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BTDT moms what should new moms expect after the birth


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  #1  
April 21st, 2009, 09:02 AM
Candace0183's Avatar Veteran
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BTDT moms can you provide any insight into what a new mom will experience after giving birth.

For example, what maybe to expect in the hospital. What you body went through. How you feel overall. How was breastfeeding. What happened when your milk came in...etc. etc. etc. I don't want to scare anybody...LOL...but I truly wasn't prepared for after delivery and maybe the week or two that followed.
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  #2  
April 21st, 2009, 09:06 AM
Mystic_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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One thing I hadn't known about before was that after you have the baby you start to have cramps because your uterus has to firm up back to the way it was. When (if) you breastfeed, you feel it worse. You can expect to bleed for a long while after too, I think I bled for 4 weeks.
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  #3  
April 21st, 2009, 09:11 AM
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Uh.. Mine wasn't a fun experience.. My labor lasted 32 hours. This is time in the hospital hooked up to a Pitocin drip and not "sitting at home". I had so much fluid pump into me, I had awful swelling after I had Adriana.. So bad I had to use a walker to get around for a week or so.. It would hurt when I walked due to the swelling.. It really sucked. But I think this is a rare case because my labor was soo long.. But my inducement was medically necessary and not by choice.. It was worth it..
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  #4  
April 21st, 2009, 09:16 AM
~KMV~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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can i just wear Depends, for the bleeding???
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  #5  
April 21st, 2009, 09:18 AM
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I can't speak for after a c-section but I can speak for after a vaginal birth.

Immediately after birth you will bleed - A LOT. Thankfully I was warned about this because I got up after having Olivia to clean up and blood was running down my leg and seemed to be everywhere. This is NORMAL. It soon settles down - within a few days it resembled a heavy to moderate period. You will bleed for weeks, it keeps getting lighter until it turns light yellow and then disappears. It took 6 weeks for me.

You will be tender and swollen down there - whether you tore or not. I walked for a few days like I'd been riding a horse too long, lol. Because everything was stretched out and swollen. It didn't really hurt, it was more tender. Also I'll never forget the first time I reached down and felt a huge swelling down there - it felt as big as a grapefruit - it goes away! Make use of the ice packs they give you after birth and use the tucks pads. They help with swelling and will help you heal faster. Also use the sitz bath - they really help too.

I had a second degree- almost 3rd degree tear. It's not as bad as it sounds. The worst part was when the stitches were healing and everything felt tight and itchy - a sign of healing. Sitting on a donut really helps if you're feeling tender (as I was due to hemorrhoids that appeared after pushing so long).

You will still look surprisingly pregnant after giving birth. But instead of being taut and stretched your belly will be mushy and like jello. It's not a nice feeling and can be quite depressing if you're not expecting it. It takes awhile even after your uterus goes back to normal BUT it will get better. Your skin will probably be a little loser than it was before (I have a little pouch of extra skin but it was hidden under my pants - no one knew). It firms up after awhile and once you start doing exercises it will really make a difference. Just give it time and don't be too hard on yourself. Your body needs much more time than 6 weeks to get back to "normal" but your body will return (never quite the same but still good.

When your milk comes in your breasts will feel huge (think Pamela Anderson) and hard as rocks. If you're going to nurse that will help a lot. Nursing may be a natural thing but it's not instinctive. It takes time for both mom and baby to adjust too. Give yourself time and ask for lots of help in the hospital to learn. Also for me the initial latch on was painful for the first two weeks. It really hurt, but it does go away. Your nipples just have to adjust to having a very hungry newborn sucking on them. If you can make it through the first few weeks you are home-free. I am so glad I stuck with it.

I was on a emotional high that lasted for almost a week, then I crashed. Having a newborn is exhausting!! You "nap" when you can, you never get more than an hour of sleep (at least I didn't when I was breastfeeding). I have never been so tired in my life and longed for a good 4 hour stretch of sleep! Within a few weeks though they will start to sleep a little better as their stomach gets bigger.

Also you will be very emotional trying to cope with the hormones crashing. Don't have huge expectations of yourself. Focus on taking care of yourself and your new baby. Forget cooking, housework, etc. Let your spouse or someone else do that. The more you try to do, the harder and longer your recovery. Take all the time you can and sleep whenever possible.

