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Last night at dinner time we were talking about a friend child who just turned 5. Ryan said it looks like 4 would be the age I enjoy. I can't wait until the boys turn 4. (He hates the kids at this age, loves playing but he hate how Aiden is acting... normal for a 2 year old). He then continues and tells he me he want to get try for number 3 NOW.... and get it out of the way instead of waiting.
I was shocked and so not ready for another one yet. I tell him Preston just turned a year so he reminds me that Aiden was younger when we were pregnant with Preston.
I also remind him that i need a job, that we can't afford another one yet, we have 2 mortgages and working on building a house. Of course he reminds me that our renter are paying our mortgages. He doesn't like to think of the negative when the renters move out and we can't find other renters for a while. He has always been like this...
We ended our conversation with that. Its been on my mind all night but I'm just not ready for another one right now.
As I think about this I know we are not ready. I'm not even bring it up again unless he decide to talk about it again. We can't have another child in this house--too small... I want our house built and moved in before we start planning... we gave away all the baby items so we would have to buy them again, I would rather wait a little bit. I need to lose weight before I get pregnant again. and the biggie.. I need more help with the house and boys if we decide on trying for a 3rd. Right now its not a big deal because I'm not working or in school... kids are in daycare and he works. So I don't mind doing everything now but when i get a job. I need help.
It sounds like waiting is probably the best thing. He probably just doesn't realize the things you are pointing out. If he brings it up again I would simply tell him that you are not ready for another one at this point and state your reasons again. Good luck! I hope he listens to what you say and backs off until you are both ready.
What did he mean by "and get it out of the way"? The younger years?
not sure if this will make sense...
He hate the infant ages. He loves the children but he only likes to play with them and not deal with the crying and waking up, tantrums. You know the fun stuff...
He wants 3 so he believes If we just have the children now, we will be out of the infant stage sooner. We would be out of the stage he hates. He want the children to play board games, sports and video games and right now we are not there. We have fun with the boys now but its not what he want.
Did this make any sense? Ryan has a weird way of thinking and a lot of the time I don't understand him. Most of the time he will not listen to me unless someone else tells him the same thing that isn't married to him.