OK, so I have totally forbidden my husband from looking at my hoo-hoo when I deliver. I have seen the videos and I know what it's going to look like. I understand it's a beautiful moment and very emotional and all that, but I'd like to think my husband and I will resume DTD as soon as I'm able. Heck, I miss that SOOOO much!!! Besides, I want 3 more kids! I guess I just feel like if DH sees it like that it will be hard for him to look at it the same afterwards. He doesn't seem to mind that I don't want him to look, he probably doesn't really want to anyways.

I would probably let my father watch that before my husband because it is so totally non-sexual at that moment. Seriously! Now, I'm NOT saying my dad is going to watch!!! I'm sure the doctor will be the only one down there if I can help it! But, if I had to pick between the two I would seriously keep DH away! That's how strongly I feel about DH not looking.

So, I was curious if I'm the only one who thinks like this. Maybe I'm being silly, but I'm very attracted to my husband, and I'd like to think he'll continue being attracted to me. He's so great with my stretch marks and my big belly and all, but everyone has thier limits, and I just wonder if seeing that wouldn't just permanately turn my husband "off!" *LOL*

So, is DH allowed to look down there when you deliver? Why or why not?

[ssweetsara]

With my first i told my mom to keep me covered i dont want anybody but the dr down there. Well let me tell you in the moment i lost all modesty i wanted no covers on me and i could care less who saw what. With my son i had already done this so i was not making any choices. I gave my DH the choice and he did watch. He said after that he had so much respect for me and woman and our bodies and thanked God that men do not do that. Here is a little TMI but it was only 2 weeks after i had my DS that we DTD again. It only took me 5 days to stop bleeding and i made an early appointment with the dr and got the ok. So with that said dont be surprised if you could care less who is there and who is watching when it comes down to it. All you are thinking about is getting that kid out!!

I just wanted to add the i have not found anything yet that would prevent DH from finding me attractive or from wanting to DTD! And I am sure that your DH is the same way. Expecially by the way you speak about him!!

[~*angel*~]

i understand what you're saying. i actually asked kyle if he was going to look or not. i have a feeling that if he does look, he'll pass out. he said he wasn't sure and he'd see how things go. i said, "well, if you do look, are you ever going to want to touch me again? i mean, it's extremely graphic! can you imagine being sexual with that again?" he said, "of course i will want you still! that won't change that at all!" he's seen videos of it, too so he knows what it looks like. i'm leaving it up to him. if he suddenly has the urge to watch, he can. i really don't know if he will or not, though.
i'm not having anyone else in the room with us, though. and i mean no one! just the docs! that's it.

[*Vero*]

hehe I so have to agree with ssweetsara!!

With my daughter I didn't give too much thought as to who would see what.. but I was still apprehensive about the midwives checking me, and me being indesent.. and not as much DH not wanting to DTD again, but just him finding it gross...

lol well let me tell you once labour started I could not care less who saw what!! LOL!! I went to labour in the bath tub and I didn't think of bringing a bathing suit top (lol I hadn't packed before hand) and to be honest.. if I had brought one, I don't think I would have cared to take the trouble of putting it on!! I was completely naked from head to toe for the pushing part and even when the second midwife came in I remember thinking.. "Oh I'm naked... ahhh I really couldn't care less I just want to push right now!!!!!!" LOL

I did cover myself with a sheet before my sister came in the room to meet the baby lol... not before that!

I think DH looked down there a bit... but I just totally left it up to him with what he was comfortable with... he's so easily weirded out.. lol

[*Ade*]

I can see how women would be concerned about the sexual part of it all, and it does make sense. A man may never look at it the same again. But, Joey is allowed to look if he so pleases. He did with Kylie, and that hasnt changed a thing for him. But I definitely understand your decision. If I thought it would have an effect on Joey, I wouldnt let him look either.

[laura007]

My hubby said he has no desires to watch what is going on, he's much too concerned with helping me cope thru all the pain. Besides, he saw the movie Knocked Up, and he said that was more than enough to get him thru the curiosity.

I agree with ssweetsara about not caring who sees what when it comes down to being in labor, you just want that baby out....ASAP!

[emills]

DH alternates between wanting to not only look, but actually DELIVER the baby (since he is trained to do so, although never done it or seen it for that matter) and making him sick and pass out. Im not so keen on ANYONE seeing down there during (heck I dont want anyone looking down there EVER), not even the Dr- but thats my own issue based on my insecurities. So, if I have it my way- that area will be "off limits" for pretty much everyone that isnt "essential personnel".