Have your spouse take over a night feeding if possible (if you're nursing pump before hand) so you can get a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep.

It's an absolutely amazing, magical time, especially if you know what to expect.

That's all I can think of for now.
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  #6  
April 21st, 2009, 09:23 AM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, I guess what surprised me was the swelling on my va-jay-jay. lol I had a c/section and still got super swollen. Freaked me out!
With my 2nd, I didn't swell like that.
Your uterus contracts, even after the baby to tighten back up. It's a weird feeling and not very comfortable.
After my c/sections, they came in all the time to press HARD on my belly to make sure all the blood was coming out, as it should. HURTS like a M-Fer!!
Boobs... With my first I was sitting there, talking to my Mom on the phone.. I felt wet.. looked down and my nightgown was SOAKED! lol My boobs leaked everywhere! It made me laugh so hard because I wasn't expecting that at all.
With my 2nd, my boobs got SO HUGE and ROCK HARD and HURT like a B*TCH!!! It hurt to move my arm, hurt to lay on my side, hurt to look at!! lol I wasn't BFing, so they were engorged and OMG, that is NOT fun!!
Also, be prepared to be woken up EVERYTIME you fall asleep by a nurse wanting to check your crotch or shove a thermometer down your throat or steal blood.
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  #7  
April 21st, 2009, 09:23 AM
Candace0183's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KMLV810 View Post
can i just wear Depends, for the bleeding???
I'm not sure how Depends work. But as far as the bleeding, for me it was a heavy AF type flow. Mine didn't last that long maybe 2 weeks. The Hospital gives you really thick, long pads. I ended up using overnight pads.
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  #8  
April 21st, 2009, 09:26 AM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Olivia+peanut View Post

You will still look surprisingly pregnant after giving birth. But instead of being taut and stretched your belly will be mushy and like jello. It's not a nice feeling and can be quite depressing if you're not expecting it. It takes awhile even after your uterus goes back to normal BUT it will get better. Your skin will probably be a little loser than it was before (I have a little pouch of extra skin but it was hidden under my pants - no one knew).
DITTO!!! It's a very weird feeling to look down, LOOK pregnant and know you are NOT. Then you touch it and it's all jiggly and loose and gross. lol It DOES get better.
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  #9  
April 21st, 2009, 09:31 AM
Mystic_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I just wanted to add too that I had troubles for a while after giving birth with bladder control. I'm not sure if it was from vaginal labor or because I had a catheter in for four days after giving birth. I had the catheter because I got preeclampsia after I gave birth instead of before. This is rare but can happen. I was on strict bed rest at the hospital because of the high blood pressure. After I was home I would have to hurry to the bathroom as soon as I felt the need to pee, and sometimes I wouldn't make it there before peeing my pants. I did not expect that.
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  #10  
April 21st, 2009, 09:31 AM
Candace0183's Avatar Veteran
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For me, I don't want to say the "worst" part because it makes it sound bad. But the most uncomfortable parts were when my milk came in. It looked like I had 2 ballons in my bra. I had some ice packs left over from the hospital so I put them on my chest under my sports bra. They just HURT. I looked like I had inplants. They didn't move at all. Next was how lose my core was. I just felt like jello. I couldn't walk for long periods of time. I couldn't lift anything too heavy. This is because as the baby is growing your abdominals spread apart. After you give birth, they are still spread apart. I don't remember the cramping so it must not have been that bad. I do remember taking motrin though.

I ended up having a crash after about a week also. I just remember being soooo sleepy. I was living with my parents at the time and I just lost it. I was crying and I just wanted them to take the baby and to please let me sleep. They did. I went to bed for a couple of hours and I felt much better. Remember to ask for help if you need it. If you have family or friends who can come over just so you can sleep, ask them to help.
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  #11  
April 21st, 2009, 09:38 AM
Snowpeas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystic_Mommy View Post
I just wanted to add too that I had troubles for a while after giving birth with bladder control. I'm not sure if it was from vaginal labor or because I had a catheter in for four days after giving birth. I had the catheter because I got preeclampsia after I gave birth instead of before. This is rare but can happen. I was on strict bed rest at the hospital because of the high blood pressure. After I was home I would have to hurry to the bathroom as soon as I felt the need to pee, and sometimes I wouldn't make it there before peeing my pants. I did not expect that.
to this. I had the same thing. Olivia's head was stuck for almost an hour and I think it traumatized my bladder and my bowels.
I would feel that I would have to pee and before I could get to a bathroom I would be going.

