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If you could afford to be a SAHM would you?


Forum: 2008 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By *Cyndee*
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  #1  
March 30th, 2013, 05:35 PM
spicymustard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Or if you are a SAHM and gave up a good job are you sorry you did?

I think financially we could afford to do it now if we tighten up our spending as in we don't just buy what ever we want. I'm afraid to give up my job though because I'm high on the seniority list and in five years when Mollie goes to school then what? But then I think it's stupid to worry about the future period but especially the way the climate is at my district right now we might be in danger of state take over or being swallowed up by another district anyways. It's a huge decision for me. I haven't even brought it up to dh yet because I'm not sure what I would want to do.
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  #2  
March 30th, 2013, 06:35 PM
*Cyndee*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Work enriches my life and my role as a mom. I love working.

But I could never afford child care for 3, or not working and supporting 3 on one income. Not in this part of the country.
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  #3  
March 30th, 2013, 07:52 PM
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I am. I have been for almost 6 years. I will say that it is one of the hardest things I have done. I have some regrets, such as dropping out of grad school when I got pregnant. I wish I had waited to start a family. Ideally, I would be working part time when Ruby gets a bit older. With just a BA in Psych, I can't do anything respectable. When I am ready, I will need to go to finish a higher degree before getting a job. It feels overwhelming. My life is really, really challenging as a SAHM. I don't have balance in my life, and thats not good at all. Something about the 5 year mark has been really hard on me. I feel so selfless and at this point I wish I had taken better care of my interests.
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  #4  
March 30th, 2013, 08:46 PM
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((hugs)) Kristen.

we can't really afford for me to stay home, but all i've ever wanted is to be a mom and stay home with my kids. it's worth it to me.
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  #5  
March 30th, 2013, 10:01 PM
mylene169's Avatar Kaija and Kolbie's Mommy
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I'm extremely lucky that I've got both - I'm home with the kids AND I have a full-time job. It's hard. It's so hard. We can't afford for me not to work, but we can't afford for me to have a full-time job outside of the house either. My BA is in Biology but I never really did anything to foster that after college and I DO regret that. And not it's been so long that whatever knowledge I have left is just about irrelevant. Like Cyndee said, work fulfills me and makes me a better mom. It seems crazy, but I probably interact MORE with the girls now than I did a year ago. Yes I'm working all afternoon but all that means is that our mornings can be packed with stuff. I can make my own schedule (mostly) and we can do things in the afternoons. It works for us and where our family is right now. I don't know where my job is going to take me but hopefully I can do it for a nice long time and when all 3 kids are in school start looking for something to actually get me out of the house.
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  #6  
March 31st, 2013, 12:15 AM
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I'm very lucky to have the best of both worlds too. I work part time, about 20 hours a week and the kids are with DH when I work. I get to have some not-mom time, earn a BG of money and not have to pay daycare. I don't think I could be a full time SAHM. I love the kids, but I need time away from them throughout the week.
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  #7  
March 31st, 2013, 06:51 AM
LisaMarie!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We could afford it but I chose not to stay home. When we left active duty, I stayed home for a few months and I hated being stay at home mom. I just wasn't meant to stay home mom. I felt they would get more out of a learning center, and not home with me. It might have been different if i stayed home from the start with Aiden but i was military and had to work. I went back to school and dropped out after 2 semester. Then I started looking for a job and finally found the one I have now. I love having my life outside of my boys. I also love being home on the weekend with them.

I would love to work part time but the jobs I would want only offer full time position. I love my job right now. It isn't stressfully. Everyone I work with is great. Plus, it is easy to take time off when needed. I get paid plenty for daycare and a little extra.

Ryan said if I want a 3rd child, we need to wait until Preston is 5. It isn't about childcare. Preston is a rough kid and Ryan can't handle him and a newborn right now. I'm undecided right now anyways. I'm very happy with 2 and don't know if I want to start over again.
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  #8  
March 31st, 2013, 08:22 AM
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I suspected most of you probably felt that way. We were in a great routine with 2 but everytime I have a new baby I feel the same way with getting the urge to stay home. I think it helps (work) when Lilly says she wants to see her friends at daycare. Oliver loves the grandfather over there and asks about him once in awhile.

