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A friend of mine from college lost her 4 month old Saturday morning. I am still quite in shock over all of this. If you could spare a prayer or two, I would appreciate it. Here is an email I received with the information...I am just going to quote it as it is easier than trying to retell the story.
Quote:
Leslie and Gary gave Julia a bottle around 9AM. At around 9:30, Gary was doing stuff around the house, and Leslie laid on the couch with Julia. They both fell asleep. Apparently, about 20 minutes later or so, Leslie woke up and realized that Julia's lips were blue. She screamed for Gary's help, and he started CPR, because she wasn't breathing. They noticed that she had spit up a little on Leslie's chest, which is why they will PROBABLY find out that she spit up some milk, and then choked on it. It is kind of like "breathing it back in" or drowning in the liquid. Anyway, they panicked, so they got in the car and raced to the hospital.....THEY GOT PULLED OVER because of speeding. They pulled over to the side of the road and Gary ran to the cop, asking for help. The cop called the ambulance, fire dept, etc. who all came quickly. They put her in the ambulance and tried to revive her, but by then it was too late. I heard that they let Leslie hold her for an hour in the ambulance, and then the medical examiner came there, too, and took the baby away. Then they drove Leslie straight to the ER where they gave her drugs and stuff. I also heard (because it's the law) that CPS and the police had to go through and investigate the house. After that, they just went home. Just like that.... it was done... and now they are just home. Sorry that my email is so angry and frustrating, but I"m seriously sooooooo pissed right now. Emily said that when she went over to the house, Leslie was saying that "My baby choked, and i didn't hear her, so I couldn't save her." That right there is what is heartbreaking. i can't even imagine what Leslie is feeling right now. I think everyone is shocked, but this is just not fair. I know everyone wanted to know what happened, but I think this is probably pretty accurate information. I know the a autopsy will also give better information. Perhaps they'll find out that she had something wrong with her? Maybe not? I"m not sure. I don't know what else to say.[/b]
I'm so sorry. That is so awful I can't even imagine what they are going through right now. That has to be every parents worst nightmare. My prayers will be with them and you.
I am so sorry to hear that. How heartbreaking and just devastating. I will definitely keep your friends and you in my thoughts and prayers. There just aren't words to provide the comfort they need. (((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))
__________________
Michelle & Mark parents to Alex and Bonus Daughter - Amanda
Thanks ladies. It is just so darn sad. I haven't seen her in probably 5 years (doesn't seem that long), so I never even met her daughter. Things like this just really hit home now. There was a front page article in the paper this weekend that I couldn't even get past the headline without crying. It was a story about a momma knowing that her child had a fatal birth defect at 19 weeks pregnancy and carried it to full term to be stillborn. Just so sensitive about these things now.
This is my worst nightmare and they just lived through it. I am completely devistated for them. I am soo sorry for there loss and I will keep them in my T&P's. They need all the love and support they can get.
Truly sorry to hear about your friend, distant or not. I hope she finds the strength to get through the next 5 or so years.
Quote:
They noticed that she had spit up a little on Leslie's chest, which is why they will PROBABLY find out that she spit up some milk, and then choked on it. It is kind of like "breathing it back in" or drowning in the liquid.[/b]
This bugs the crap out of me..... Talk about scaring the heck out of every mother and mother to be on the planet about a baby choking on breastmilk or formula! I don't want to get entirely too graphic here, but I will say enough to hopefully make some of you at ease for when your babies get here. When my son died there was also "spit up" and yes, it looks like milk, but it is not milk, it is well, bile. When you stop breathing, it comes up... it is natural. I would hate to think that someone may freak out thinking this baby "probably" choked on "milk". If that baby was choking, mom most certainly would have heard those hacking coughs. SIDS deaths however are silent, quick and unpreventable. That is my bet here. They are also one of the most difficult ways to lose a child because you never get closure. It took almost two years for us to finally get to the root of Michael's death, but during the year and a half up to that we believed he was a SIDS baby. We did find out the answer to our "why" questions, but many parents of SIDS babies do not and never will if it truly it SIDS. THAT is the hardest part about deaths like this. Part of grieving and coping is knowledge. When you don't have knowledge to the basic question of "Why?" it is a nightmare beyond belief. My heart breaks for your friend.
Truly sorry to hear about your friend, distant or not. I hope she finds the strength to get through the next 5 or so years.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE
Quote:
They noticed that she had spit up a little on Leslie's chest, which is why they will PROBABLY find out that she spit up some milk, and then choked on it. It is kind of like "breathing it back in" or drowning in the liquid.[/b]
This bugs the crap out of me..... Talk about scaring the heck out of every mother and mother to be on the planet about a baby choking on breastmilk or formula! I don't want to get entirely too graphic here, but I will say enough to hopefully make some of you at ease for when your babies get here. When my son died there was also "spit up" and yes, it looks like milk, but it is not milk, it is well, bile. When you stop breathing, it comes up... it is natural. I would hate to think that someone may freak out thinking this baby "probably" choked on "milk". If that baby was choking, mom most certainly would have heard those hacking coughs. SIDS deaths however are silent, quick and unpreventable. That is my bet here. They are also one of the most difficult ways to lose a child because you never get closure. It took almost two years for us to finally get to the root of Michael's death, but during the year and a half up to that we believed he was a SIDS baby. We did find out the answer to our "why" questions, but many parents of SIDS babies do not and never will if it truly it SIDS. THAT is the hardest part about deaths like this. Part of grieving and coping is knowledge. When you don't have knowledge to the basic question of "Why?" it is a nightmare beyond belief. My heart breaks for your friend.
[/b][/quote]
Thanks for the info Rae...that does sound like what happened. If I hear more information...will let you all know.
How terrible. I am so sorry for your friends. I hope the mother is able to find some peace in knowing that there was nothing she did wrong; it does sound like a SIDS death which is tragic and rare and there is nothing she could have done differently. They will be in my thoughts and prayers.
__________________
-Steph, distance running mama to
Sidney William 11/07/01
Tessa Cameron 02/12/04
Severin Timothy 11/04/07
Your friend will be in my thoughts and I am so sorry that happened.
<---A little bit about me
Things like this just really hit home now. There was a front page article in the paper this weekend that I couldn't even get past the headline without crying. It was a story about a momma knowing that her child had a fatal birth defect at 19 weeks pregnancy and carried it to full term to be stillborn. Just so sensitive about these things now.
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