[heatherrose415]

Kimberly, I completely understand that every child is different and some techniques dont work for every child. I agree I would much rather have my kid get a spank and not run in the street, rather than get hit by a car, if the other techniques dont work. Sorry i didnt make myself more clear.

I have to agree, I think the study is more for abuse.
I was never spanked, but my father did everything else physically abusive (not sexually) and I had very risky sexual behaviors as a teen, luckily it only lasted 2 yrs and I straightened up. My husband was spanked as a kid and I have been the only person he has been with, he did nothing risky.

My main thing on spanking is I think all other options should be exhausted first.

and I cant stand parents who spank butts for everything, just my personal feelings, but I have known ppl who will just spank about everything not even try timeouts, etc.....several times a day.

[kovard]

Kimberly, I completely understand that every child is different and some techniques dont work for every child. I agree I would much rather have my kid get a spank and not run in the street, rather than get hit by a car, if the other techniques dont work. Sorry i didnt make myself more clear.

I have to agree, I think the study is more for abuse.
I was never spanked, but my father did everything else physically abusive (not sexually) and I had very risky sexual behaviors as a teen, luckily it only lasted 2 yrs and I straightened up. My husband was spanked as a kid and I have been the only person he has been with, he did nothing risky.

My main thing on spanking is I think all other options should be exhausted first.

and I cant stand parents who spank butts for everything, just my personal feelings, but I have known ppl who will just spank about everything not even try timeouts, etc.....several times a day.[/b]

Yeah, that isn't cool when people are spank happy. I also think exhausting all resources is important because there are so many consequence options. (I like the word consequence too ) It is funny how every kid is so different. That makes it tough to be a second time mom too! What works with baby #1 might not work with #2 and you have to start all over again reading up on discipline options and trying different methods! Being a parent is exhausting! Just talking about all this is exhausting!

Let's be careful not to turn this into a debate

Interesting article, but I do wish there were more specifics (single family home? sexually abused? quality of education? etc). I wasn't spanked as a child but my mom did swat me a couple of times. It never hurt, it was more for shock value in my case.

[heatherrose415]

LOL, I hate the word punishment. glad im not the only one that likes the word consequence more

and I agree, being a parent is exhausting!!

My 2nd son is WAY different than my first, but I still havent had to spank him or anything.

I do not like to see spank happy people either. I just think that this specific article is very misleading. I use spanking as a last resort - my rule is to only use it in cases where my child could be injured or could injure someone else. We have not spanked my boys in years. Once they got to school age it was much easier to talk with them, use time-out, or grounding from toys and activities. However, when they were about two to four those things just did not work for them. I see spanking as a tool that has its place in discipline. I didn't mean to come off too forceful as it was not my intent. I just get really irritated with the studies that are online that are so misleading with their statistics because they do not eliminate all other factors. No hard feelings?

How does it not hurt? (I'm honestly asking - not being catty.) I would assume the sting of a hand on the bottom would cause a level of pain - certainly not extreme - but a sting. Otherwise, why is it done? What is the reinforcement if there isn't a sting with the spank?
[/b]

Well, I was spanked, and my mom said it mostly embarassed me. I guess spanked is not the right word, lightly tapped. I cried, but it was because I was sad I was getting in trouble, not because it hurt. I wasn't spanked to cause pain, but rather to cause embarassment (I hate to use this word, but I can't think of a better one).

Okay...so I'll change what I call it. I will "lightly tap" my child if I feel it works, certainly not enough to sting or cause pain. I guess I was just using the wrong word for it.

I certainly don't mean to offend anyone, I think different forms of discipline work for different children, and that will be the biggest factor in my decision with my children.



In respect to this study, I totally believe that being abused as a child has lasting, negative effects that some people can never work themselves out of. My husband was abused as I said earlier, and I think that will make him a lot more sensitive to our children instead of more violent (which I have seen some victims of abuse do).