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Forum: 2008 Playroom

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  #1  
February 22nd, 2013, 08:39 PM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am curious, how much sexuality are you teaching your child at this age? I am having a hard time knowing what is appropriate or not. The curiosity is there, but I am not sure how far to go. So far I have just checked out a book from the library about the differences between girls and boys. No talk as of yet about the birds and te bees. What are you all doing?
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  #2  
February 22nd, 2013, 08:47 PM
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well...we are naked in front of our kids. Sarah knows the difference in private parts obviously. and she has asked where babies come from, but i haven't explained it in detail. she knows it has to do with love, and a seed that the daddy puts in the mommy. she asked how the seed gets there, and i told her that it's, "kind of like magic."...which is kinda true. we haven't gotten into anything more than that really.
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  #3  
February 23rd, 2013, 06:25 AM
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^^pretty much exactly that. Sydney asks questions, she sorta gets it but not the intimate details...yet! She knows the difference between boy parts and girl parts because she has a brother and we aren't super shy about being naked around here, I mean I am not running around naked 24/7 lol but it's not something we hide either. It's very important to me that she is comfortable with her body while at the same time respecting it.
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  #4  
February 23rd, 2013, 07:03 AM
bostoncreampie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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so your husbands are naked in front of daughters and vice versa?
do they ever ask inappropriate things like if they can look or touch and how do you handle that?
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  #5  
February 23rd, 2013, 07:26 AM
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We haven't really started any conversations about it. Jacob and Paige still bathe together and at the beginning he would point and laugh and ask why Paige has a butt in front.
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  #6  
February 23rd, 2013, 07:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristenpie View Post
so your husbands are naked in front of daughters and vice versa?
do they ever ask inappropriate things like if they can look or touch and how do you handle that?
well my husband doesn't shower with her or anything but if she walks in the room when he is getting dressed we don't make a big deal about it, she hasn't asked to look or touch so I guess that isn't an issue. And like I said we aren't nudists or anything lol it's just if we are naked we don't rush to cover up. She also still bathes with her brother sometimes and she knows that other peoples privates aren't for touching, etc. I don't know the right answer to the question I suppose it's all what you are comfortable with and how the child responds, it really hasn't been a big issue with us, there will come a time when our kids will become uncomfortable with it I am sure and then we will adapt. I still shower with both kids sometimes, also so far not an issue, yes questions are asked by both my kiddos like why do boys/girls have this and I have that kinda thing, I just try to explain that boys and girls are different and then they move unto something else. For us anyway it isn't something either of my kiddos have dwelled on much, they might ask a question yes but once they get a kid appropriate answer they just move on. It might not always be that easy but for now it is.
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  #7  
February 23rd, 2013, 08:18 AM
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I take showers with both older kids daily. Also, like Kim, my husband doesn't nessasarily walk around naked but doesn't rush to cover up or anything. Lilly also knows how babies are born and she knows all about breastfeeding. She calls it nectar. Lol these are all questions she's asked. Oh she already knows a bit about how girls bleed every month. That question was from my mama cloth stash. I told her I'd let her pick her own stash when she gets older.
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  #8  
February 23rd, 2013, 08:54 AM
horseradishmayo's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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pretty much the same as Kim.
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  #9  
February 23rd, 2013, 10:14 AM
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My DH doesn not want and will go to lengths to prevent her seeing him naked. always has. She doesn't ask about it.

SHe has more of hard time telling men from women since realizing it's not about hair length.

We are no where near sex talk. We do give correct names for body parts and I'm teaching her about her own body when it's appropriate.

We dont take baths together anymore for lack of space. Showers every now and then. She's obsessed with my boobs which is natural but kind of weird so I'm teaching her that private parts are sacred to each person.. blah blah

At this age we talk more about what is/isn't appropriate touching. I'm very worried about molestation and we have been teaching her self defense moves and how to react.
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  #10  
February 23rd, 2013, 10:19 AM
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I stopped showering with Walter a year ago because he started getting more interested and I thought it was time for boundaries. He loves to dance around naked with Sam and they have started grabbing each other and mooning each other and it's just gross, so I am trying to find a balance between normalizing it but keeping clear boundaries. Last night he asked me why I don't jump around naked with him, and very bluntly told me he'd be in to seeing my privates and not understanding why that's not okay. He knows some cultures dont wear clothes and doesn't understand why we do. All normal questions but I am having a hard time answering them! He has also claimed that he'd like to be a doctor someday so he can look at people private parts. He knows all about boobs (baby feeders) and I got him a book about body parts after he had a baby sister who looks different than him, but that's the extent of it. He is definitely interested so I want to normalize nudity and such but I don't want him to get any more obsessed with it than he already is, lol.
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  #11  
February 23rd, 2013, 10:21 AM
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That all sounds normal Kristen. My little brothers used to pretend to do "butt surgery" in the bath (they are 11 months apart) around age 4-5. Totally weird but normal.
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  #12  
February 23rd, 2013, 02:46 PM
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lol, ok thanks Cyndee.
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  #13  
February 23rd, 2013, 03:07 PM
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that sounds normal to me too.
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  #14  
February 23rd, 2013, 03:22 PM
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We're also like Kim - we aren't nudists by any means, but we don't duck and cover either. The girls don't seem to have noticed that DH is different from them. They run around naked before baths all the time and I do shower with them on occasion. DH doesn't though, mostly because he's a big dude and has a hard enough time fitting our tub on his own. We are starting to encourage that their run around before bath time take place in their rooms now though. My brother got weirded out when they ran downstairs at my parents house before their bath one night, and really I didn't like it either honestly. Also, they think a person's name is how to tell a boy from a girl, still. So...

