[kathleen amber]

Hi I'm Kathleen and I have daughter named Lilah who started school this week and doesn't like it. Today her teacher told my mom (my mom picks her up because I am in school) that Lilah's lunch & snack time were taken away because of her attitude and not listening. Lilah has a very hard time around others she doesn't know. She's very shy and cannot express her emotions like other almost 4 yr olds can. Do anything other mommas go through anything like this? Thanks.

[New_England_Girl]

Hello and welcome! I'm Sara, mommy to Cassidy (almost 4) and Joel (2), expecting #3 in March.

My daughter Cassidy is the opposite of shy, but she does have trouble controlling her attitude and expressing herself effectively. I have a couple of questions for you.

What kind of school are you referring to? Preschool?

I have a problem with the teacher taking away her lunch and snack time Seriously. How is that helping? If Lilah's frustration was triggered by her inability to feel social with the other kids or to communicate, taking away two major times to practice socializing seems inappropriate.

Were you able to discuss with Lilah why she lost her cool? Perhaps if she has difficulty expressing herself, like my daughter, she felt that no one was listening to her, which only makes it worse. Especially if the teacher only punished her for the attitude. Every 4-year-old has a terrible attitude sometimes

Do Lilah's teachers understand her needs? As in, will they take the time to help her communicate? I've seen teachers on both ends of that spectrum: some take the time to really focus on the child and try to ascertain her needs, and some will just ignore the issue and try to sweep it under the carpet, so to speak. Sometimes the size of the class has a lot to do with this.

I hope you and Lilah can get this figured out soon! It's so hard for a child to feel like they don't fit in, or to feel inadequate with no way to express it

[SilverRose]

When you say taking away her lunch and snack time, the teacher did atleast let her eat right? My daughter loves other kids, so I agree with what Sara said. I think you should talk to the teacher though. See if you can figure something out with him/her to help your daughter feel more comfortable.

PS. Your daughters name is cute!

[kathleen amber]

She's just started in JK at public school. The teacher has told me she believes that Lilah is going to thrive but still.. she is having trouble. Everyday something is being taken away if not lunch, then story time, recess or anything that Lilah would enjoy. She acts out because she is unable to express her emotions around those she doesn't know. I've explained to the teacher that she is extremely shy and very uncomfortable and it will most likely be that way for months. It takes her a long time to adjust. I just feel so sad for her. I am hoping things start looking up soon! Her first 2 weeks of school have been hard on all of us. She has had one good day so far, but am happy to say there has been one happy day