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How has your relationship been with your friends since you've been pregnant, especially the ones without children?
I have kept close with a friend who has a 6 month old, but alot of my other friends just don't get it .
One of my BFF (we have been close friends for almost 12 years!) really hasn't gotten it - I was excited bc we had a made a plan to go see Sex in the city on Saturday night with a group of girls and to get dinner before hand and then they were going to go out afterwards but I wasn't bc it'd be late and the places are smokey.
So here I am excited about going, thinking that I can actually hang out with everyone since usually they are just going to bars/clubs that are too smokey for me.
Well she called me that evening and said that everyone couldn't make it to the 8:20 movie that everyone already bought tickets for so they were going to the 10pm one. Well I was not very happy about that at all, and said how much that stunk bc I have a hard time even staying awake that late!
DH really didn't want me to go bc that meant I'd be downtown late at night and then going to my car late bc they'd be staying out after the movie.
But I went anyways and call them as I'm driving there and asked if they were sure we'd have enough time to get dinner at the sushi restaurant since it's already 9pm and the movie was at 10?
Then my friends says, "well the movie isn't at 10, it's at 10:50." - --- I was soo upset at this point that I really wanted to cry - I mean how freaking inconsiderate can you be??
They just don't get it, and it's so upsetting.
Parker Hudson 11/1/08 8.14, 22.5" Frank Breech Csection/Kennedy Eve 11/18/10 9lb, 21" Natural VBAC
My closest friends are my sisters and they are so excited....they want to feel my belly all the time and pick out cute clothes for me to show my bump....they will be at the hospital when I deliver. Hubby and I's group of friends understand too b/c their wives are all having babies or have new babies....so the men know that they sometimes have to work around the women.
It's nice to have a group of friends at the same "level" as you are when it comes to having kids.
I have a few friends that are single and not preggo...they are excited for me and are a good group of girls but I just hang out with them during the appropriate times.
Sorry your friends are such brats about it....I would think that if they are close friends that they would be happy for you and want to spend time with you, even if that means time outside of the norm. I do not, however, expect others to change their lives just b/c I'm preggo.
yeah it's kinda weird when you're the first one in your group having kids. most of the people i talk to now have kids, but I have already been a mom for 6 years. when I got pregnant with my first it was awkward and I lost some of the closeness that I'd had with some of my friends. it sucks, but most of the time, they really just don't understand. they aren't trying to be inconsiderate, but they aren't going above and beyond to try and think of you either.
homebirthing, tandem nursing, cosleeping, babywearing, picky vaxing, cloth diapering Christian doula mama
My best friend from high school is really supportive and excited about the baby. I also have a really good friend who is also preggo so she's excited.
My one friend who I thought would be excited for me never calls me anymore. I thought she would at least check in every few weeks to see how I was doing but I get nothing from her. I guess we're just at different points in our lives.
I'm sorry about your friends Katrina. Some people really just don't get it at all and are so inconsiderate. I hope it didn't ruin the movie for you
Things have been fine here. I have three friends who just had babies- so thats nice to have them. I have two close friends who do not have children (and are not even in serious relationships) and they are SUPER excited for me. My one friend (from HS) has been really the best- and has been already helping us out with things here and there (we had to put some stuff in storage so she came down with her dad's truck and helped us move it all since I cannot to heavy lifting- it was GREAT!).
I really only have a few good friends left now a days and they are all great so far!!
Thank goodness I'm at the age where most of my friends are settling down and aren't really going out all that much. I was pretty much abandoned by most of the gals I thought were my friends when I was preggo with my first. It can be hard to deal with. A true friend will respect your pregnancy and include you in their activities. Of all of my friends during my first pregnancy, I keep in touch and am close to only a handful of them. I have even had one friend apologize for the ugly comments she made after I had my first baby about how she wanted to spend time with me, not the kid. That was the end of our friendship. Love me, love my kid. My kid is me.
Now, I am pretty settled have wonderful friends who are out of party mode and love to just come by and hang out, cook watch a movie, whatever. Good thing, because for some reason I become a hermit while I'm pregnant! I just want to nest at home. I have no desire to do anything really except take care of myself and my family. Funny how pregnancy affects some people...
The problems with my friends started when I got married and moved away. I have no other high school or college friends that are married so things began to change over 2 1/2 years ago when I got engaged. Since we live in a different town now I don't see my old friends as much but of the new friends I've made here 2 are pregnant as well, one due in Sept, the other due Nov. 6th so I am really excited. They are both in their 30's and I am only 24 but I have found that we are at the same places in our lives and because I chose to marry and start a family at a young age there won't be a lot of other 24 yr olds doing the same thing as me.
I would recommend meeting some new people who are at the same place, maybe that means they will be older than you, my mom has always told me that her good friends started through her kids because they had that in common. As you get older and have a family they become your #1 priority and you will want your friendships to value that as well.
MEG, mama to Blake (11/18/08) and Hudson (08/11/10)
I've pretty much made all new friends since we started having kids. My DH and I married early, too... so most of my friends did not start having kids at the same time as me either. One of my very best friends from hs I thought would be totally excited about my pregnancy with #1, but she didn't talk to me but maybe twice the whole time I was preggo... and that was me calling her. Then I called her to let her know I had the baby, and that was it. I was so upset and disappointed about it. I called her several times after that and she never answered or returned my calls. I finally talked to her right before I found out I was pregnant this time and she told me that she had been very depressed b/c she was having a hard time TTC, and she just couldn't talk to me or be around me b/c I had kids and she didn't. She apologized for the way she behaved and said she'd call me the next week and we would get together... she had never even seen my kids before. That week came and went without a call and here I am 17 weeks pregnant now. I'm leaving the ball in her court... if she wants to be friends, it's on her. I've done my part.
That said... most of my friends from college are starting to have kids now... so we are reconnecting now and it is pretty exciting.