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Would you give your dh free rein


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  #1  
March 10th, 2009, 09:09 AM
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over the baby's name? My dh and I are expecting his first, my fourth. Like he has pointed out, I have had three chances to name children. This is most likely the only child we will have together. Anyway, his mom died a few years ago. He was such a momma's boy, from what I can tell. He loves her deeply and still hurts from her passing. He wants to name our baby, if it's a girl, after her. Well, her name is Martha Lucille. Those are not names that I would ever consider. We don't have to use both names, just one. We will not call the baby by his mom's name, but rather the other name. So far we have come up with Martha Claire ( i really like claire) and Allison Lucille... hahahah... I'm laughing at these names as I type this. I mean, c'mon! I totally understand his sentimental reasoning though and will probably not put up too much of a fight. The truth is that MY MOM is a little upset that we would not consider her name. The thing with that is I named my daughter Anna Jayne. Jayne is MY middle name AND my mom's middle name. So, I thought I was doing right and now I'm getting freaking grief over this whole thing and I'm not even out of the first trimester yet!!! I'm sooo frustrated. I really want to just have a boy!!! Thanks for listening!

Cary

Last edited by simplicity31; March 10th, 2009 at 09:13 AM.
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  #2  
March 10th, 2009, 09:15 AM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow, that's tough. My dh wanted to name our last afterhis Grandma, and we did just that. His Grandma's name is June, so we have Emily June. Would I have let him use it as a first name? NO!
My oldest dd's middle name is Ann, it's also my middle name AND my Mom's middle name, so yes I agree with you that it's after BOTH of you.
Would I give him 100% of the decision? NO.. I'd compromise with him. I wouldn't want my daughter to hate her name.
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  #3  
March 10th, 2009, 09:18 AM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Haha. Yeah thats a tough decision. I'd say compromise is key, since it doesn't really matter what a baby is named, it will still be amazing. I've never heard the name Marth (where does that come from?). I like Claire, too. Have you thought of Lucy at all? That doesn't seem as adult as Lucille (I agree though with those not exactly being the first names that would pop into my mind, though). If its a girl, it might make her feel like she has a connection with her grandma she never met if she has a name in common. Haha, I'm kinda all over the place, but just throwing some things out there. I'd wait to find out what the gender is, since you might be having a disagreement over something that isn't relevant (if its a boy).
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  #4  
March 10th, 2009, 09:19 AM
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What about Lucy? - IDK that would be a hard decision if my DH wanted that because his mom's name is Sig. YUCK! lol

Good luck on whatever you decide - who knows maybe it will be a boy and you wont have that issue.
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  #5  
March 10th, 2009, 09:22 AM
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I understand both points of view, and I think when it comes to naming you should both have a say. I think it's fair if he gets to include part of his mom's name (maybe just as a middle name or parts of her entire name used to create a new name or something). You did already have your mother's middle name integrated with one of your children so I don't think your mom should feel upset. All in all it should be between you and your husband... you are the parents. *hugs* I hope you're able to come to a compromise soon!
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  #6  
March 10th, 2009, 09:26 AM
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I don't think I'd want to give free reign either. I'd find a way to compromise. I think Allison Lucille isn't too bad. Lucy is actually pretty cute so maybe you could just you that instead.

I think you should just tell your mom tough luck. I think using your middle name and her middle name is fine. Not to mention that your DH wants to name a girl after his DECEASED mother. IMO that kind of trumps what your mom wants.
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  #7  
March 10th, 2009, 09:48 AM
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Hey.. .thanks! I have thought about Lucy, but that's what my other children call my X mother in law! YIKES!! And I'm sorry, but there was a typo... the mothers name was marthA. I really don't mind if we name the baby Martha or Lucille, I just have a really hard time with my mom sometimes and she gets her feeling hurt. I think I'm mostly upset with the fact that she is giving me such a hard time. I told them yesterday that I'm not discussing it until I know that the baby is ok and what it is!
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  #8  
March 10th, 2009, 09:53 AM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't blame you. You don't needed added stress over something that might not be an issue.
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  #10  
March 10th, 2009, 12:12 PM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by simplicity31 View Post
Hey.. .thanks! I have thought about Lucy, but that's what my other children call my X mother in law! YIKES!! And I'm sorry, but there was a typo... the mothers name was marthA. I really don't mind if we name the baby Martha or Lucille, I just have a really hard time with my mom sometimes and she gets her feeling hurt. I think I'm mostly upset with the fact that she is giving me such a hard time. I told them yesterday that I'm not discussing it until I know that the baby is ok and what it is!
Haha yeah then Lucy would be awkward! Hahaha I probably should have figured out that was a typo... my brain isn't functioning properly!! haha.
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  #11  
March 10th, 2009, 01:18 PM
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I would not give my dh free rein over a name. I would give him middle name privileges and that's it.

Having said that we work really hard to reach a name we BOTH like and feel comfortable with.

But I did threaten him that the mother gets to fill out the final paperwork for the name so he better be nice to me. lol
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  #12  
March 10th, 2009, 01:28 PM
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i think martha is pretty!
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  #13  
March 10th, 2009, 01:37 PM
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Nope LOL
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  #14  
March 10th, 2009, 01:40 PM
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ditto on the Lucy, i like it much better! and you know what, you and your DH made this baby, not his mother. IMO you have just as much of a right to name this baby as he does.
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  #15  
March 10th, 2009, 01:45 PM
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in our case he is chosing the boys name, we have chosen his grandfather's name and he chose my middle name for the girl, now the middle names are what we are compromising on lol
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  #16  
March 10th, 2009, 03:40 PM
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lol, I also threatened about who signs the birth certificate in our naming "fights." If he doesn't want to be left off he better agree! My point is... if the baby is getting you husbands last name (as mine is), then shouldn't we be able to use our family names as first names? The middle name is totally negotiable and up for grabs. the child is both of yours and both of your heritages should be represented. Its not your fault that this is his only naming opportunity so he shouldn't guilt you with your other 3 kids. there is a way to compromise in there somewhere.

My name choice is Maura Rose. His is Sara Elizabeth. Seriously how many Sara Elizabeths do we know! I'd call it out and eight kids would come running! So our compromise is praying for a boy
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  #17  
March 10th, 2009, 05:07 PM
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I actually gave my DH free reign when it came to naming our first. Luckily I liked the name he picked, Andre and the middle name was his name, Andre Conrad.
With this baby if we have a girl, he has already said he wants the middle name to be after his grandmother whom took care of him for a big part of his life who he was really close to, which is Corrine/Corinne not sure on the spelling now that I think about it!
I think when it comes to sentimental reasons it is okay at least to compromise on it, like use it as the middle name.
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  #18  
March 10th, 2009, 05:17 PM
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What if you guys compromised and just used her initials?
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  #19  
March 10th, 2009, 05:45 PM
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the initials are such a good idea! Or I actually was thinking about how I got my name- try to google the root or variations of Lucille. My name is Megan and I was named after my great-grandmother Pearl (Megan supposedly means "little pearl") I shudder over what could have happened if my parents didn't compromise! Pearl???? Really?
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