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Venting :(


Forum: 2009 Playroom

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  #1  
March 21st, 2009, 10:05 AM
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I am not sure how all of you feel about large families so I may not even be posting this in the right area but we are all pg so I thought maybe you could relate.

I am on the verge of tears. I should not be because the person who caused it is/was just a small fleck of basically nothing in my life.

I waited until today, 12 weeks, to share our news. I posted on Facebook. A few people said congratulations and then came the one that has got me upset. All it said, "I'm just going to put this out there. You know, there are things like condoms and birth control pills....."

This was someone I casually knew in high school who I have not seen or talked to in 20 years. I took him off of my friends list and thanked him for basically being an *****.

It really doesn't matter who it came from, it is just extremely depressing to me that what should be a happy occasion is no longer. I can assure you, we are a happy and strong family. We are no different than anyone else's family except for the fact that we have more kids. We pay our own way, we don't use anyone or anything to get by, we don't do anything to bring judgement upon us.

Sorry. It's just not right when a baby, so loved and wanted, is used by other people to voice their ignorant opinions.

I'm just sad. Thanks for the vent.
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  #2  
March 21st, 2009, 10:13 AM
MrsSteele's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ugh! How rude...I agree with everyone having their own opinions, but some should just be kept to themselves...It doesn't surprise me that this was 1. a man and 2. someone who has no right in the first place to be giving opinions on your family. Don't let one persons opinion affect you hun...having a baby is a beautiful thing, no matter if it is your 1st or 15th, as long as you love each and every one and are able to provide (which it seems like you are super mom already ) You did the right thing by deleting him...I am sure everyone will agree that was rude...chin up momma!
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  #3  
March 21st, 2009, 10:21 AM
.kristen.'s Avatar Raising Little Marines
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That is the way it should be just keep your mouth shut! Trust me if I could have 20 kids I would. I want a huge family, but the military can't afford it haha. I think it is good for you that you are having another one. tell him to take it and shove it!
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  #4  
March 21st, 2009, 10:22 AM
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That was just so rude. Personally for me and my family we will probably only have 2 or 3, but if you want more and can take care of more then it's your decision. I wouldn't judge anyone for having a big family unless of course they weren't taking care of the family they already had...which I know is not your case.

just to add...we have a lot of big families in the DDC don't we?
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  #5  
March 21st, 2009, 10:24 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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im so sorry girl!

I know we don't have as many as yall... but we have a lot of kids compared to most.

Those negative kind of comments are ignorant and RUDE! I have had strangers make comments too.

I try to not let it get to me, but it can.

I totally understand!
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  #6  
March 21st, 2009, 10:26 AM
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I come from a large family (8 brothers/sisters) and I can tell you that my parents got their fair share of unwanted opinions but I wouldn't trade my family FOR ANYTHING!!!

This guy doesn't know you or your situation. With all the negative backlash towards large families (octomom, jon&kate's marriage) its easy for a relative stranger to form an ignorant opinion of how chaotic a big family can be. Just because it wouldn't be his choice to have ten babies doesn't mean its a bad choice for anyone to make! My parents saw each one of us as their miracle and gift- I am sure you feel the same. Some people just have more love to give than others and if you can afford it, keep on keeping on.

Love your DH, love your kids, love your bean and forget about this one jerk who clearly doesn't have the unconditional love that fills your family. I'd pity him.
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  #8  
March 21st, 2009, 10:35 AM
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dont you wish you could jump through the computer screen sometimes and give those kind of people a piece of your mind!? Thats so rude of him. Sorry you have to deal with people like that. Im glad it wasn't someone close to you at least.
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  #9  
March 21st, 2009, 10:39 AM
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screw him. he's just an ignorant jerk. i don't see myself having a large family, but that's a decision that i made with my DH. you and you're DH should be able to have as large of a family as you want.
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  #10  
March 21st, 2009, 12:15 PM
mrscheriezach's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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what a ****

