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Should I really work around my cousin's "plans"?


Forum: 2009 Playroom

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  #1  
March 16th, 2009, 10:04 AM
.kristen.'s Avatar Raising Little Marines
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Ok, she has 2 girls name picked out I forget even what they are but if we come down to it and pick one of her names, should I be considerate and not name the baby that? I mean a boys name we have covered. But the question is she just got married has no plans of pregnancy unless she is just using that (yes that type of relative ERR she is a princess so she thinks) and she already has names picked out. When I first heard the name I thought I wouldn't use them, but I don't remember them.

Also, they said "If it is a girl, I should have a more feminine name" See my family is just a bunch of nuts!
Crazy people I say!

But if a family member wasn't pregnant and had names picked out, would you grab them if you were pregnant and liked them?
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  #2  
March 16th, 2009, 10:10 AM
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Hmmm. I would allow them one name of each gender (& that's being generous!), if they had 2 girls names picked out I think one would be fair game.
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  #3  
March 16th, 2009, 10:14 AM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Nope, first come first serve! That's how names work in this family! lol You have a kid first, you get first dibs. There are a few rules though, like if my SIL wanted to name a kid Noah, too bad because I get dibs because that's MY Grandpa's name. And dh's cousin is naming her little girls middle name Ellen, because that's her mothers name. So even if I had mine first, she gets that name.
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  #5  
March 16th, 2009, 10:29 AM
TulipDawn's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I guess I would be the odd one out. I probably would ask her again what the names are then I probably would stay clear of those names. That is why in our family the only one in
"competition" for names is my SIL but we do not discuss names period. So if I happened to pick a name she had wanted then it would be pure coincidence for us. They are very hush hush about names and pretty much ANYTHING to do with their family.

To each their own though...so guess I'm not very much help.
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  #6  
March 16th, 2009, 10:43 AM
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I'd pick a name that i'd like and to hell with everyone else!
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  #7  
March 16th, 2009, 10:46 AM
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I guess I have a strange perspective on this one. My mom and aunt were both pregnant at the same time. My mom shared that she wanted to name me Erin, my aunt said the name was cute but wanted to wait until my cousin was born to discuss possible names. My mom chalked it up to her just being quirky. Needless to say, my cousin ERIN was born two weeks before I was and it caused a big passive-aggressive fight that has lasted 27years. Irish families believe in grudges and it never became a huge fight but it has always been there in the background.

Please ask your cousin what names she plans on using. its not worth a family fight. Even if she gets over it and doesn't hold a grudge- there are so many beautiful names out there it shouldn't be an issue to find one you like that won't hurt anyone's feelings.

just my two cents...
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  #8  
March 16th, 2009, 11:15 AM
.kristen.'s Avatar Raising Little Marines
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My sister had 3 kids and she wanted to use Donovan because it is my grandmother's maiden name. Well she had 3 chances and her husband was fixed and then I used it for Owen, now mind you that her youngest is a year older than Owen and she had a fit. But she is a little loopy literally.

I'm just going to keep the name a secret until after the baby is born, because then there will be no comments that anyone can make and if they do they will have to get over it because it will be the name!

BUT!!! I'm going to need everyone's help on the board to pick a name!
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  #9  
March 16th, 2009, 11:25 AM
~KMV~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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when my mom had me, i was supposed to be a boy.. and my name was going to be Christopher James... needless to say im not a boy! and my mom had the hardest time naming me, the hospital refused to let her leave with me until i had a girls name. I was 3 days old when my greatgrandmother finally had had enough said "thats it her name is Kristen Marie lets go home!"
3 months later my moms sister had a boy and named him Christopher Wayne, and a few years later has another boy James Michael. my mom still gives her hell to this day with her choice of names, but its all in good fun!
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  #10  
March 16th, 2009, 12:09 PM
xoleaxo's Avatar Veteran
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hmm honestly if she liked the name first, i would let her have it..there are soooooo soo many names out there. you could even do a variation of it. besides, i wouldn't want the life-long memory or even perhaps some guilt for "name-stealing"
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  #11  
March 16th, 2009, 12:38 PM
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Im a freak about names. If i know someone is using that name or wants that name i steer clear of it. I just like to avoid the drama at all costs.

Thats also why im not secretive of the names i pick out because i want people to know those are my names so they dont jack them! HAHA
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  #12  
March 16th, 2009, 12:43 PM
.kristen.'s Avatar Raising Little Marines
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Haha...yea the names she had picked out I don't like. The only thing is when I was pregnant with Owen I wanted to name him Owen Gabriel or Gabriel Donovan (Gabe) and she flipped out because she was going to use it. I was like how was I supposed to know she was 17 years old and just basically hooking around. Owen was going to be really early to their thinking and I thought an angel name would be appropriate for him (not anymore he should have been named after the devil)
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  #13  
March 16th, 2009, 01:42 PM
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I say go with the name you like!

We had Andrew first, and someone on DH side of the family had an andrew a few years later.

*shrug*
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  #14  
March 16th, 2009, 01:43 PM
.kristen.'s Avatar Raising Little Marines
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See I couldn't do that if someone in our family did that it would be confusing. Like since you used it I would give you that courtesy of not using that.
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  #15  
March 16th, 2009, 01:51 PM
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i would steer clear, only because i know how pissed i would be if someone did that to me. HOWEVER, the circumstances are a little different. this girl isn't even pregnant. if she likes a name that you've liked, then that's her problem. you've got a baby on the way that's going to need a name.

my cousin and i had babies three weeks apart. both are boys, and they share the same middle name. it's not a big deal AT ALL. then again, it's just their middle names.
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  #16  
March 16th, 2009, 05:07 PM
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So I fall on the side where I'd respect her wishes, My husband and I suffered from infertility for 2 years and I can honestly say if my sister had used one of our names I wouldn't speak to her again.

That being said, I gave my best friend permission to use one of my girl names, because who cares if our kids have the same name, its not like they are going to be around each other a LOT, and even if they are its different with family I think.

If she called dibs before you were even expecting then she called dibs. If she got around to it when she found out you were pregnant then thats different. I've had my names picked out since I was like 8.

Its not worth the family battle, and feelings can be really hurt
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  #17  
March 16th, 2009, 05:17 PM
jhappy36's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Bottom line, it's your baby

You'll figure out what is right for you and your family!
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  #18  
March 16th, 2009, 05:21 PM
Blue_Twinkles's Avatar Son Up 2 Son Down
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My 2 cents...she doesn't plan on getting pregnant anytime soon, she didn't buy the names and have them copyrighted, therefore it's first come first serve. You have every right to choose any name under the sun for your child and if it happens to be one she wanted, tough luck. I would do the same.
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  #19  
March 16th, 2009, 05:21 PM
soninole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That is a tough one. If someone in my family made their favorite names known, I would steer clear. But I would not take the wants of a 16-17 yr old into consideration. Heck, when I was 17 I wanted to name a little girl Tatiana. Now I could not imagine using that name.
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  #20  
March 17th, 2009, 08:15 AM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah, I wouldn't take the names to spite her or anything. But chances are she wont even like those names when she actually has kids. I know I wanted to name my boy Aiden like 10 years ago and now it's so popular that I probably would go for something a little less used.

I've decided I'm not gonna share my names with people because of this. I would rather have someone pick the same name because they like it and not because they heard it from me and now want it.
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