Mylene, I do understand when you say you actually interact more when you are working. I've thought the same thing before.
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  #9  
March 31st, 2013, 09:19 AM
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I would if the children were under 2-3. After that I would send them to preschool for social interaction and to give myself a break at least part time. If I stayed home after they started school I ideally would work for myself and grow my own business. I dislike working for a large corporation and am looking for ways to get out right now while affording it. I am halfway there so I am going to keep trying.
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  #10  
March 31st, 2013, 10:44 AM
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Are you talking about your etsy store? How well do things sell there? I thought about that to but with knitting.
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  #11  
March 31st, 2013, 03:59 PM
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I like to work, I can't imagine not working, actually I can't remember a time when I didn't work! Sometimes I would like to cut back and work part time but my job doesn't allow part time so that isn't an option because it isn't a position I would want to give up. My department is now going to offer flex time though and I am really considering it, I would work 4 10hr days with one midweek day off. I work from home so even though 10 hr days seem long it isn't that big of a deal and I think it would be worth the extra day off with the kids, still trying to figure it all out but really hoping it is something I am able to take advantage of.
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  #12  
March 31st, 2013, 06:06 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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I hate my job. I hate how tired and stressed I am at the end of the day, which means I don't get as much quality time with the girls. Even during part time hours, I still resent my job. I hate that I am over-qualified for the job I do, but I don't have a desire to find a particular career better suited to me. I miss being able to be more creative on my own time. I miss being involved in the community with volunteer work. I think those are valuable lessons that my girls need to see- use your skills to create something fun, beautiful, or helpful to those in need. Granted, being a SAHM is often a thankless job, but I think the pros outweigh the cons for me.

We did work out the numbers for when this baby comes. It will cost us a few dollars more for an infant and 3 year old in daycare than I actually make. In tax season when I work full time and overtime, I'd have to add after school care for Lily into that cost too. It doesn't make sense for me to work. It will be a struggle, but we had already made some adjustments to our spending. DH is also looking into a different opportunity at work that could pay about 50% more if things work out.
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  #13  
March 31st, 2013, 08:07 PM
*Cyndee*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Good Luck Courtney! There is no income worth work that makes you unhappy.
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  #14  
March 31st, 2013, 10:06 PM
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Yes, my Etsy store. I have been pretty busy the last couple of months but it took me about a year and a half to get here. I am close to 500 sales and I was only at 100 in November so most of the sales have come recently.
There is a lot to learn as far as photos, tags, titles, etc to show up in searches. Also promoting outside of Etsy is a big part of brining people in. It has been a lot of work but is paying off for me now because I am getting some debt paid down. I am up until 1-2am about 3-4 nights a week making things and packing orders since I am working all day. I am hoping I can grow it one day so I can quit my day job but I would want $$ saved up to do that incase business got slow. Right now I am thinking of looking on additional venues or websites to sell to bring in more money.

If you have some things to list then it doesn't hurt to try. The most $$ you would lose is .20 a listing. I didn't notice many sales until I had around 50 items in my shop though. It takes a lot of work but if it is something you want to happen and really invest time it then it could pay off. It just may not happen overnight. I almost gave up after the first 6 months but then I had a company that represented a popular music band interested in me (and found me on Etsy) and it gave me confidence to keep going. I feel like it was a sign to push me forward.
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  #15  
March 31st, 2013, 11:15 PM
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Michele, I didn't know you had an etsy store. What do you sell?

As for me, I go back and forth on this.I really like the balance I have now though I am hoping to actually make some money soon... Right now, I'm only working a few hours 2-3 days a week and I get to stay home the rest of the time. I love the hours and flexibility but I'll admit that I am getting a bit nervous about booking something soon. For me, the ideal would be working part time doing something I love. I have had some amazing, intellectually stimulating jobs that made me very happy and some stressful, monotonous jobs that made me hate my life. So really it just depends on the opportunity abd the timing. Right now, I am extremely satisfied with the balance in my life.
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  #16  
April 1st, 2013, 07:23 AM
LisaMarie!'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Cyndee* View Post
Good Luck Courtney! There is no income worth work that makes you unhappy.
I agree with this statement... I left a job because i hated it which made life at home horrible. If you can make it on one paycheck when the next baby comes, it might be for the best for you and the family.

good Luck.
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  #17  
April 1st, 2013, 04:31 PM
.Michelle.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I sell bracelets. :-) I don't know if I am allowed to post the link here but on my FB page look under my "about me" section.
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