That said- IF my DH can see that process without passing out, I would prefer to have him down there delivering over the Dr or nursing staff anyday. But I doubt that will ever happen

[mom_of_8]

I don't care if dh looks...........heck when you're at that stage you really don't care if the whole world is looking lol.............but he can't stomach it. He doesn't handle blood very well.

[kristina13]

My husband is very squeemish, but couldnt help taking a peek when she was literally coming out..he waited until she was actually like emerging to look though lol...and he was up by my head so it wasnt like he was getting a full on view. If hes looking over your leg, he wont see the same shot you see in the videos, but the sight of the baby coming out is pretty amazing and may be something he is tempted to peek over at...but dont worry, he is not going to lose interest in your hoo hoo whether he looks or not! I totally understand your apprehension though!

[MaddiesMama]

I don't think my husband wants to look, but as far as I'm concerned, he is not allowed. And he has also been made aware that I WILL kick him OUT of the delivery room if I need to. He cracks jokes at the absolute most inappropriate times and I will not put up with that when I am trying to deliver our child.

I don't think my husband wants to look, but as far as I'm concerned, he is not allowed. And he has also been made aware that I WILL kick him OUT of the delivery room if I need to. He cracks jokes at the absolute most inappropriate times and I will not put up with that when I am trying to deliver our child.[/b]

Yeah, my DH can be kinda that way too. He thinks he's taking my mind off of things or cheering me up or something and all is does is tick me off! I would like to think he would not be stupid enough to make a dumb comment when I'm delivering the baby, but in his nervousness he just might say something offensive trying to "lighten the mood" or "take my mind off the pain." So, I understand where you're coming from on this one.

[Melody]

DH said he really doesnt want to look down there, that my doula and aunt will be holding my legs so he doesnt have to. he wants to be holding my hand and up by my head the whole time. i respect that. i'd rather have him holding my hand then passed out on the floor..lol. but i think out of curiosity, he will take a peak or two. i really dont care about anyone els seeing. i figure, all of these people have seen it a thousand times, and everyone there will probably be female. i do have it in my birth plan that i want a mirror to see what him crowning looks like. and i'll ask my doula if she can take pictures, just so i can see. i would love it if DH would video tape it for me, but i will get the point of view that he's at. maybe he'll buck up and get down there anyway.

[*~Jen~*]

The whole time I was pregnant last time DH kept telling me how he wasn't going to look, that he didn't want to see it, etc. During delivery though, the nurse asked him if he wanted to see and he looked. Then he went on to talk about how "cool" that was for awhile. We didn't have any problems DTD after that. I don't remember how long we waited, but it wasn't the recommended 6 weeks, and I had some tearing and everything was fine. I will say that having DH in the exam room at my appointments at the end when they were checking for dilation was weirder for him than actually watching Seth being born! He was and still is pretty uncomfortable with that. I probably won't have him come to appointments with me at the end for that reason this time.

I agree...you won't care who sees what when you're delivering. I remember all kinds of nurses coming in and out while I was pushing/being stitched up...it didn't phase me one bit. And I'm a modest person.

I consider myself to be a pretty modest person, however when it comes to delivery I honestly do not care who sees my hoo-hoo - because most likely it won't be their first time seeing that nor delivering a baby. When it comes to DH watching the delivery I will leave the decision up to him. I mean I feel that he IS the father of our child and I don't want to control nor take away from his opportunity to see his baby come into the world.

Quite honestly your baby is only born ONCE - you will never be able to get that moment back..so if my DH wants to see that, then by all means let him watch. I don't feel that it will in ANY way take away from him finding me attractive - if anything, like the other ladies said I believe it help him have MORE respect for you and everything that you've endure to give him a child.

I am not at all worried about the medical professionals looking. I could be stark naked the entire time and not care. I know that they have seen that stuff before, and they don't give a hoot.

I'm sure you ladies are probably right that when the time comes I won't care if DH sees, but thinking about it just bothers me I guess. I mean, in many cultures, and even not that long ago here, the husbands weren't around to watch this stuff. I guess I just wonder how they really feel about seeing something like that. I mean, most men aren't big on articulating their deepest feelings, especially if they aren't so favorable and will get them slapped! *LOL*

I know my DH loves me, and I guess deep down I know it's not like he'd never touch me again, I just want to feel pretty and sexy and self-confident in front of him and seeing my screaming and sweating and stuff in labor seems bad enough without seeing our little one do a complete teardown of his playhouse so to speak! *LOL* I don't know how he feels about it because he never talks to me about stuff like that, and I doubt he really knows how he feels about it. He's not much for thinking and planning ahead, he's very, "deal with the current moment."

