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So, I'm planning on having my baby shower August 23rd at my parent's house. My mom is setting it up for me and I'm really excited.
However, my sister is putting a damper on things. She keeps complaining that she can't buy anything for me and she can't come because she has to buy her two sons school clothes. It doesn't make much sense to me because her husband works two jobs and she has a job as well. Her husband makes over $20 and hour on one of his jobs and they're both working full time. They only live ten miles away from my parents' house.
There's seventeen years between us but we've always been close. She did something similar to this for my bachelorette party that was a few months ago.
Everything was set up to have my bachelorette party at her house. She was my maid of honor so she agreed to plan it and pay for most of the stuff. A few days before the party she told me couldn't do it because her husband's birthday was the day after the party was scheduled. So I had to plan my bachelorette party myself, cook all the food, set everything up, and buy everything for it.
I told my mom to just forget about her. I can't change when the baby is due and its her choice if she wants to come.
I would just forget her too. It sounds like she's being a bit unreasonable. Just tell her if she can't afford a gift right now then don't worry about it. She's still welcome to come have fun at the party, but that you won't change the shower date just cause she doesn't want to spend some $$ on a gift.
I would just forget her too. It sounds like she's being a bit unreasonable. Just tell her if she can't afford a gift right now then don't worry about it. She's still welcome to come have fun at the party, but that you won't change the shower date just cause she doesn't want to spend some $$ on a gift.[/b]
The thing with baby showers is this...just because they attend doesnt mean they are obligated to bring you a gift. I would tell her that, and just let her know that she is welcome to join in the festivities, whether she brings something or not.
I hope you can have a great time regardless of your sister's poor behavior. It's really too bad she can't be more excited for you. Just enjoy the day and remember it's about YOU and your LO and not your sister. Good luck!
I think it stinks! She's being unreasonable. She can come and not give you a gift, that's totally fine if money is tight. I agree with the other ladies. Forget her and just be excited for your special day!
Maybe she's a little jealous of the attention you are getting right now, or it reminds her of a stage in her life that is over? I would tell her you'll really miss her, but that if she doesn't want to come, it's okay and then let it go. If you guys are usually close, then this is a weird blip. Some people get weird where weddings and babies are concerned (I know my own parents just went nutso when I got married -- it became all about the state of THEIR marriage and getting older (I think they almost forgot about me and DH).
I think its up to you since there is more behind this particular situation than just this incident. In my opinion though (not knowing your relationship with her very well but just in general) I would explain to her that the meaning behind the shower is a celebration of a new life and welcoming him to the family, NOT necessarily what, if anything, she brought as a gift. If you really want her there, explain to her that you would be happy to have her there just to celebrate with you regardless of her finances etc. But if the relationship is just too rocky right now, then have a great day with or without her and don't let one person ruin your special day.
Well at least this time it's your mom that's planning it, so her canceling at the last minute won't have such a huge impact... I'm with the others on forgetting about her. You'll have a great time, whether or not she comes. Of course, since she's your sister, it'd be great if she were there, but if she doesn't think she can do it, that's her problem, I guess.
I agree with the others - it sounds like she's just making up excuses. I'd just let her know that you'd love for her to come and she'll be missed, but if she isn't able to make it, you understand. ANd then just let it go.
I have a cousin like that. Everything always needs to revolve around her. And she doesn't seem to understand that I'm having a shower for MY BABY and not her. She lives a few hours away (but she travels out here a lot, so the distance doesn't become an issue unless she's not gettoing her way). She;s coming up here to go to a play with my sister the weekend after my shower and she threw a HUGE fit about why can't we have the shower the weekend she's already going to be here so that she doesn't have to drive up 2 weekends in a row. Well, honey, we can't have it that day, because you'll be at the play all day.
Honestly, I think the issue with my cousin is that she's jealous that her baby cousin (I'm the youngest of the grandkids - besides my sister) is married and pregnant before her. Some people just are unable to be happy for others and let their jealousy get in the way. It sounds like your sister may kind of be the same way. I agree with what sepurinamom said - maybe she's just jealous becuase she already has kids and this whole stage in her life is over. Once your a mom, you no longer get to be the center of attention and maybe she's just jealous of all the attention you're getting??
I think she's acting jealous and selfish. Screw her, have a great time and don't let her ruin your fun. If she doesn't want to come so be it. Her loss!
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Sounds to me like someone has money problems... just because her husband makes $20 per hour at one of his jobs doesn't mean they aren't in debt up to their eyeballs - one or both of them might be spendaholics on stuff you don't even know about.
And she doesn't have to buy you a gift just to come to your shower - it's not like there's a cover charge of a wrapped gift involved!
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