I'm trying to work on personal/private space with both of them.
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  #15  
February 23rd, 2013, 05:59 PM
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Nothing explicit on the topic has really come up with Aidan. He understands that his body looks different from mine. I can still remember ages ago (he was probably 2 - 3 at the time) when he was totally confused about how I could pee without a penis. From that point, he has understood the basic anatomical differences between girls and boys. But, he doesn't talk about it or ask much about it. He understands the basic concept of where babies come from (thanks to the endless number of animal reference books we've gone through) and that mammals give birth vs. fish and birds that lay eggs/hatch. So at this point, he doesn't see much difference between my giving birth to him or a whale giving birth.
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  #16  
February 24th, 2013, 03:36 AM
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We don't walk around the house naked very often but the boys do see us in the shower and getting dress. I still will take a shower with both boys and I have a taken a bath with them both in my tub which holds us all.

Aiden doesn't like running around naked, he want clothes on. He will before bathtime but any other time he want to be dress.
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  #17  
February 24th, 2013, 05:58 AM
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It sounds like the rest of the ladies have got this pretty well covered.
Because Adam and Karlie are in such close age, and they are also in that curious stage, I have had to struggle a lot with boundaries as well.
They flash each other and joke about their privates ALL.THE.TIME. It gets old, it's gross and annoying.
I am afraid that Adam is hearing a more adult commentary about sex/gender on the bus or at school and his curiosity has spiked, and his behavior becoming increasingly inappropriate. It's not something I wish to discuss here, but I'd be willing to in private. That said, I'm beginning to feel that it's time for more rigid separation.

In the next two weeks, we are moving Adam into the playroom and splitting up the toys, and giving Karlie the upstairs room to herself. Nothing is being done in a dramatic way, and certainly not in association with the talk about the private parts but I think it's past time, anyway.
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  #18  
February 24th, 2013, 07:21 PM
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We haven't really discussed sexuality exactly, but she does know how babies are made. Up until recently, I told her that babies are made when a mommy and a daddy are in love and decide they want a baby and then they ask God to help them. The other night at dinner, she asked me how exactly the baby gets in there. I didn't discuss the actual act of sex but I did explain that the mommy has eggs and the daddy has sperm and the sperm swims to meet the egg. She wanted more details so we discussed the zygote, the multiplication of cells, and the development of a fetus. She also knows that the ultrasound doctor can tell us if the baby is a boy or a girl by looking at the private parts. All of our discussions have been more on the scientific processes though, and not about the sexual aspects of anything.
She has seen me naked but we try to avoid her seeing dh without clothes. If our next is a boy, I will probably try not to be naked around him after age 2 or 3. London has been to art museums where there are obviously pictures and statues of naked people.
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  #19  
February 25th, 2013, 08:53 AM
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I was just having thoughts on this subject this morning. Liam comes in the bedroom all the time when I'm changing or comes in the bathroom while I'm showering. I don't want to make a big taboo issue out of it, but I'm also not sure exactly how to handle it. I don't want him to feel like he's not welcome in our room, or that I'm "hiding" my body.

I tend to run on the system of answering questions as they happen. He knows men and women have different bodies, that women have breasts for feeding babies, etc, but we've never gone into a lot of detail because he hasn't asked.
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  #20  
February 25th, 2013, 09:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *~~Shannon~~* View Post
I was just having thoughts on this subject this morning. Liam comes in the bedroom all the time when I'm changing or comes in the bathroom while I'm showering. I don't want to make a big taboo issue out of it, but I'm also not sure exactly how to handle it. I don't want him to feel like he's not welcome in our room, or that I'm "hiding" my body.

I tend to run on the system of answering questions as they happen. He knows men and women have different bodies, that women have breasts for feeding babies, etc, but we've never gone into a lot of detail because he hasn't asked.

My boys come in when I am showing all the time. I just figure Aiden will stop coming in when he doesn't want to see me naked any more.
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