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Dealing with Death


Forum: 2008 Playroom

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  #1  
February 13th, 2013, 06:15 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Dh's dad passed away this morning. We knew it would happen soon so it was not entirely a surprise when we got the call.

Early Dec my FIL had a massive stroke. Weeks later we found out he had Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. This was why he had the stroke.

The girls have been going to see grandpa on Saturdays with daddy. I know they will wonder why they won't be anymore. Plus, we will have the funeral this coming Monday.

What's the best way to explain this? I'm certain I will explain that Gpa is now in Heaven. Yet, I'm not sure if I should go any further.
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  #2  
February 13th, 2013, 07:59 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
Depends on your views, we're Catholic so my kids know when you die you go to heaven and we'll join them when we die. Do what you're comfortable with. ((hugs))
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  #3  
February 14th, 2013, 05:00 AM
youngwoman's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

You could explain that Grandpa was very sick and that medicine couldn't make him better. We explained with the loss of our dog that now his body isn't hurting anymore, and that even though we can't see him, we can talk to him and think about him whenever we need to. Also, let your girls see that you, your DH, other family members are sad, that it's OK to be upset and to miss someone that you loved.

HUGS to you all.
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  #4  
February 14th, 2013, 05:25 AM
Julka
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieJ View Post
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Depends on your views, we're Catholic so my kids know when you die you go to heaven and we'll join them when we die. Do what you're comfortable with. ((hugs))
Ditto. It sounds like you believe in God and Heaven so let them know that is where grandpa went and that one day you will be together again. Kids don't need complex explanations. We talk to our kids about God and Heaven all the time and learn about it in school, so if your girls are familiar with these terms (at least Ellie, the older), it should be okay. I am so sorry for your family's loss.
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  #5  
February 14th, 2013, 09:11 AM
Bermuda Girl's Avatar Andrea Jack & Olive's mom
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Hugs to your DH and family. I am so sorry for your loss.
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  #6  
February 15th, 2013, 08:10 AM
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I am so sorry for your loss. When my Grandma died, my girls were two and three and we said what was mentioned here. Mia was okay, and Addy was fine with the explanation but kept saying she was sad that Great Grandma died or that she missed her. Addy still will occasionally say that, but she was really close with her.
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  #7  
February 15th, 2013, 12:50 PM
NoahandLola's Mommy
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Be honest and let them ask questions. Hug them tight
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  #8  
February 15th, 2013, 01:29 PM
MommyToCooper's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So sorry for the loss.

I highly recommend the book "When Dinosaurs Die". It was recommended to us by Hospice when my grandmother passed away last year. It's really helped Cooper understand death (as well as a child can).
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  #9  
February 15th, 2013, 04:41 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies! I appreciate all the advice.
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  #10  
February 16th, 2013, 06:17 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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Even thou Keeley never met Jessica she regularly talks about her being in heaven or in the sky.
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  #11  
February 19th, 2013, 06:21 PM
Twinkle's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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How have things been going? Death is always a hard conversation to have... we always worry about the affect it will have on the kids... How is your family doing? Thinking of you lots!
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