I learned that bladder control pads work great - both for bladder and for bleeding. Much better than regular pads IMO.

I also had trouble with my bowels for the first few days (again because her head was in a very weird place). I usually could dash to the bathroom (but couldn't hold it for longer than 10 seconds!) and once I didn't make it. Felt so horrible! Apparently this can happen but no one talks about it. It wasn't long before things were much, much better.
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  #12  
April 21st, 2009, 09:39 AM
fishysticks's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My milk never came in so I can't help there- but I cramped, a LOT.. bled, passed clots.. my cooch hurt SO bad (I had 2 episiotomies) that I literally cried myself to sleep for weeks after I gave birth, I could hardly even sit.

and I have to ditto the bladder control issue. I NEVER had problems while pregnant like a lot of women do, but after giving birth every time I felt like I needed to pee, I literally could not hold it and i'd end up tinkling myself a little. When I had to go, it meant I needed to get to a restroom ASAP
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  #13  
April 21st, 2009, 10:44 AM
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Breastfeeding. LIKELY will hurt..... once you get through the first 6 weeks though its awesome and SO worth it. It is natural, BUT both you and baby have to learn to do it. Try to not stress... baby can sense that. Ask for help!

Take a stool softener no matter if you have a c-sec or vaginal birth.... I am scared to poo after birth LOL

Bring your own pads.. the hospital ones are nasty.

Your hormones will be all out of wack. I have hot flashes and wake up drenched in sweat for a few weeks often.

Take it easy.... rest when baby does.

Its your baby... you do what feels right for you and your baby... don't go by what the books say and everyone else giving you unwanted advice....

Dont' be afraid to ask people to wash their hands before touching or holding your baby!

Breastfeeding. LIKELY will hurt..... once you get through the first 6 weeks though its awesome and SO worth it. It is natural, BUT both you and baby have to learn to do it. Try to not stress... baby can sense that. Ask for help!

Take a stool softener no matter if you have a c-sec or vaginal birth.... I am scared to poo after birth LOL

Bring your own pads.. the hospital ones are nasty.

Your hormones will be all out of wack. I have hot flashes and wake up drenched in sweat for a few weeks often.

Take it easy.... rest when baby does.

Its your baby... you do what feels right for you and your baby... don't go by what the books say and everyone else giving you unwanted advice....

Dont' be afraid to ask people to wash their hands before touching or holding your baby!
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  #14  
April 21st, 2009, 11:04 AM
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I sure wish I had thought to get the breast pump asap for that whole engorgement night. OOOWWW!! My milk came in the first night we were home, when the babe was sleeping, and I was in misery, wow did they hurt. Plus, when the little guy tried to nurse, it was like trying to feed a hamster with a hose. Kind of funny, but not at all effective! I think there was milk everywhere except in his belly
This time, I'm pumping early, and maybe it won't be so crazy. I hear that some hospitals will loan you one of their industrial models, too. I'm going to check that out as well.
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  #15  
April 21st, 2009, 11:30 AM
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the nipple pain OMG, if it hurts to get the baby to latch, ask for assistance!

with my 1st I had an epis and tons of stitches, though I was afraid to poo, the peeing was worst, it burned so bad I cried each time I peed for days, also, the blood, I was not prepared for it to come out as fast as pee does. Everytime I peed the toilet bowl was bright red while in the hospital, and the clots.. Scary..

With my second, I had only pushed twice, once for the head, once for the shoulders and OMG... the hemorrhoids. I swear, listen to Jenn, stool softeners-Start taking religiously before labor! Also, do NOT push off pooping until you have no choice-big mistake!

Do NOT let nurses/drs/visitors talk you into doing anything you dont want to do, or doing anything you dont want to do.

