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Forum: 2009 Playroom


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March 29th, 2009, 06:13 PM
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Yikes!! Maybe he's just freaking out, and will come around? And I must have missed what happened with your mom?

I hope you two can talk when he's calmed down. I know sometimes men just don't get it.
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March 29th, 2009, 06:15 PM
October 2012 DDC co-host
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,285
I missed what happened with your mom too, but I just wanted to send a huge hug!!! Does he have single friends? I'm just wondering if maybe he's feeling really scared...scared about growing up, scared about the RESPONSIBILITY overall (not just financial). I think he'll come around

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March 29th, 2009, 06:22 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 5,500
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I think it's natural for a man to be worried about the financial responsibilities that come with having a child. It's even worse in these economic times. I'm sure he will come around. It sounds like he just freaked out.
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March 29th, 2009, 06:25 PM
GinaS.'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,097
Oh, Crystal - I am so sorry to hear that!! But please don't worry. I am more then sure it is just the "cold feet" of babyhood! He's probably just nervous and I'm sure he didn't mean what he said. Our hubsters go through so many changes during this time, just like we do, except we can blame it on hormones - while theirs are probably just straight nerves. I'm sure you two will be making up shortly, but in the meantime....((((HUGS)))) I'll be thinking of you!!!!! I feel horrible that you're sad!
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March 29th, 2009, 07:05 PM
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wow. i don't know to say really. if it were me, i'd have a good old heart to heart about what it means to be a husband and father and it's time for him to step up to the plate.

are you still in college? DH and I were both still in school when we got pregnant with DS, and were engaged but definitely not TTC. If you ever want to pm me, feel free.
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March 29th, 2009, 07:19 PM
pearlica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,442
My bf went through the same feelings. We had been together 3 years and unexpectedly got pregnant and the shock of responsibility and financial burden really freaked him out. He said some things that really stressed me out as well. That he thought it would ruin our relationship and he wasnt ready for this. It wasnt long before he apologized for his reaction saying he was in shock and felt like he didnt have any choice. He's been on board ever since and has been great. I'd say give him time to cool off and realize what a jerk he was. I'm sure he'll come around and that it was a moment of "oh my god I'm supposed to be having a baby and I dont know whats going to happen!!"
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March 29th, 2009, 07:24 PM
fishysticks's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: South-Eastern Virginia
Posts: 20,417
the childish ways are never totally gone!

Honestly, if you wait until you are COMPLETELY 'ready' to have a baby, especially financially, you'll never have one! They really aren't as expensive as people will try to scare you into believing.

Having a baby is a SCARY thing. I freaked out so many times during my pregnancy with my first. I'm sure things will be ok once you have a talk with him
Jenny, Mommy to Holden Milo 9-17-07 & Parker Cadence 9-30-09

Read my blog: Holdin' Holden!!

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March 29th, 2009, 09:04 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hope everything works out!

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March 29th, 2009, 11:08 PM
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My dh went through something similar when we got pregnant with Olivia (and he was 36!). We had both talked about having kids and both agreed to start trying. Then I got pregnant and he freaked out - he didn't even act happy about it first. I was so confused and hurt.

It turns out once the baby was actually on the way it became real to him and he was worried about being a good provider (must be a guy thing).

It wasn't too long though and he came around and started to get excited about it. From then on he was super involved in the pregnancy. But it was scary for a while.

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March 30th, 2009, 05:14 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 39,051
I hope it's just some anxiety on his end and that he'll get over it soon. You don't need to be worrying about him on top of everything else. If he seems to still be having issues I'd suggest some counseling for you as a couple so hopefully you can work things out.

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March 30th, 2009, 05:22 AM
.kristen.'s Avatar Raising Little Marines
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Oh, I get that way but I kinda can't walk away, especially with KJ. I was wondering I was only 19-20 and was I really ready for kids. But it is probably just anxiety about the situation. Seriously when he holds the baby he won't feel that way anymore.

Thanks to cavewoman

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March 30th, 2009, 06:06 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Charlotte, NC
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Good luck talking things out. I am sure that he is just freaked out because its getting "real" for him. My dh is also in a fraternity (and I'm a sorority girl). We've been married four years and it was HIS idea to start TTC. Of course he's now obsessed with saving money and providing for us. To hear him talk, the bank will take away our house and we'll be eating gov. cheese. This from a man who (thank God) has a great, steady job and has never missed a payment in his life. Its normal. They can't deal as well as we can.

KUP with how things work out and I hope that you're ok.
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March 30th, 2009, 06:06 AM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Ohio
Posts: 27,123
Men ALWAYS worry about the financial responsibilities, ALWAYS! We have the mothering instincts and nurturing and they have the "providing" instincts and they worry. DH worries about money too but it certainly doesn't mean he regrets our decision to have #3.
With this being your 1, your DH is still learning how to deal with your hormones and what he should and shouldn't say to you. I know it's so hard to control your hormones when you get mad and he's still not use to those raging hormones yet.
I'm sure you BOTH said things you regret and wish you wouldn't have. Time is a big deal in an argument and you just let things calm down and then talk them out.
Everything will be ok, just have a heart to heart without fighting. Good luck!

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March 30th, 2009, 09:49 AM
mommy2Breana+Brandon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: PA
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I am so sorry you are going thru this.

I hope things get better for you soon

Do you love food, entertaining, cooking?!?! Then you will LOVE Tastefully Simple. www.tastefullysimple.com/web/cpisch

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