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Feeling sorry for myself


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  #1  
February 22nd, 2013, 06:22 AM
Destany's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: KC MO
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I've decided to give up TTC. It's been almost a year, and it's been a total roller coaster. I can't handle it anymore.

Last cycle I was a week late and had plenty of symptoms and I just *knew* I had to be pregnant. I finally tested on the seventh late day (I knew when I ovulated) and was shocked to find a negative result. I got my periods later that evening. I cried for two days.

Since I started TTC, I've seen at least 8 friends announce pregnancy and many of them weren't even trying. I'm totally thrilled for them, honest. But it makes me sad. Two days after I got my BFN last month, one of my dearest friends made her announcement. She's been exclusively breastfeeding for the past year and a half since her last baby was born and hadn't even seen her cycle return. I'm totally ecstatic for her of course, but it's hard to not feel sorry for myself, too.

I wanted a baby really bad. It's a hard thing to let go of and just move on. I know that I have four beautiful kids and that's what I need to focus on. I know that I will be able to focus on my career fully and be more attentive to it without the hindrance of another pregnancy/baby. I know that I'm getting older and that my first born has just a couple more years at home before he flies the nest. I know that I'm positively CRAZY for wanting another. And I know that in many ways, it's better for me to not have another kid.

But when you have your heart set on something... something so amazing and wonderful and rewarding, it's heartbreaking when you realize it's not going to happen.

Anyway. I'm not putting this anywhere else because I don't want my other friends who have announced pregnancies to see it and think that any of my feelings are directed at them.
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  #2  
February 22nd, 2013, 08:29 AM
~Devon~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think those feelings are normal when you are TTC and it doesn't seem to be working but it seems like everyone is getting pregnant but you. Like you said, you have a beautiful family and now you can focus more on your career. (hugs)
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  #3  
February 22nd, 2013, 09:03 AM
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I can relate. After Aidan, we did TTC with the frozen embryos we still had, and even knowing going in that we had very limited chance (we had 3 frozen) and that we made the decision that that was it, it was still hard a took some time to come to terms with it when I was actually going through it. It's always hard to let go of a desire, even when you know you are blessed with what you already have, it can still be hard. But for me, now that I am well and passed that stage, I am extremely content and happy with my life and I honestly can't picture my family any other way than the way it is today. You'll get there too, just give yourself a little time. Having the focus on your work and family will only help you to get there as well.
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  #4  
February 22nd, 2013, 08:42 PM
horseradishmayo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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  #5  
February 23rd, 2013, 06:48 AM
kimmiejo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hugs, hopefully you find peace with the decision and you never know sometimes when you stop trying that's when it finally happens!
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  #6  
February 23rd, 2013, 08:05 AM
*Cyndee*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry for the disappointments and disheartening feelings. Were you on a specific time squeeze? Taking a break can be a good thing, is there a reason you are giving up completely? *HUGS*
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  #7  
February 23rd, 2013, 09:08 PM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Proud Mama to 5 girls
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I am so so sorry ((hugs)) my heart hurts for you, I know exactly how you feel
I agree though you never know taking a "break" might be exactly what you need!!!!
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  #8  
February 24th, 2013, 05:48 AM
Destany's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks guys!
No time squeeze, just so over it. I'm not going back on birth control and I'm not going to stop having sex, I'm just not trying to get pregnant anymore. The two week wait, wondering if I could be, needing to be careful with myself "just in case" followed by horrible disappointment. Plus, you don't want to talk about it either. If you tell someone you're in the wait or that you could be pregnant, you have to go and tell them that you're not and that' just makes it feel so much worse.
Thanks for letting me complain!
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  #9  
February 24th, 2013, 07:41 AM
mylene169's Avatar Kaija and Kolbie's Mommy
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I've totally been there, too! When we were ttc Kolbie it felt like it took forever, and it did take 9 months of trying. In that time so many people I knew were getting pregnant and a lot of them were by surprise. It felt cruddy because with Kaija it was a "one and done" type thing! We didn't even have to try that time so I didn't understand what was taking so long or what we were doing wrong. Then throwing a m/c into the middle of it really just threw me into a tailspin for a while. This time only took 4-5 months, but even still friends were getting pregnant without even really trying, and it stung again.

I didn't give up trying either time, but I did relax about it a little. DH and I have very strange schedules so I did need to know when to go for it, but at the same time I tried not to stress myself out. Maybe that's all you need. I hope it is anyway!!
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  #10  
February 25th, 2013, 02:47 AM
LisaMarie!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Maybe just relaxing, not stressing and having fun will allow it to happen.
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