[Just-Jay]

DH is always telling me, "Just ask if you need me." Most of the time when I ask him, "Hey, can you do this for me?" he puts that face on like I'm asking him to walk to the moon. Like I've just asked him to do something that he most certainly isn't capable of.

It's so annoying that 4 days a week I go out of my way to be quiet so he can sleep undisturbed the days he works and all I ask it 1 night of uninterrupted sleep. Nine times out of ten I have to wake him up to ten to DS because he'll consciously turn over and try to ignore his cries.

I'll ask him to clean bottles for me and he'll look at me and say, "Twice in a row?" (We have enough bottles for an entire day without cleaning, I do them 5 days a week!)

Then when he actually is trying to help he has no patience. If DS is fussy he'll try one thing for five minutes and then hand him off to me with a, "I can't deal with him right now." When do I get to do that? When I'm here alone I don't get to 'opt out' of his crying spells. Even if I'm telling him what to do he's yelling at me "IT'S NOT WORKING! TAKE HIM!"

I've tried to talk to him about it and he just denies he does this or gives me the whole, 'I get frustrated too speech'. I've given up.

I feel so alone... I've had my Mom and Dad over each once a week but there is only so much they can do. My Dad had an accident at work and is rehab for his right hand (he sliced his forearm muscle and three tendons in his fingers). My Mom has RA so some days her hands hurt her a lot. This morning after I laid DS down in his crib to sleep (he was fussy AGAIN) and DH turned up the TV to drown out his cries, the thought crossed my mind... If I'm doing this alone why don't I just BE alone?

I am sorry, that has to be frustrating. I have only had one night of uninterupted sleep-3 weeks ago for my birthday. Other than that, my DH sleeps thru the crying or gets up grumpy.

I dont know what to tell you, I hope that he will step up soon. If you need to vent, feel free to PM me.

[::er!ca::]

Having a newborn is very stessful, for both parents. And when a parent is stressed out, the baby can sense that.... so if your DH would try to take a deep breath and relax while carring for the baby, the baby might calm down as well.

I know what you're going through, I've been there myself. It's hard.

I hope things get better for you. We're always here if you need to talk.

[~Allison~]

Sorry you're having a rough time. I haven't had a night of uninterupted sleep. DH is a sound sleeper, so he doesn't hear Aaden. The only time he knows I'm up with him is when I get back in bed after making a bottle. He asks if I need anything, and after I tell him no, he rolls over and goes back to sleep. There are sometimes he'll feed him and let me catch a few minutes of sleep, which I appreciate.

[Lovemykiddos!]

I know how you feel, I haven't had even 1 night of uninterrupted sleep yet....DF made such a big deal about how he wanted to be able to feed the baby (since he wasn't allowed to with his exwife) so I spent the first 2 weeks pumping and whatnot....it lasted for maybe a week and a half.....now all I get is a big sigh and "I guess if you just can't do it then I will" when I ask him to do anything for her and he DEF doesn't do anything at night for her....even when last night she didn't even go to bed till 3 am....he woke up at 2 and had the nerve to ask why I was awake....ummm let me think cuz I feel like being dead tired tomorrow of course!!

anyways if you want to talk with someone who is going through it as well feel free to PM me!

[Lovemykiddos!]

I know how you feel, I haven't had even 1 night of uninterrupted sleep yet....DF made such a big deal about how he wanted to be able to feed the baby (since he wasn't allowed to with his exwife) so I spent the first 2 weeks pumping and whatnot....it lasted for maybe a week and a half.....now all I get is a big sigh and "I guess if you just can't do it then I will" when I ask him to do anything for her and he DEF doesn't do anything at night for her....even when last night she didn't even go to bed till 3 am....he woke up at 2 and had the nerve to ask why I was awake....ummm let me think cuz I feel like being dead tired tomorrow of course!!

anyways if you want to talk with someone who is going through it as well feel free to PM me!

[stacyp]

((Hugs)) I have to ask my DH for help. It gets annoying. I am so sorry you are going through this.... having a newborn is stressful enough.

[luvmyladybugs]

Yeah, we're going through some tough things like this as well. It's off and on and that's so frustrating. One day, my DH is on and the other he's wayyyyy off and I get so mad b/c I feel I have so much on my plate as I'm adjusting to having two kids now. Some days I feel like I'm not doing so well. I can't find time to eat, take showers, or do anything for myself. DH is such a sound sleeper that I can literally scream to the top of my lungs with him sitting just one foot away from me and he will not hear me. We actually got into an argument last night b/c he wouldn't wake up to help me and give me a break for a bit (Madison has colic I believe and can cry all night long). He tells me "just wake me up if you need me" and then when I do he won't wake up. So, I know the feeling of doing this alone!!!!! It's rough!

[homemakermommy]

Men are so difficult sometimes. I hope he steps up to the plate soon and you can get a break. My dh works 4 nights a wk so he's off 3 nights. Guess how many he gets up with baby???? Yep a big fat 0. It's frustrating and we've been bickering more the last two wks than we have our whole relationship. With 3 other kids I am exhausted and worn down. My dh has had an earache for the last couple days from sticking qtips too far into his ear, he's been to the doctors twice for it now. All he does is whine about his ear and act like he can't hardly function. Yet I had a baby and came home to do everything less than 2 days later. Men are such babies.

[~Kris~]

I hope things are less stressful soon.

With our first my husband got up every morning to feed him while I pumped. This time there's no need for him to get up since I can BF this time. He does usually do our 1 bottle feed before bed though so I can pump then.

I try not to ask him to do too much bc he has his hands full with our 3 year old usually (from the minute dad gets home it's all about Daddy!) and he's working and I'm not, so "It's my job".

[^RaineDrop^]

Yuck, I'm so sorry he is being like that.. I'll never understand why men have to be such freaking babies! It's like, I only had one, so what's up with THIS? I think you really just need to slam your foot down and make d@mn sure he knows that you aren't some mommy-droid, he needs to be doing more.. not only for you but for his child. What's fair is fair, that's all either of you can ask for and right now things AREN'T very fair, so speak up! Loudly! lol

i can relate. I do it all by myself with all 3 of my kids. DH helps when I need but I get the same attitude from him, but he does help.

[jag-mama]

So sorry he is acting like that, I can relate. Dh does help with some stuff around the house but at times he can be so frustrating. Like tonight when he went out to the garage and did not take the trash out with his that was so obviously full, so I took it and threw it out the door so he could put it in the garage when he got home. Or some mornings when he gets home from work I have to get the 3 kids and myslef ready and be at ball practie by 9am, i ask him to hold Griffin while I take a shower and he acts like it is just going to kill him. Somedays I have the same thoughts about doing it by myself, that it would probably be easier to be by myself - one less person to worry about, less laundry, cooking etc.

[Banned-hopeful4no1]

all i can say is that i am right there with you TODAY so i have no advice - it just sucks to feel this way - im sorry you are going through it too! hang in there, pm me if you wanna!