I can't leave Brendan for 2 days!

*Leonara* · #1 November 5th, 2010, 06:55 PM

I know this is soooo far away and Brendan will grow a lot within 9 months, but this hasn't changed for me since the day he was born, but when I have this baby I cannot leave Brendan over night for TWO nights!!!! I trust my husband and all, but I doubt he'll be able to take off two consecutive work days. My mom and his mom are great grandparents but not my first choice for his caretaker for two days. What do I do?! I am considering a home birth because of this! I will be a worried freak when this day comes

Maybe he will be more independent when this time comes?

laisydaisymama · #2 November 5th, 2010, 09:10 PM

have the baby at home, he can hold your hand

Claire slept right through Cade's birth and woke up to a new baby brother!

isolt · #3 November 5th, 2010, 10:01 PM

That was one reason we opted for homebirth. Fletcher also slept through it and woke up 5 mins after Ev was born. I don't even think I had delivered the placenta yet.

Mod-navywifey2003 · #4 November 5th, 2010, 10:10 PM

This is another reason we are choosing HB for our next one.

aydensmama1 · #5 November 6th, 2010, 07:28 AM

Since joining here I have opened my mind to a HB much more.

Just had to get that little tib bit out. I felt the SAME exact way when I was pregnant for Elliana. I had never left AYden overnight or really for long periods of time at all. He was my pride and joy (well he still is) and just thinking of leaving him made me cry. THe closer I grew to my due date the more apprehensive I got about leaving Ayden.

When I did have Elli I had my parents bring Ayden to the hospital. I cried most of the time he was up there b/c I knew he was leaving me and going home for the night w/out me. The doc couldn't even ask me about Ayden w/out me bawling. I remember telling Mike that I just wanted to get home so I could have my babies together. It was heartbreaking for me but Ayden did GREAT! He was with his grandma who he loves (at our house) and had a blast with her.

I tell you this b/c if you do plan to deliver in the hospital I think it would be smart for you to leave Brendan a night before you have the baby. Maybe rent a hotel with hubby and have a night out with Brendan at home with a sitter/grandma. I wish I would have done this before having Elli. Leaving him the first time really did make it easier the second time b/c I didn't have the anxiety that I had the first time.

You hubby loves Brendan and therefore will take great care of him while you are focusing on the new baby.

Hugs lady, I serioulsy know how you feel. It was the hardest thing in the world but now that we have left Ayden overnight with gma a few times it is wonderful and he loves it! And if you do have a homebirth then good for you

JessieJean · #6 November 6th, 2010, 08:13 AM

I guess I'm the odd one because I was excited to have the new baby and be in the hospital...I told everyone that it would be like a 2 day vacation!!

Maybe it helps that I work outside of the home? So when the girls were 3 months old, I was routinely leaving them for 9 hours a day. And I loved the HUGE smiles that would come to their faces when I came home.

The other thing I enjoyed about being in the hospital is that it gave me the bonding time I needed with just Elli. Yes, I thought about the big girls ALL the time while I was there! BUT, if I had been at home, then I would inevitably get wrapped up in playing with them, changing their diapers, feeding them meals, etc. I needed the time I had alone with Elli to get to know her. So for 48 hours, I got to focus just on her. Her sisters wouldn't have allowed that if I had been home.

So yes, leaving them was hard. I thought about them a lot. But Elli also deserved HER own time. So for me, that was what worked. And I don't have any regrets.

myfavoriteshoes · #7 November 6th, 2010, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by navywifey2003

This is another reason we are choosing HB for our next one.

Ditto!

EVY&EGYsMommy · #8 November 6th, 2010, 08:50 AM

I just recently left E for the first time over night EVER and it was for two nights and it was totally fine! She was fine and I as fine. She stayed with my in laws (whom she knows VERY well). If you do the hospital...I would decide who will take him and do at least one (if not two) little trials runs before baby comes...like one night at a time.

Like Jess in some ways I am looking forward to the hospital stay for the bonding time. And I remember the days in the hospital with E went SO fast for me...I am sure it will go by quickly again.

I will MISS HER like crazy but I feel fine about it now since we have done it once already

*Leonara* · #9 November 6th, 2010, 10:09 AM

Well, if Brendan was super close to my mom or shawns mom I wouldn't have as hard of a time with it. The fact is though, that he's not. Shawn's mom is more wrapped up with her daughter's kids, plus Shawns dad is a raging alcoholic so I don't feel comfortable leaving Brendan there over night. I'd ask her to stay at our house, but I am not sure if she's willing. My mom is always wishy washy, can never truly rely on her.

I've been interested in homebirths, but how do I go about that? How do I find a midwife in my area who will do this? I had a midwife with Brendan but she only delivered in the hospital, I think.

Crys · #10 November 6th, 2010, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessieJean

I guess I'm the odd one because I was excited to have the new baby and be in the hospital...I told everyone that it would be like a 2 day vacation!!

Maybe it helps that I work outside of the home? So when the girls were 3 months old, I was routinely leaving them for 9 hours a day. And I loved the HUGE smiles that would come to their faces when I came home.

The other thing I enjoyed about being in the hospital is that it gave me the bonding time I needed with just Elli. Yes, I thought about the big girls ALL the time while I was there! BUT, if I had been at home, then I would inevitably get wrapped up in playing with them, changing their diapers, feeding them meals, etc. I needed the time I had alone with Elli to get to know her. So for 48 hours, I got to focus just on her. Her sisters wouldn't have allowed that if I had been home.