i hate facebook

it seems that everyone has someone in their life thats being a **** about their pregnancy. i have someone like that in mine too, someone close! a family member! im sorry
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  #11  
March 21st, 2009, 12:50 PM
*Crystal*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Eh.. some people should just learn to shut their mouths! It is not like you are that Octomom who doesn't have a income or partner and is relying on the government to pay for your kids! I, myself don't want a large family but I would NEVER judge anyone who wants to have one... Especially someone who takes care of their large family. Don't let anyone get you down. Focus on the ones that are happy for you
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  #12  
March 21st, 2009, 12:55 PM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow, that was very rude!! It's clear they don't know you well or your family. My opinion, if you can support them and take care of them, then by all means, have them! Forget about his rude comment and enjoy your pregnancy and your bean.
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  #13  
March 21st, 2009, 01:05 PM
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Thank you, ladies. I am feeling better about it now and just let his comment get the best of me. Up until a few months ago, I had never come across any rude or negative comments. The only things we ever hear is how beautiful and great our family is and how ell mannered the kids are. We are always very proud. Then our local news called and asked to do a story on my because I had lost a lot of weight while using the Wii (not *because* of using the Wii like they turned the story into but *while* using it. But that's a whole other topic) Anyhow, it was on TV and also on the website and I was crushed with the comments that were being left. It was a story about weight loss and exercise and it was turned into how my family is ruining the Earth, how all of my kids will end up in foster care when we die, how we must be living off the system because NOBODY can afford that many kids, how stupid and uneducated we were, and, most ignorantly of all, comments about my body and what my "parts" must be like after 9 kids. It was horrible. We ended up with way more supportive comments and ones defending us but I regret ever doing it. My older kids, 17 and 14, were excited to show their friends the website at school and read all of the comments.

Needless to say, I am very touchy about people's comments when they attack my family. But, I am getting better at recognizing complete ignorance and blowing it off. If it didn't involve my kids, it wouldn't be so hard.

Thank you again for all of your kind words and support. It all really helped.
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  #14  
March 21st, 2009, 02:25 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It's just plain ignorance. Don't let it get to you.
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  #15  
March 21st, 2009, 02:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sara_ann View Post
That was just so rude. Personally for me and my family we will probably only have 2 or 3, but if you want more and can take care of more then it's your decision. I wouldn't judge anyone for having a big family unless of course they weren't taking care of the family they already had...which I know is not your case.

just to add...we have a lot of big families in the DDC don't we?
Quote:
Originally Posted by drewbears View Post
im so sorry girl!

I know we don't have as many as yall... but we have a lot of kids compared to most.

Those negative kind of comments are ignorant and RUDE! I have had strangers make comments too.

I try to not let it get to me, but it can.

I totally understand!

I agree with both. We are expecting our 6th little bundle of joy. We already get nasty looks and unappreciated remarks while we are out and about. Even my mother is shocked to hear we are having our 6th and final baby.

Don't let what ONE person said get you upset. Don't even give that person a second thought.

It is your family's choice and right to have how ever many kids you want.

If I could physically handle anymore pregnancies after this I would consider more but that's just not possible.

I congratulate you and commed you on being able to have that many and still be able to keep your sanity.

Great big hugs.
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  #16  
March 21st, 2009, 02:42 PM
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How rude! Hang in there chica!
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  #17  
March 21st, 2009, 03:45 PM
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I'm so sorry. I don't know why people react that way! Even though this is just our second child I have noticed the excitement level is not as great as it was for our first. I kinda feel bad for the second child, lol.

I honestly wouldn't have understood the attraction of a large family before I met my dh. I thought that 2-3 was a good size and those that had large families were very brave. But my dh is one of 7. And I LOVE it! When I see the love and closeness his large family shares it makes me wish so much that I could have grown up in a large family too. I wish we had the $$, resources, and time (I'm already 30) to have a large family of our own.

I'm sorry people are so negative. Obviously your children are well loved and well cared for so why does it bother people so much? It's not their kids!
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  #18  
March 21st, 2009, 03:51 PM
Rh♥nda's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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What a jerk! He seems really immature to be judging you when he doesnt even know you that well. I think to each their own, if a big family is your thing than go for it!
Keep your head up!!
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  #19  
March 21st, 2009, 06:01 PM
catherineclare's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
it was turned into how my family is ruining the Earth,
Boy am I sick and tired of hearing this comment from people about large families. I cannot believe that we live in a society that basically call anyone that has more than 2 children (and that's pushing it, one is better ya know) irresponsible because those children are sucking up our resources. Now you look at places like Japan that are giving people time off to go home and reproduce because the population is getting old and dying. Ugh....gonna stop before I get really upset. I say go forth and reproduce! It's your body and your business how many kids you and your husband decide to have. So, just let these nasty comments roll off your back. Obviously this guy is a huge jerk.

Last edited by catherineclare; March 21st, 2009 at 06:02 PM. Reason: left a word out!
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