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Im an ***** COW. Ive hit my bottom... Ive NEVER in my life been this HUGE and Im so freaking depressed over it. I just spent 2 hours, yep, you read that right- TWO HOURS trying to find something to wear out to dinner with my parents. Everything either doesnt fit, or it just looks SO unflattering. There are just rolls and flab and jiggle and stretch marks everywhere. I cant even cover my ick with a huge sweater. Im just gonna order some mumus and resign myself to total isolation. Im so demotivated, and so afraid to leave my house to do anything about it. Im stressed out all the time, Im eating like crap, Im not exercising at all- and I just cant figure out how to do it all now that Ava is here. Most days, I can barely just function to get the basics done. Im so tired all the time, I just have no energy. I drag myself out of bed as late as possible, drink coffee and take up residence on my couch, dont eat all day until dinner then its like a feeding frenzy till I go to bed- at 3am. Im doing everything wrong, and I know that. But, its been so difficult taking care of Ava and the house and getting dinner on the table- that I just dont have time or energy to get anything else done till Les comes home. Then, its like I play catch up trying to get everything done I couldnt earlier, and get in enough calories to just survive the next day. Im pretty sure Ive gained back all the weight I lost post partum, and I LOOK pregnant again. Its disgusting. Ugh. Sorry to rant and unload here. I just needed to get it all out.
I totally understand what you mean vent away . I wish I had some great advice like you aways do for everyone else. But I'm having a real hard time right now with my diet to and have gained back the 10 pounds I lost. I keep losing my motivation and then I see myself in the mirror and want to do something about it but don't seem to be able to. I'm a little embarassed to go to the doctor and ask for something to supress my appeite sp? but I think alot of it is emotional eating and I'm eating when I'm bored ,lonely, sad , whatever.
I mean everyone know all the tips eat slowly,drink more water, eat less, use a smaller plate, brush your teeth, exercise yada yada yada I wish it was that easy. I'll I can do is offer you a ((HUG)) .
Maybe organize some team challenges or something and we could all compete again each other and offer support too. I don't know but I'm open to anything. Sorry wish I was more help
Going from really independant to having a little one totally dependant on you, is quite overwhelming! Don't beat yourself up! Don't throw in the towel either! Motivation is hard to come by these days! For me it took a breaking point, same thing you were explaining--no clothes that fit. I have a whole dresser full of clothes I used to fit, and like one pair of pants, and a couple of shirts that cover my huge bum. Each day I look at my favorite pair of jeans that I hope some day I'll fit, and that motivates me. Just put everything on this weightloss support board, and it is so cool how everyone's comments makes one accountable! Good luck!!! I pray you feel motivated to get done what you want to!!
(((hugs))) I know how hard it can be. Even with me knowing that my entire career rests on if I lose weight or not, it has taken me a long time to find motivation.
With the lack of energy and such, have you talked to a doctor about it? Two thoughts cross my mind, depression or thyroid issues. Even with thyroid it can cause depression, have you had yours checked?
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When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7 Sail Back to Me
Yep, Ive had my thyroid checked multiple times. Its always been normal, until... Most recently was August (I was having the dizzy/passing out spells post partum) and it was actually borderline HYPERactive... Which makes NO sense to me, AT ALL. I go in another 4 months to have it rechecked.
As for depression- thats a given. I was diagnosed with that when I was 14. BUT, Im on meds for it, which work wonderfully. I had my dose upped post partum to combat PPD too. I havent had any "real" bouts of depression in quite some time.
I honestly think its just adjusting to all the new changes and trying to find a balance in my "new" life. And its been such an emotional roller coaster since she arrived, and such an adjustment- and I dont deal well with change. Im also an emotional eater, and an eater out of boredom. Both things Ive been struggling with a lot lately. And with Les' job being in crisis mode non stop since April- it hasnt helped that he is basically non-existant. He is pretty much my only support system, and "safe" place- so thats been really hard on me too. Its not so much that I care about the excess weight. Ive always been a big girl, and Im used to it- but I was healthy, I was muscular and active and I had great stamina and endurance. I really dont care what other people think about the way I look. What bothers me the most is the feeling sluggish, getting out of breath and tired doing simple things, and worrying about my health and being here to raise Ava. I dont need to be thin, I just want to be healthy and feel healthy again and have the energy to really get out and enjoy my little girl...
Ugh, I know how having DH be non-existent can be a problem. Last year Dave worked 3-11, so I never saw him. I was so stressed all the time.
Have you ever heard of this program? I have a few friends that swear by it, they say it really works. It is low impact and incremental, so you can work your way easily back into being fit, from the comofrt of your living room. I bet Ava would get a kick out of watching you.
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When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7 Sail Back to Me
Wow, Em. I felt like I was reading a post I wrote. I have been so depressed lately. I go back to work Dec 1st, so the countdown is on and I am MAJORLY depressed about this. My boss is an f-in Witch and is going to make my life miserable, so I know what I'm in for.
I am totally DISCUSTED w/the way I look. Do you know what I did the other day?...I am so embarassed...DH doesn't even know....his partner from work was coming over to help him cut wood...well I made sure the house was clean, took a shower, put makeup on, etc. I went to get dressed and I looked like a freakin Moo-Moo COW in EVERYTHING I put on, so I laid in bed and pretended like I had a bad headache b/c I didn't want his partner to see what a cow I look like.
I hate my body and I take it out on DH. I sit around all day and just watch TV. I was doing good a couple of weeks ago, I started weight watchers, lost 2 lbs in one week, even started going on the treadmill. Then this week came and it was down the tube...had my Dad over for dinner for his b-day, had cake, etc.
DH is always gone and that depresses me too.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to be a rant about me...I just see that we seem to be going through some of the same things.
I'm resolving to getting back on track again tomorrow. Let me know if you want to buddy up again.
Wow, Em. I felt like I was reading a post I wrote. I have been so depressed lately. I go back to work Dec 1st, so the countdown is on and I am MAJORLY depressed about this. My boss is an f-in Witch and is going to make my life miserable, so I know what I'm in for. 
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