Take advantage of the nursery! Baby will be with you 24/7 as soon as you leave. Let the nurses take the baby so you can snooze, and shower, and relax. At night, especially! I let them take both boys, and bring them to me to BF.

If you want footprints right in your baby book, let them know before hand. Have the book already opened to the page and make sure DH is on top of getting them to put them right in as soon as they are doing the footprints.

I have more..
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  #16  
April 21st, 2009, 11:34 AM
hoping4more
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after birth i had a second degree tear with both. the ice packs help a lot. motrine helps a lot
take the stool softener, i was afraid to poop right afterwards to. i probably bleed for apprx. 6-7 weeks afterwards. it starts off heavy then turns into just annoyingly still there.

i nursed and had a horrible time with my first, i would cry whenever i had to nurse him, but he was a wicked pacifier! he would nurse for at least one hour straight, and he didnt latch well. i actually have scars on my nipples. tmi. with my second it never hurt! he was a great nurser, he didnt pacify when he was done that was it no more and he latched perfectly. you will most likely be sore try using lanolin 100 i liked that one a lot. i prefer the ones you dont have to clean off before nursing.

placing a warm face cloth on your boobs when you get engorged really helps a lot.

i agree afterwards your belly is like all jello. i couldnt do more then half a sit up for +the longest time... and i would do like 100 prior pregnancy. that threw me for a loop. but dont worry, yoiur body will firm up again. it may never be exactly the same, but you need to learn to like your new shape

i also had pee problems for a little while, holding it in just doesnt seem to work. i dont know if the muscle is stretched or what, but expect that you will probably dribble a little on the way to the bathroom.

also know that even though some things sound horrible, they really arent that bad. i mean many women are here and excited for their next baby. just because difficult times come our way doesnt mean that they arent well worth it, and they do go away.

most things no one else knows about except you also. no one knows if you are swollen, leaking, or jello like

stitches desolve you dont need them removed by the way.

you arent supposed to have sex for 6 weeks afterwards... not that i wanted to anyway.

cant think of anything else...

except for the cramps as your uterus goes down in size, hurts worse if nursing ive been told. i nursed both times so dont know otherwise. they gave me motrine with my first and sent me home with pres. gave me oxy with my second again i got pres. the second time you give brith they hurt more... i dont know why.
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  #17  
April 21st, 2009, 11:43 AM
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What surprised me was how quickly I got physically worn out for about the first week or so. A day or 2 after we came home we went for a very short slow walk. By the time we got home my legs were shaking like Jello.

Don't be afraid to tell well meaning friends and family that you need some bonding time with just you, baby, and DH or that you aren't up to visitors.

Make friends with the wonderful little squirt bottle they give you in the hospital. Fill it with warm water before you go to the bathroom. Use it every time you go. It feels so good and helps minimize any chance for infection.
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  #18  
April 21st, 2009, 12:19 PM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Haha lots of info! I'm sure it sounds worse than it is, or no one would be having babies haha. Should be interesting to go through... I def just want to lounge with the baby for like the first 2 weeks with no visitors. Thanks everybody for sharing!
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  #19  
April 21st, 2009, 03:53 PM
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No one warned me at my hosptial that they did naked baby weights... at MIDNIGHT! OMG. And I was too afraid to send ds to the nursery...

With DD, I sent her to nursery at night and they brought her when she wanted to eat... I'm definitely using the nursery at night again.

Another thing that surprised me with my first is how the nurse man-handled my boob to try to help with breastfeeding. I mean I felt assaulted!

If you are bf'ing you NEED NEED Lansinoh... heaven on my nipples. HEAVEN. And its safe for baby to nurse with it on your nipples so no need to be really careful to wipe it all off. I did wipe it off, just for feedings, even though I didn't need to.

Nursing Pads (whether you're nursing or not.) They keep your nipples protected from your evil bra.

That's all I can think of for now!!
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  #20  
April 21st, 2009, 04:12 PM
megan72782's Avatar Veteran
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Everything has pretty much been said, but I just wanted to add that after I had my first, my whole body was different. I mean my hips were wider, and instantly you have all of that weight off of your stomach, so walking for the first time was WEIRD. lol

I felt totally off balance. I was so used to walking with my stomach in front of me, so when I stood up for the first time, it was comepletely different.
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