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  #1  
March 27th, 2009, 02:50 PM
Sincat's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Akron, Ohio
Posts: 771
This is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to write...
I went to the hospital today to get more bloodwork done, my beta levels dropped from 27,000 to 22,000 over the last 48hrs. I spoke to another Dr today who essentially confirmed I was having a miscarriage. I was referred to a specialist, he went over all of my labs/paperwork & he is about 95% certain I am having a miscarriage as well, but he wants me to have one more ultrasound Monday afternoon just to be 100% certain. I'm supposed to go back to see the specialist right after my ultrasound so we can discuss the results, he will probably schedule me for a D&C on Tuesday. I just can't believe this is happenning to me. I am almost 11 weeks. I thought I was "out of the woods". I heard the baby's heartbeat 2 weeks ago for God's sake! I know miscarriages are very common, but that doesn't make them any easier. I keep going over in my head trying to figure out what happenned or what I did wrong. Did I stress too much? Drink to much caffeine? Did I hurt the baby when I was straining to go to the restroom? Is this a sign from God? Am I not supposed to have children? I just can't make sense of this all. I feel so angry & so alone. I thank you ladies for all of your support & concern, it really does mean a lot to me. I wish you all a happy & healthy pregnancy.
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  #2  
March 27th, 2009, 03:00 PM
Mrs.Shirley's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,026
I am so so sorry you are going through this. Having a miscarriage is the hardest thing I have ever been through. I will keep you and dh in my thoughts and prayers.
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  #3  
March 27th, 2009, 03:02 PM
*Crystal*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,458
I am so sorry.
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  #4  
March 27th, 2009, 03:12 PM
MrsSteele's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: York, PA
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I so very sorry...I just can't even imagine that feeling...
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  #5  
March 27th, 2009, 03:24 PM
Violette's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: RI
Posts: 370
I am so sorry

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  #6  
March 27th, 2009, 03:35 PM
.kristen.'s Avatar Raising Little Marines
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Location: North Carolina
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I've been there and it is so hard especially at first. You are a strong woman for going through it and I am here if you ever want to talk! I'm always online and having someone to talk to is the best thing to have and the support of your husband. Hugs!
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  #7  
March 27th, 2009, 03:43 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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im so sorry.
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  #8  
March 27th, 2009, 03:44 PM
Bama08mommy4's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 71
I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I am SO sorry.
Find peace in the fact that it is absolutely nothing you did or didn't do or anything
you could of prevented. These things happen. Just remember God has a plan for
you, your husband, and your future family.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your husband. You are a strong
woman ((((HUGS)))) We are here to listen, anytime.
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  #9  
March 27th, 2009, 03:49 PM
Bama08mommy4's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 71
double post sorry
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  #10  
March 27th, 2009, 03:53 PM
disturbedangel121's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry hun.. Miscarriages are extremely hard and if you ever need to talk I'm here. Don't think too hard about what happened chances are it was nothing you could have prevented and blaming yourself is the worst thing you could do. You'll be in my T&P.
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  #11  
March 27th, 2009, 04:18 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Posts: 595
Huge hugs to you. I'm so sorry for your loss!
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  #12  
March 27th, 2009, 05:02 PM
Snowpeas
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I'm so incredibly sad to hear this. Your little one has been in my prayers since you posted. There is NOTHING you did wrong, please don't blame yourself. Unfortunately, sometimes our babies just don't continue to develop as they should. I had an early miscarriage (5 weeks in July) and it really, really affected me for many months and I still think about that little baby today. With that baby I didn't have an u/s or get to see a heartbeat, I imagine seeing that would make it that much harder. I wish you healing both physically and emotionally.
I know in my heart that you will be a momma, I am so sure of that. Lots of to you.

I also wanted to add there are a couple wonderful boards here on JM: pregnancy loss, and ttc after a loss that might help. Those ladies have all BTDT and are very supportive and encouraging. Sometimes just being able to get your feelings out and know that others have felt that way too helps.
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  #13  
March 27th, 2009, 05:07 PM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 27,123
Oh sweetie, I'm so very sorry. I know your thoughts exactly and I know you'll drive yourself nuts wondering why. I still do it, it's just so hard to let go and accept "it just happens" but you have to keep telling yourself that. It wasn't anything you did, I promise!! I asked my Dr through tears, if it was too much caffeine, tylenol, lunch meat, etc, etc, etc and she assured me it wasn't anything I did. 99.9% of the time it's in the baby, it just wasn't developing correcting. And that doesn't mean arms or anything like that, it means in the science of it, it just wasn't clicking like it should be.
I know it doesn't make it easier and I know nothing any of us say is going to make the wondering or the why's go away.
Just take some time for yourself, let yourself be mad, sad and anything else you need to be.
If you need to stay in pj's for a month, then do it.
It really is something only those that have been through really understand, just the emptiness and ache.
Again I'm so sorry.
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  #14  
March 27th, 2009, 05:10 PM
Genevieve's_mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Toledo OH
Posts: 2,389
Im so sorry. i hope you get back into another ddc quickly! GL (((hugs)))
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  #15  
March 27th, 2009, 05:13 PM
MaddApple's Avatar Expecting a boy 10/21/09
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I'm so sorry. I had my first miscarriage in 2006. It was the hardest thing I ever went though. I still think about that baby and when I think about it I still cry. I think about it on it's angel day and my due date. I never got to see it's heartbeat or move. I was given a u/s photo when my ob/gyn was confirming the miscarriage. I will have you in my prayers and thoughts.
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  #16  
March 27th, 2009, 05:15 PM
** Tay **'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,148
I am so sorry, Hon. Please try to keep telling yourself that there is nothing that you could have done to change this, its in Gods hands and he will take care of you!!
Im keeping you and your family in my t & p's...
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  #17  
March 27th, 2009, 05:17 PM
*Hayley*
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i'm so very sorry.
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  #18  
March 27th, 2009, 05:24 PM
mrscheriezach's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,364
I am so sorry.
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  #19  
March 27th, 2009, 05:30 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry.
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  #20  
March 27th, 2009, 05:40 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,399
I'm so sorry! I've been in your shoes too, miscarrying at 10 weeks. Don't blame yourself, it's nothing you did or didn't do, it sometimes just happens.
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