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So DH and I went to his urology appointment last week. He has a grade III varicocele which is the worst of the grades. His is visible by the naked eye and you dont need an ultrasound to see it. I was afraid of this after I mentioned to him this was a concern for me and I told him what it would feel like and he said it did so then I felt around and sure enough it felt like what they had taught us in school a varicocele would feel like since I never did a urology appointment and have never actually seen one. So now we only have 2 options to have a 2nd child. We can either have the surgery to fix it or IVF. His count is too low for IUI to be an option. DH is draggin his feet on making a decision. I want him to just fix it. They did say it could take up to a year for his counts to go up which bum me but I really don't want to do IVF because with my job there is no way I could handle twins and the risk of twins with IVF is like 1/4. The cost has no implication on my decision since everything is 100% covered but I would rather just do things naturally. My thought is I want DH to have the surgery, wait the 3 months when the do the follow up SA and if his counts are rising, then continue waiting, if we don't see any change in his counts then will consider IVF and maybe just implant 1 embryo at a time to reduce risk of twins. I just wish now DH would make the decision about what type of surgery he wants so we can schedule it and get it over with.
I am so sorry. I hope you are able to both come to a decision soon, I'm sure it is a lot to think about.
I totally understand your concern of twins & IVF. My DH had very low count and horrible morphology 1% (he also has a varicocele but a small one so they never recommended surgery). We tried on our own, did lots of clomid and injectibles before we did our 2 IVF attempts. There really is so much that goes into doing IVF. The toll it takes on your body and emotions to the chance of a high risk twin pregnancy to what to do with any remaining embryos. I can't imagine making a decision like that very quickly so just give it time and let your DH let it all sink in. I'm sure he will come around in a few days.
I can understand your desire to get a decision made and get the ball rolling, whatever direction you go in. You've been TTC for a while now, and I'd be feeling frustrated as well. As for IVF and twins, my cousin and his wife are expecting two babies in February thanks to this same issue, and I think it's great that you can admit that you really would rather not take the risk of having two babies at once. That would break me, for sure.
I admire you! You have a plan all ready, now your DH just needs to accept it and move on. I'm sure it's hard for him knowing that he's the one with the issue, but it's not his fault and it's fixable! I'm sure he'll come around soon!!!!
I don't think men ever like to hear the problem's on their end...especially if it's not something they can "fix" themselves. Hopefully your DH just needs time to process everything and you can go from there.
I am so sorry that things are not going smooth. I agree with everyone on this.
I can completely understand you issue with twins. When you see twins IRL you see the success, it wasn't until I came to Just Mommies where I got to "see" how difficult just getting to the finish line with twins really is.