Log In Sign Up

I have to say this... not keeping it in


Forum: 2009 Playroom

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Closed Topic Post New Topic
  Subscribe To 2009 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 23rd, 2009, 03:01 PM
michelleof4's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Hamlin NY
Posts: 288
Send a message via Yahoo to michelleof4
i have seen some posts about wanting one sex they want. and they find out the baby is going to be the opposite of what they wanted..

WHO CARES....

its a freaking baby in your stomach. many woman out there would LOVE to have a child.,. and wouldnt care if it was a boy or girl..

think of these woman that are TTC and cant.. medically.. they would take a baby either sex..

God gives you what he wants..
__________________





  #2  
April 23rd, 2009, 03:08 PM
Gabe's_Mommy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 454
I agree.
  #3  
April 23rd, 2009, 03:15 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Lancaster, PA
Posts: 2,182
Send a message via Yahoo to shannonkcc
I think they are actually very happy but everyone wants a certain thing and when you don't get it it can be upsetting. They aren't actually angry and willing to get rid of it or anything. Its just a feeling they have. They are quite entitled to it. I want a boy this time around. I would be upset to have another girl but very much appreciative to have a baby non the less. I wouldn't love her any differently. I was one of those women who couldnt conceive. I had 3 m/c before I got this one. It doesn't make me a bad person for wanting a certain sex.
__________________

Thank you "Babydoll213" for a beautiful siggie.



  #4  
April 23rd, 2009, 03:18 PM
mommy2Breana+Brandon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: PA
Posts: 39,401
I think everyone is happy with what they have maybe a little disappointed at first.
__________________

Do you love food, entertaining, cooking?!?! Then you will LOVE Tastefully Simple. www.tastefullysimple.com/web/cpisch

  #5  
April 23rd, 2009, 03:20 PM
Gabe's_Mommy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 454
I guess, i can kind of understand. But i dont really care what i have....probably because ive had a miscarriage in the past, and im not too picky...because of that.
  #6  
April 23rd, 2009, 03:23 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Mommy Land, CT
Posts: 11,118
Send a message via AIM to momopotamus Send a message via MSN to momopotamus
I understand where you are coming from but I can also understand someone being upset. Its a natural reaction when you don't get what you are really hoping for. I don't think anyone is going to love their child any less regardless of their gender. I know that when I find out, if I have another boy, I'll be a bit emotional, because I'd love a little girl of my own, and also because if I have another boy, theres a good chance he will encounter the same problems that my son has in life (Autism, Marshalls syndrome). Though I was fully prepared to face that again when we were trying, Im sure it will hit me pretty hard once reality sets in (if its a boy). But none the less, it wont change anything towards my child. Its a big let down for some people, and I know it may rub others the wrong way, but I think she was just looking to vent and gain support.. I don't think there were any ungrateful intentions behind it.
__________________

TTC#4 since 09/13 Anovulatory cycles 9/13-3/14 Clomid 50mg- No O
Current cycle 3/19/14 Clomid 100mg 3-7 Waiting to O
  #7  
April 23rd, 2009, 03:24 PM
michelleof4's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Hamlin NY
Posts: 288
Send a message via Yahoo to michelleof4
im saying that of course people would have a right to feel disappointed..

im just taken back by how many people feel like this..

either way i dont care... these babies are a gift from heaven..
__________________





  #8  
April 23rd, 2009, 03:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,000
I think all the mommies on this board who have been dissappointed with the sex of the baby are truly blessed to have what ever "god" gives them.

Although they were not given the sex they wanted i dont think they will love this child any less . Its just a shock reaction that we all get over quickly.

And not to sound rude but im sure we all including youself desire one sex over the other.

We all want to be mother to LIL BOYS and we all want to be mothers to LIL GIRLS, I dont think its wrong for us to be a lil upset for not getting what we want. REGARLESS OF THE SEX OF THAT "freaking baby in your stomach" THAT BABY WILL BE LOVED REGARLESS.
__________________
Our lil Mystery baby




Last edited by yoyomama; April 23rd, 2009 at 03:40 PM.
  #9  
April 23rd, 2009, 04:12 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Melbourne, Aust.
Posts: 64,110
Quote:
Originally Posted by michelleof4 View Post
i have seen some posts about wanting one sex they want. and they find out the baby is going to be the opposite of what they wanted..

WHO CARES....

its a freaking baby in your stomach. many woman out there would LOVE to have a child.,. and wouldnt care if it was a boy or girl..

think of these woman that are TTC and cant.. medically.. they would take a baby either sex..

God gives you what he wants..
I fully agree. It breaks me heart to hear people say they are upset by the thought of another baby boy in particular. I would give anything to have mine back.
__________________

Thanks to Claire1979 for the amazing siggy.


