[~Annissa~]

So DH and I have been talking a lot about how I've been feeling sad lately. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we have NOBODY around here. The closest family is nearly 3 hours away and we're not super close to them.
I really NEED to be closer to people I know and love for support and just time together. Our dilema comes in at how to go about that though. DH is in the Navy currently and has recently run into some issues that will keep him from advancing further in his Navy career. In fact he has the option to get out as soon as September/October. The scary part there is obviously with the way our economy is right now how easily he would find a job to support the family in the area we are looking to move to.
He could stay in and *try* to get relocated closer to family, but that could take up to a year.

The military is secure as far as paycheck/medical things like that, but unless things change for DH he doesn't have much of a future with it anyway and I really can't cope with the idea of being stuck here for another year or more.

So,...wwyd? Take a chance and be closer to family or be secure and possibly miserable for several months to a year where you are?
The only other option is to go alone with the kids and I do not want to break up our family like that for who knows how long.
I really need some help/input from people outside the situation. Thanks ladies!

[Astrid]

This is really a tough situation to be in. Todd & I decided quite a while ago that Houston would be our home no matter what, at least until his parents pass away b/c we want to be close to family. We both grew up w/ virtually no relatives besides immediate family. Mine is in Argentina & his in PA. We want our kids to have their grandparents & uncle around. So, for us, it is super important to have family near by. Now, after his parents pass away, we may consider moving closer to where my parents will be retiring. Besides, it is dirt cheep to live up there. We would only have to build a house.

Now, w/ your situation, things are a bit different. I know that the military can move you anywhere & that the income/med benefits are secure. Honestly, w/ the economy the way it is unless your hubby has a for sure job where you want to live, I would stick it out for another year. I know it is going to be hard but moving w/o job security is a big risk. Now, if you guys could manage to save enough $ to cover like 3 mths w/o a job, then go for it but if your situation is anything like ours, saving any $ at this point is very difficult. At the same time, I understand the importance of family. If you cannot find happiness w/o moving then there is no amount of money that will help you out. In that case, I would go ahead & move.

I don't think I helped at all! I'm sorry!

[~Annissa~]

Thanks Astrid! I guess I should have added that there is a severance pay that would easily cover 3 months of no work. Even after all that I am still hesitant as it's a huge decision. I wish I could know the future, that would make things so much easier.

[Astrid]

Well, the severance pay would def make it more feasible to move. What does your DH think about all this? Does he have a preference?

[~Annissa~]

He thinks he would have no problem finding a job as he's willing to do what ever he needs to. He seems to be ok with the idea of moving, the only thing he's said is he feels like he is "quitting" on the Navy. He's great at what he does and an incredibly hard worker, but why stay where you aren't appreciated and can't be promoted for all your hard work??? He really wants to move somewhere to stay though and in the Navy that's near impossible.

[ssweetsara]

That is a tough call. The stability of the Navy these days is nice. I think i would wait it out and see if he can be transfered. That is just me. Now if you are truely unhappy then i say go for it!

[koakoba]

Well, I've always been a bit of a risk taker, so keep that in mind, but I'd move. If you have money to cover for a bit, and you'd be going closer to family, I'd say that is where you should be. This is coming from a person who could not live without her family (even the ones that drive me nuts). I think if it's what your heart wants, and you are not silly about it (i.e. have an emergancy plan, family that would take you in etc) then do it.

[SavannahMom]

That's a really tough call, and I can somewhat relate. DH and I don't have any family close by either. All of my family live in Denmark and his family live in Georgia (we live in Texas). All of the friends he grew up with (who are like family to him and would drop everything to help at a moment's notice - VERY good friends) are in Louisiana, so also pretty far away. And it's tough. I so wish that we could get in the car, drive an hour or two and be at my parents house, but that unfortunately isn't so. We both enjoy our jobs a lot and there is a future for both of us where we are, so it is a good place for us to be. He isn't too close to his family, and there's a lot of drama with their family relationships, so we wouldn't move to be close to them. We'd both love to be close to his friends (and their parents who are like family to him as well) in Louisiana, but we both degree that New Orleans isn't a good place for us to raise a family (plus, there aren't any jobs for him there). SO... here we are.
But enough about my story... I think maybe if I were in your situation I'd lean towards moving, IF the severance pay will cover you and you think he's likely to find a job in three months. If you're feeling miserable and lonely, that might be the best solution. It's important to have support around you if you're feeling lonely. And if the place you'd be moving to is a good place to raise a family and you think you'd be happier there, it might be worth the risk. But I do understand your dilemma about DH's job situation. I guess what you need to do is sit down and together weigh all the options. Write down the pros and cons of each option and see which option has the most pros.
Good luck with everything. Keep us posted along the way on what you decide.

[MaddiesMama]

When does he have to give notice that he'd take the option to opt out (is the Navy doing voluntary separations like the AF is?)? Maybe he could try looking for a job in the meantime and try to get some feelers out there for how the job market is for whatever type of job he's looking for? Personally I'd be leary with the economy even with the severance pay, but I'm not a risk taker at ALL either. It's really about how much risk you're willing to take. It could work out beautifully or it could backfire and leave you scrambling. I don't even consider the military to be job security, they tried to boot my husband with an involuntary separation a couple of years ago. I think it would be great for you to move back home closer to family if that makes you happier. And it will be nice to have the support especially with the kiddo. Good luck and let us know what you decide.

[~Annissa~]

Thanks ladies! It's definitely something we will continue to talk about and weigh the pros and cons of. While it's something I *really* want to do I am being realistic about the effects it could have on us and that's why I am leary. I agree Tonya the military isn't real security they tried to boot DH a few years back too. I guess once you've lived one way for so long (nearly 9 years now) it's hard to imagine any other way.

I will keep you all posted on our decision for sure. I'm praying we make the right one!