bring him home with me.
The neat thing about being married for so long before kids is the baby will just become an extinsion of the love you have for each other. When the baby is a few months old just be sure and get a sitter every month or so and spend some mommy and daddy time. You will find that even though you and dh don't have as much private time together, yall will cherish the time you do have more than you ever have before.
Panic attacks, I know what you mean I had them for years. First don't try to remember everything you need to do or what you want to do. Make list of all the things you are worrying about, then it is on paper and you don't worry about forgetting anything. Just keep your list where you can get to it and add as much as you need to. I know what you are doing, you are laying in bed at night and catorgrizing what you need to worry about the most. And you are probably doing this over and over. This is not good and there is medicine that can make it alot better. I have been getting treatment for Generlized anxiety and depression since Tommy was born. I actually have had this problem all my life but it got alot worse with pregnancy and then even worse after he was born. Part of it is hormones. Part of it is just being a mom, you already love your baby so much, that you are worried about being good enough for it. I promise you are gonna be super at it.[/b]
So well said. . A baby brought us closer. We were married 6 years before Owen and still just stare at him and can't believe what a perfect decision he was.
Birth worries? We all got here, didn't we? Those of us who already have kids are having more, right?
Bad mom worries? Ours aren't perfect and we love them and we are all still here, right?
Panic attacks? Please tell Dr. about this. They can help and they are not good for baby or you.
Im sure youll be a great mom.
. A baby brought us closer. We were married 6 years before Owen and still just stare at him and can't believe what a perfect decision he was. 
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