Tweet Tweet Facebook Bloggin'

Our Angel Baby on Facebook

  #10  
April 23rd, 2009, 04:37 PM
catherineclare's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,290
Quote:
I fully agree. It breaks me heart to hear people say they are upset by the thought of another baby boy in particular. I would give anything to have mine back.
MellieB- I am very sorry for your loss. I am not going to sit here and even try to pretend I know what you went through and what you continue to go through. I am so happy that you are being blessed with another little one though. I am praying for your baby to be nice and healthy

As far as the other ladies go that have said they would be disappointed if they had another boy...I have made that comment. I do not know the sex of mine yet and won't until June 1st, but in the meantime I am prepping myself to see boy parts. I think a lot of us that already have boys so desperately want a girl is because I think most women have always wanted a girl since childhood. I don't know...you just always want something you can put in dresses, do their hair, and have those deep mom-daughter chats with etc. I know I grew up playing with little girl babydolls and I just always wanted a girl. I didn't grow up with boys or around any at all so when I found out I was having a boy I felt like I was being thrown into foreign territory! It was ok though. God gave me exactly what I needed at that time in my life. I ended up being a single mom for a long time and my son and I are extremely tight. I wouldn't trade him for the world. Now this time around I would like a girl for myself, but almost more for my husband. He is just one of those guys that would be awesome with a little girl. Plus, like a lot of women on here this will more than likely be our last so a girl would just round out the family nicely. Either way though we're going with the motto 'We'll get what we're given!'.

So, while I'm not for incessant complaining about having the opposite sex of what you wanted, I can understand some disappointment. I think when you have your hopes up and you go in and see what you were maybe hoping to not see you're just a little in shock..lol. The important thing is as our pregnancies progress and we start buying baby stuff and the new mommies start having showers everyone will be very excited. These babies are all going to be surrounded with total love when they make their debuts in this big bad world! Oh before I forget, while I have never had trouble conceiving my heart goes out to those moms that do. That is not an easy thing to go through at all, but even I know some people that have had problems and still were hoping for a particular sex OR when they had one baby and were trying for another hoped for the opposite of what they already had. I think it's kind of human nature (right or wrong) to hope for things.

One more thing and I will quit rambling..lol God will give us all what we're supposed to have. I prayed before I even started trying to let me get pregnant on HIS time and with what He wanted me to have...so when I am watching little baby girls toddle around I try to keep that in mind.

Here's hoping everyone continues to have awesome pregnancies and anyone that is having baby problems that they clear up on their own!
  #11  
April 23rd, 2009, 04:48 PM
TulipDawn's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Vicenza, Italy
Posts: 7,155
Send a message via Yahoo to TulipDawn
Quote:
Originally Posted by catherineclare View Post
MellieB- I am very sorry for your loss. I am not going to sit here and even try to pretend I know what you went through and what you continue to go through. I am so happy that you are being blessed with another little one though. I am praying for your baby to be nice and healthy

As far as the other ladies go that have said they would be disappointed if they had another boy...I have made that comment. I do not know the sex of mine yet and won't until June 1st, but in the meantime I am prepping myself to see boy parts. I think a lot of us that already have boys so desperately want a girl is because I think most women have always wanted a girl since childhood. I don't know...you just always want something you can put in dresses, do their hair, and have those deep mom-daughter chats with etc. I know I grew up playing with little girl babydolls and I just always wanted a girl. I didn't grow up with boys or around any at all so when I found out I was having a boy I felt like I was being thrown into foreign territory! It was ok though. God gave me exactly what I needed at that time in my life. I ended up being a single mom for a long time and my son and I are extremely tight. I wouldn't trade him for the world. Now this time around I would like a girl for myself, but almost more for my husband. He is just one of those guys that would be awesome with a little girl. Plus, like a lot of women on here this will more than likely be our last so a girl would just round out the family nicely. Either way though we're going with the motto 'We'll get what we're given!'.

So, while I'm not for incessant complaining about having the opposite sex of what you wanted, I can understand some disappointment. I think when you have your hopes up and you go in and see what you were maybe hoping to not see you're just a little in shock..lol. The important thing is as our pregnancies progress and we start buying baby stuff and the new mommies start having showers everyone will be very excited. These babies are all going to be surrounded with total love when they make their debuts in this big bad world! Oh before I forget, while I have never had trouble conceiving my heart goes out to those moms that do. That is not an easy thing to go through at all, but even I know some people that have had problems and still were hoping for a particular sex OR when they had one baby and were trying for another hoped for the opposite of what they already had. I think it's kind of human nature (right or wrong) to hope for things.

One more thing and I will quit rambling..lol God will give us all what we're supposed to have. I prayed before I even started trying to let me get pregnant on HIS time and with what He wanted me to have...so when I am watching little baby girls toddle around I try to keep that in mind.

