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So since i was pregnant with Charlie, Dh and i have been going back and forth about what we want. Ok lets rephrase that, Charlie didnt want anymore, and me, well, i went back and forth. lol.
I did not enjoy the last 12 or so weeks of my pregnancy with Charlie. I was in so much physical pain from his positioning, and his large size that i literally would wake up on a nightly basis crying in pain. I couldnt freaking wait for him to be born.
Once he was born, i was tired. Caring for a 2 year old and being pregnant and then having a newborn literally wore me out. i swore then and there that i couldnt do it again, especially not with 2 little ones.
Whenever people would ask Dh and I when/if we would have more, he more than eagerly chimed in that we were DONE. Honestly i felt done too. I love my kids, and i feel blessed to have one of each, and to have them both be very happy and healthy. I do feel very complete right now, but thats not to say tht i couldnt feel complete with another baby in the future as well.
Well the more Dh would talk about how much he didnt want anymore, the more it really made me evaluate my own wants. Dh is 30, pretty much supports us 100% ( my paychecks are spending money and things the kids need/things i want for the kids, lol) and he has 2 kids. i can imagine the stress of it all. But in all honestly, im only 25. I cant see really being done at 25, or even being in a position to make that decision. We both agree that we dont and wont do anything final- vasectamy/tubes tied- and we arent very safe as far as sex goes. So honestly it could happen at any point anyways.
Well a few weeks ago, i finally decided to talk to Dh about it. I told him how i dont think im done and how i do think i want at least one more. Not right now, but somewhere down the road, i want another one. At first i think he was disappointed, he asked me what changed my mind, and i told him that i dont know, that i just cant whole heartedly say that im done.
To think that i would never be able to experience pregnancy or childbirth again makes me incredibly sad to think about.
So there ya have it. You are all back in the loop, lol.
Aw, hon. I think you summed it up in saying that, at this point, you just aren't in a place to make a final decision. I am in the same place; DH is older (like, turning 40 next year!) and I think for that reason more than any I am fairly certain we ARE done...but at the same time, I'm just not 100% ready to call it that way at only 27. Maybe you guys will end up with another...maybe not. I've done a lot of swinging over the past 2 years and am still as much on the fence as I was when Danny was Charlie's age.
Good luck either way... You sound SO much like where I am at, and where I was at in your shoes, a couple years younger with my babies a couple years younger too.
I think that sounds like a good place to be I totally understand (well not quite yet, give me a few months) the idea of thinking you are done - I think we are now. Now that we will have 1 of each and we always wanted 2 kids if possible...but we're both still not even 30 so the idea of making any PERMANENT decisions is just not going to happen. I couldn't do that either, put a definite end to our reproductive years so soon. So I think you're making a good choice
We went through that too, Shannon. A period where I was sure I was done (more so because I didn't want to have surgery again) but the thought of not going through pregnancy, trying for a vbac ect really made me sad.
I can't say for sure, but maybe being "done" is just one of those things you KNOW for sure...and I'm sure at some point you'll know in your heart when you're truely done. Weather that's 2 babies...or 6 lol.
Shaun and I are the same way, we are going to try again in January for #2, and Shaun keeps saying that he is going to get 'snipped' the day after I deliver. I am not ready to say that I am done after 2 and if I am actually honest with myself, I really want 3. All that said, I will be 32 in December and don't want to be having children much past 35......
It sounds like you are doing the right thing. I know a couple who have been trying for 2 years after a vasectomy reversal - and they're still trying. It's tough. I think you are right to wait until you know 10000% that this is it and you can sleep at night knowing you made the right decision.
Aw, Shannon! I am glad you talked it through. So what did DH say, is he a bit more open to having another baby sometime in the future? A lot of the time I feel the same way as you do, except my DH is VERY open to having more kids, lol.
At first DH was dissapointed in my decision. I could tell just by his questions. But he was at work, and i guess one of his bosses told Charlie that he wished they hadnt stopped at 2. So i think that made Charlie reevaluate things as well, and he hasnt been totally upset about it anymore.
Like i said, im not wanting one soon. I dont even want to even think about it until Charlie is about 2, and even then it might be a few more years. I dont want them super far apart, but i dont want 20 months apart again!! lol
Yeah, I think 20 months ( or 18 in my case ) is difficult in the beginning, but I honestly think it gets so much easier now that mine are 2 and 3.5... That age gap shrinks as they get older, if that makes sense. So that kinda makes me not want to wait too long either, but the thought of 3 is so scary at the same time!