[Sarah711]

Not only did DH watch a good portion or Caden's delivery but I had a mirror during the pushing phase so I could see him too. At first I thought it would be too weird but it really was great motivation once I could see that he was almost here. It's much less gross than I expected and I'm thankful I did it.

I can't imagine telling DH that he couldn't watch if he wanted to. There's so much of a pregnancy that they don't get to experience that when the birth comes along it's almost like it's daddies first real moments with the baby and it is such a special moment to see DH's big goofy smile and tears when they first see their brand new baby.

I can't imagine telling DH that he couldn't watch if he wanted to. There's so much of a pregnancy that they don't get to experience that when the birth comes along it's almost like it's daddies first real moments with the baby and it is such a special moment to see DH's big goofy smile and tears when they first see their brand new baby.[/b]

Awww, just reading that gives me shivers..I cannot wait to see my DH experience that too! I am so excited to see his face when he first meets our LO and to be the one of first ones to tell me what it is too!!

I know my DH loves me, and I guess deep down I know it's not like he'd never touch me again, I just want to feel pretty and sexy and self-confident in front of him and seeing my screaming and sweating and stuff in labor seems bad enough without seeing our little one do a complete teardown of his playhouse so to speak! *LOL* I don't know how he feels about it because he never talks to me about stuff like that, and I doubt he really knows how he feels about it. He's not much for thinking and planning ahead, he's very, "deal with the current moment."[/b]

Awww, I understand what you're saying sweetie..but I am sure your DH loves you regardless what you'll look like or how you'll act in labor - believe me he will know what you're sacrificing for the sake of having a baby! I'd just let your DH have the freedom to do what he wants when hes in the room with you - you might be surprised - he could want to look or rather not, but I am sure he'd be appreciative for you giving him the choice on what to do! My DH isn't big on telling me his feelings, but he knows that I don't care whether or not he watches the birth, just as long as hes in the room to give me emotional/physical support thats all that matters to me. Believe me, once your DH sees your little girl - I think he will find you even MORE attractive than before!

[SurroDoula]

In my experience, most men find it amazing to watch their child being born, even if they thought they couldn't watch it beforehand. I highly doubt that they are thinking about the vagina in sexual terms at that moment, lol. Honestly, the whole area just looks different than it normally does, it's almost like it's a different body part. Once the baby is born and it all looks normal again, he's going to be thinking about it in sexual terms again.

The view you see in videos is NOT the view that most people see in a delivery room. Even holding a leg, you see it all from the side, and it isn't so graphic. And being there in the moment is much, much different than in the videos. I've seen men cringe at the videos in prenatal classes, and then seen those same men be absolutely enthralled watching the birth. The ewww factor just isn't there when it's your own child.

If he sees the birth, he will still see you as pretty and sexy, but he will also have a new-found respect for how strong you are and how amazing your body is. That can be quite a turn on too!

Now, as for the stupid jokes - my DH made a dumb joke when I was pushing our first. He's never lived it down. I've always threatened to add duct tape to my birth bag, lol! And I warn dads beforehand to NOT make jokes!

[GrowBabyGrow]

Let me just say that if Dh doesnt want to watch then he is going to have to close his eyes or something because your legs are practically up over your head and everything is on display for anyone. I was modest when I had DD but when it came time to push there was no getting around everyone in the room not seeing unless they closed their eyes. I had a mirror too so I could watch her head coming out (it gives you more confidence and strength when you see the progress you are making for yourself).

With that said my Dh is actually delivering this baby (God willing). I know it wont change how he feels about having sex. If anything, like some of the other ladies have said, it will just give him more respect towards me. Plus you have to wait so long after having the baby to have sex anyways and if your Dh is anything like mine he will be begging for it by then LOL.

[Mel_Kay]

My husband has looked the whole time with both my previous births. He commented on how swollen I was afterward (duh, I could feel that), and he even commented that the hemrrhoids looked like knuckles when I was pushing (way too much TMI). But let me tell you, that didn't change his thoughts about DTD one bit. He's a man, if anything he said it made him appreciate my body even more after watching me give birth.