Here's hoping everyone continues to have awesome pregnancies and anyone that is having baby problems that they clear up on their own!
Well put.
__________________
  #12  
April 23rd, 2009, 05:07 PM
CriscoNinja
Guest
Posts: n/a
I think as some other ladies have said it's human nature to desire one sex over the other...

Here's my 2 cents for what they're worth:

I think it's OK to be disappointed. However, if you dwell on it that can't be good. I don't see any of the ladies who expressed a little disappointment wallowing in it. They just got their feelings out and that was that. MellieB I'm so sorry for your loss, but i don't believe these ladies are in any way wishing to NOT have their little boys...it's just a reaction to finding out they aren't getting the little girl they were hoping for. I don't think it means they will love their sons any less... I can't imagine what its like to lose a child, I would probably lose my mind. I can understand though your reaction (on a different level). I lost my mother to cancer when I was 19 and it hurts to hear or read sometimes posts on here where people don't get along with their moms when I'd give my left leg to just have lunch with mine again... YKWIM?

  #13  
April 23rd, 2009, 05:25 PM
billie1978's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,960
Although I will be extremely happy with a boy or a girl, I am praying that I will be blessed with a girl. I have three boys already and this will be my last child. I have always wanted a daughter and this is my last chance. I know that God will give me whatever he wants me to have, but there is NOTHING wrong with hoping for one sex over the other. If I have another boy, then I will love him just as much as any other. And, although I am hoping and praying for a daughter, I would never call him/her a freaking baby in my stomach! That's a little harsh don't ya think?!?! I think these babies that we are carrying are precious bundles of joy. I do feel for the ladies who can't conceive (my sister and sister-in-law are one of them), but I would be willing to bet that even some of them would prefer to have one sex over the other if they could have a choice.
__________________







  #15  
April 23rd, 2009, 05:49 PM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fort Campbell KY
Posts: 79
here is how i see it, i have had two miscarriges and with this child im greatful for whatever i have. i think a first child dont really matter to anyone, its when you already have that gender and you and your other half have decdided to only have 2 or 3 kids and this is your last chance kinda deal i can understand where someone can get upset. its not that they will love them less or anything its just that every mother wants that lil prince and princess. i can understand both sides of the story!

I hope everyone has a wonderful night!
  #16  
April 23rd, 2009, 06:16 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 39,051
Quote:
Originally Posted by michelleof4 View Post
i have seen some posts about wanting one sex they want. and they find out the baby is going to be the opposite of what they wanted..

WHO CARES....

its a freaking baby in your stomach. many woman out there would LOVE to have a child.,. and wouldnt care if it was a boy or girl..

think of these woman that are TTC and cant.. medically.. they would take a baby either sex..

God gives you what he wants..
Considering the fact that you aren't even a part of this DDC I think you are completely out of line. You don't know the histories of any of the women here.

For instance...I bet you didn't know that I was told I'd never have my own children. After trying to conceive for 2 years I finally got my little miracle baby. A boy. I love him more than words can say. This time I got pregnant right away. I'm still in shock over how fast it happened and I'm beyond grateful.

I've mentioned that I really do want a girl. I've always wanted one of each. I bet you don't know my main reason for wanting a girl. I had a sister who died before I was born. Her name was Jillian and even though I never knew her I've always missed her. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to have a girl and name her Jillian to honor my sister. My family was so thrilled that I would chose to honor her in that way.

So pardon me if I am completely and utterly offended by your post. The same God that you claim blesses us with these babies probably wouldn't take your judgmental nature so kindly. I'm sure part of it might be because you are TTC and maybe having some trouble with that. But maybe you should take a line from you own post. "God gives you what he wants."
__________________





  #17  
April 23rd, 2009, 06:32 PM
fishysticks's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: South-Eastern Virginia
Posts: 20,417
Quote:
Originally Posted by SusieQ2 View Post
Considering the fact that you aren't even a part of this DDC I think you are completely out of line. You don't know the histories of any of the women here.

For instance...I bet you didn't know that I was told I'd never have my own children. After trying to conceive for 2 years I finally got my little miracle baby. A boy. I love him more than words can say. This time I got pregnant right away. I'm still in shock over how fast it happened and I'm beyond grateful.

I've mentioned that I really do want a girl. I've always wanted one of each. I bet you don't know my main reason for wanting a girl. I had a sister who died before I was born. Her name was Jillian and even though I never knew her I've always missed her. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to have a girl and name her Jillian to honor my sister. My family was so thrilled that I would chose to honor her in that way.

