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Ok so my dad's side of the family still doesn't know I'm pregnant. All I have to do, really, is just tell my grandma and she'll tell everyone else. How the heck do you tell them? If I tell my grandma she's more than likely going to have me tell my grandpa. What do you say to a man who told you that you were going to sell your body and drugs on the street to support your kid? I had no trouble telling them with Nik because I was staying at their house and my grandma bought me the pregnancy test.
What do I say? "Hi, I'm fine, Nik is fine and walking, I'm dating a Seabee now, oh by the way I'm 22 weeks pregnant and it looks like a girl"? Help!
I would just tell them the truth, like you said. If their not happy, then let me be. Sometimes it takes time for family members to "adjust" to anouther pregnancy. I am in the same situation as you, except I have 2 boys & prego with anouther boy. My parents didn't take my pregnancy too hard, but my x boyfriend's family took it hard. Just let it out & it will get much easier to deal with. good luck!!
No one on my side of the family knows I'm pregnant, but I try to avoid them because they're what you could call "toxic". My plan is to one day, inevitably cross paths (you know it will happen) and TA DA! I'll have a kid with me!
Sorry, I'm no help. I just think that if people are going to be that mean to you , you should have as little to do with them as possible. Why should family get a free pass just because they are family? They should be the ones to love you and care for you MORE than everyone else.
Gosh, I'm sorry to hear you haven't shared the news with your family. It's supposed to be such a fun and exciting time. I would just tell them, or tell your grandma if you think you'd be more comfortable telling her and see where things go from there. It sounds like they may need some time to "adjust" as Amanda said so maybe after you tell them they'll be more supportive. The longer you wait the harder it probably is, and it's obviously on your mind. You'll feel good just to get it off your chest.
My situation shares some similarities; I told my immediate family, let them tell my uncle (who I felt bad for because he lives alone and was recovering from cancer), and he went and told everyone (heh, the *one* time he didn't act like a hermit). Needless to say, I was not happy. That was MY news. Even though my family didn't react to it very well. I kept getting "well-meaning" relatives trying to tell me to stay in school and let someone else take care of my baby. Mind you, these were people who I see maybe 3 times a year. I love how everyone thinks they have a say in what goes on in my life.
I may be in the minority, here, but I wish I could go back and not tell them. I'd only tell my immediate family, and even then, I'd worry I was doing the right thing (my immediate family includes two aunts, one of whom is VERY bitter and negative, attributed to the fact that she never got married and/or had children). It's brought negativity to what should be a happy and special time in my and my husbands lives. Fortunately, we haven't let it get to us (much), but it hasn't been easy dealing with some of the nasty comments.
If you're worried about what they'd say, maybe you should just hold off on telling them. After all, your emotional well being is more important right now than their "right to know."
that's a tough one...I'm close with both sides of my family...and we had been trying for a year....so we wanted to shout the news from the roof tops! I'm sorry that your grandfather said what he said.....that is just so cold to say about anyone....let alone your own flesh and blood. If you decide to tell them, I hope that they take it well, and if they have any negativity, they keep it to themselves. Obviously you're doing well, and I doubt you've been on the street selling yourself. (((HUGS))) and good luck!!
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Don't worry too much about your Grandpa -- that generation always reacts in an extreme way at first, then they usually calm down and they can be amazingly supportive (he sounds like my Dad, frankly). They can say the most hurtful things, but it's their actions that count. If he's the kind of guy who is going to judge and shun you, then to heck with him - at least he's honest and not saying stuff behind your back without your knowing. How to tell them, I can't say -- do you call or visit and say, it's not the greatest timing, but I'm happy to be having a girl? Or do you want less contact and send out a Hallmark saying "I'm pregnant!"? Either way, better to get it over with than worry about it -- the worrying is generally worse than the reality, provided you have no abusive people involved.
Now another question: should I call and tell them or should I email them? Like send pictures of Nik and then a couple ultrasound pictures saying "and here's your third great-grandchild"? I see them maybe once a year since I live in Mississippi and they live in Arizona.
although it would be easier to e-mail them..I think they might respect you more if you call them. Besides he may not react as badly as you think.
If he does..thats his problem..you are giving him another great grandchild and THAT is a blessing. *HUGS* Good luck hon an KUP!
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