So yes, leaving them was hard. I thought about them a lot. But Elli also deserved HER own time. So for me, that was what worked. And I don't have any regrets.

not odd at all. I ditto the whole thing.

I will have Carson up at the hospital to visit and meet his new brother but that will be after he comes. He will stay with my parents for two days until I am home & I am not even worried about it. He goes out there alot and spends time with them & I trust my mom & dad completely with him. Every situation is different though

laisydaisymama · #11 November 6th, 2010, 10:57 AM

The North American Registry of Midwives

*Leonara* · #12 November 6th, 2010, 11:45 AM

Thanks Ginni!!

Jax2008 · #13 November 6th, 2010, 12:02 PM

Blake is super close to my in laws and parents so he stayed with them and was fine! Plus we were only gone for 24 hours. I am much better with leaving Blake now that Hudson is around. I enjoy my time with just the baby and Blake feels extra special when he spends time with his Mimi and Poppy alone. I let him eat cookies over there, stay up late and just have so much fun! Make is super special for him and it will be no problem. You will cry after the baby is here and when he comes to visit you, at least I did but it is emotional not just having one baby anymore.

I guess I'm a CRAZY parent b/c DH and I are going to South Beach and on a cruise for 10 days and leaving both boys. We aren't going until August 2011 but we are looking forward to it!

*Leonara* · #14 November 6th, 2010, 12:16 PM

Meg you aren't crazy are you kidding me lol! I was just at South Beach last week!! When are you going? It is freezing now! Well, like 60 during the day and 50 at night.

But, you aren't crazy, that is an amazing opportunity and you deserve it. I just feel guilty leaving Brendan because he isn't as close to his grandparents like Blake is, ya know?

LifesGood · #15 November 6th, 2010, 12:40 PM

we did a little different I guess.

I have been away from Lore once or twice. Once DH had him and once his parents did. Anyway. I had Hope on a Friday morning. Lore was at regular daycare, causing her to nearly be born in the car lol

larry left us at 3:00pm, did some chores, picked up Lore, had dinner at his parent, visited friends then brought Lore before bed to meet his sister and get a kiss goodnight.

Then Larry took him home and put him to bed, woke up, fed him, played went for a walk and came to visit again.

My thinking was it was already a hard time for him and he was sick, mommy was gone so daddy was THERE. All the time. I was bored and sometiimes wish he was there to help or entertain me but he visited often and people came the next day to visit.

Lore missed me, and asked for me but having daddy all the time was a million times better than anyone else would have been. I just had to prepare myself to be alone

LaurKnotter · #16 November 6th, 2010, 01:23 PM

I'm also odd one out cause I am fine with leaving Aide with grandma for a few days while in the hospital. Ryan and I have left him overnight a few nights for date nights and I have left him for a long weekend while I did a girls trip. I know he will love all of the attention he will get from grandma and it will be good for me to be away especially since I will be recovering from a c-section. I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes and didn't have a grandma that could come stay though.

*Leonara* · #17 November 6th, 2010, 03:41 PM

Yeah, TBH, Shawn will just have to get two consecutive days off. I'm sure he could arrange it somehow. He better

. Because the only person I would feel 100% comfortable with is Shawn or my mom. I haven't even told my mom I am prego yet, so not like I can ask her! (Waiting til 12 weeks to tell everyone). The only thing about my mom is that she is verrrrrry wishy washy, not 100% dependable. But when she is there, she is great.

BTW - How do I get out of the hospital after 24 hours? I thought 48 hours was mandatory?

iheartaddi · #18 November 6th, 2010, 04:12 PM

Well we had good plans in place that kind of fell through. Addison stayed one night at my aunt's house and one night in the hospital with us. She did fine away from us because my mom was there and she had fun with all my cousin's kids. We had to bring her to the hospital although I didn't really want to but it was a fun sleepover for her. I let them take Layton overnight because he had to have some blood drawn and stuff and I hadn't really had any sleep at all the night before.

Obviously with my job and travel, I have no issue with leaving Addison

You'll figure it out though and like a lot of posters have said, take it as time to spend with your new little one to bond because when you get home, you'll also have to take care of Brendan.

*Leonara* · #19 November 6th, 2010, 05:56 PM

I was actually thinking of letting Brendan stay in the hospital, but I think he'd be miserable. He likes to touch everything (lol) and that's a definite no no in a hospital. Ahh but you are so right Kim. I need to give this LO bonding time that Brendan had. I never knew this would be so tough. I am having a little bit of mommy guilt. Like, how can I love someone as much as I love Brendan? I know it sounds silly, but these are the hormonal thoughts I have. I know that I will love my other son/daughter just as much, but it's a 1st time mommy thing I suppose

LisaS · #20 November 7th, 2010, 04:31 AM

Christian was born in the early morning and my water broke after Alie was already in bed. My sister was staying with us at the time, so Alie was already used to seeing her around 24/7 and it was no big deal for her to wake up and have my sister take care of her. We did keep Alie away from the hospital, figuring it'd be harder on her to see us, then have to leave after a few minutes, but since everything went really smoothly, we were only in the hospital for 1 day. Both my OB and our ped gave us the okay to leave after only spending 1 day in the hospital after Christian was born. I checked in at midnight, had the baby at 6AM, then was outta there at 8AM the next day.