So pardon me if I am completely and utterly offended by your post. The same God that you claim blesses us with these babies probably wouldn't take your judgmental nature so kindly. I'm sure part of it might be because you are TTC and maybe having some trouble with that. But maybe you should take a line from you own post. "God gives you what he wants."
and i'm pretty sure it's the OP leaving REALLY nasty comments on my blog.

I've had a miscarriage, I have friends with fertility problems.

there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting a certain gender and being bummed about not getting it. It is a natural and human emotion to get attached to wanting one or the other. It's how you overcome in the end that matters. There's nothing wrong with TALKING about it either, because that's how you move past it.
I'm the same as the girl I quoted, I wanted a little girl to name after my mother who passed away when I was a teenager. I don't feel bad for wanting a girl. I don't feel bad for being sad I got a boy- but I know once the baby is born it will be an afterthought.

Stop being so judgmental to women you don't know.

Telling someone they should feel COMPLETELY happy regardless because of those who have fertility issues, would be like me throwing my mother's death in someone's face who is having issues with theirs who is still living.
It's wrong, it's inappropriate, it's mean. We're all entitled to feel how we feel. We're all allowed to be human, to have flaws. We're all allowed to react differently to the same situation.

Hell, I was disappointed about Holden being a boy. I was sad for a long time, but now? I wouldn't change it for the whole world. I wouldn't go back and make him a girl. he is my world, and i'm sure this baby I will feel the exact same about once he's here.

I don't appreciate you coming in here and trying to make me and other ladies feel like a bad person for being human.
__________________
Jenny, Mommy to Holden Milo 9-17-07 & Parker Cadence 9-30-09

Read my blog: Holdin' Holden!!

  #18  
April 23rd, 2009, 06:36 PM
pearlica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,442
One of the reasons I loved this forum was because there werent posts like the one from the original poster to make people feel bad. How awful to come in a ruin the great vibe we have going! Perhaps this is not the forum for you OP!
  #19  
April 23rd, 2009, 06:36 PM
hoping4more
Guest
Posts: n/a
i would like to start by telling you that i am a christian, and i was taken back when i heard it may be a boy. i wasnt sad that it may be a boy, i have four boys im raising now, i know what blessings they are. i was sad though that i may never get a daughter. i had always dreamed about having a little girl, and it isnt wrong of me to be sad that i may never have a daughter. i know that God called my child by name at conception, and i know that everything in my life is by Gods will. that doesnt mean that we cant be sad if Gods will wasnt our own. those who are TTC if they are believers then would also say it wasnt Gods will for me to have the child, does that make it wrong for them to be sad that Gods will was different from their own? i certainly dont think so. my stepsons mother died when they were 7 and 8 years old. my husband raised them while farming full time. late april - november he has to work everyday, sept - oct he works 80 -100 hours a week. can you imagine, and trying to raise two young boys on top of that. there were nights he would put them to bed and go stand on the porch and cry out to God. was it wrong for him to be upset with Gods will? is it wrong for my stepsons to be upset that it was Gods will to take their mother from them? i dont think so. you see many women here may be sad that they wont be the mother to that daughter or son, but that doesnt mean their wrong, and it doesnt mean that they are unhappy or ungrateful about their pregnancy. i know that things dont always happen like we wont them to, but as a christian i also know that God uses these experiences in our lives to reach out and support others. I had a misacarriage Dec. 1, 08 i found out i would miscarry late Oct. i was 8 weeks pregnant. it was a blighted ovum. i prayed and prayed to God to give me my child. I know He can. but He didnt. after many weeks my doctor finally made an appt. for a DnC because i hadnt miscarried and i was nearly in term 2 which is very abnormal. i had many u/s that revealed a growing sac, my hcg levels rose every time but never doubles. after i made the appt. i cried out to God to let me miscarry, i didnt want the DnC for many reasons. God was gracious to let me miscarry 2 days before my appt. i was in my 13th week. it was a very sad drawn out experience. however i learned to praise God and thank Him for my experience even before i miscarried. I know now God has given me an area very special, that now i can reachout to women everywhere who are going through the same thing and offer them support and comfort. something you cant get from a women who has never been through a miscarriage. its something you wont ever understand unless you go through it. finally i would like to say that you had pointed out that you are happy with which ever gender, and arent leaning one way or the other... i can honestly tell you i would feel the same about my pregnancy if i also first gave birth to a daughter first and second a son. im not trying to insult you.... however you simply do not have the experience these women have. i do now understand, why you cant understand. i apologize if i insulted you in anyway that was not my intention. and im sorry if i gave you the wrong impression that i wasnt happy with my child, i am very happy to be carring this child boy or girl.
  #20  
April 23rd, 2009, 06:43 PM
tracemomof3's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 191
I think it was more of a be grateful you can have children statement.
__________________

Last edited by tracemomof3; April 23rd, 2009 at 06:46 PM.
Closed Topic

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:14 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0