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Rant - O/T *Long- Sorry*


Forum: 2009 Playroom

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  #1  
June 12th, 2009, 05:06 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'll apologize in advance because this is nothing more than me letting off some steam. Normally, I would talk to DH and he would calm me down. However, he is asleep and I don't want to wake him up.

Anyway, I am at my parents' house right now. Dh and I switch off going to dinner with my parents and his parents on Fridays. Tonight we're going out with my parents, although I don't feel like going out with them right now.

So here is why I am so frustrated. My dad made me mad because he initally wouldn't go to the hardware store to buy a snake for the drain. My parents' house began smelling like a sewer today. They have had this problem before which winds up resulting in a drain overflowing. Well, my dad said it was because there is work being done on the sewer line outside. In one corner near the sewer, it does smell. However, the entire neighborhood doesn't stink.

Both my mom and I thought, just to be on the safe side, get the snake in case the smell has nothing to do with the outside work. Well, my dad wouldn't hear of it. "No, it has nothing to do with the house...it has to do with the work being done outside.."

I understand he is tired from work, but the drain really needs to be checked. I guess my mom finally got mad enough that he decided to go to the store to get the snake. He starts complaining and I told him that he needed to get it. I'm sure I shocked him because I usually take his side in things, as my mom can be difficult with him.

Anyway, I'm ranting about the situation, but worried about him. He has become lazy. He used to have so many hobbies and does none of them anymore. I know alot of it has to do with stress because his business is not doing good. However, he is at retirement age and my parents have plenty of money to retire. He needs to get back into painting and such because he's going to go looney (literally - I think something will happen to the way his brain functions) if he doesn't have something to stimulate his brain. As it is, he called me by my mom's name 3 times when I was talking to him about this entire thing.

Sorry this is so long. At least now my rant it out. Bad part is that it is now replaced my worry.

Well, I'm going to keep my mind off of it. I'll think about my wonderful DH and the beautiful baby boy I can feel moving in my tummy right now.

If you got all the the way through this, thank you. I think I just needed to write out my feelings.
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Last edited by *Jennifer*; June 12th, 2009 at 05:11 PM.
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  #2  
June 12th, 2009, 07:13 PM
Snowpeas
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It's hard when our parents get older. My dad is in his mid-60's and has been retired for several years now. I've been worrying about him too, he acts differently, not himself and he seems very forgetful.

I'm sure it's just that your dad has a lot on his mind but it is scary.

I agree, think about the wonderful hubby and baby you've got
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  #3  
June 12th, 2009, 07:32 PM
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wow, sorry you are having to deal with this right now.
My Dad is in his early 60's. When he retired he started drinking beer all the time and slowly moved into hard alcohol. It bothered me so much because as I was growing up he would never drink alcohol. I think he has slowed down since my Mom retired in Dec. but it still bothers me that all of a sudden he is changing. I agree though about needing to keep their minds stimulated, I think that is part of what makes retiring so hard on some people.
I hope your Dad's business starts doing better or if he decides to retire that he picks up his hobbies again.
Good luck with keeping your mind off it all ... good thing you have a healthy baby to concentrate on!
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  #4  
June 12th, 2009, 08:02 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies. DH and I went out to dinner with my dad and it was very nice. My mom had gone out to lunch and wasn't hungry. It was as if the entire episode never happened. My mom and dad are both in a good mood now.

I try not to worry about my parents and their health, but it gets difficult. My mom doesn't take care of herself as she should and my dad seems to be more short-tempered at stupid little stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love them very much. I am so looking forward to the joy their 1st grandchild will bring them. I really believe my dad will light up when he sees his grandson. He cried tears of happiness when I told him I was pregnant and my mom screamed with joy.
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  #5  
June 12th, 2009, 08:05 PM
fishysticks's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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my dad's hobby seems to be eating lately. At least your Dad isn't taking that up!

hope that made you laugh
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  #6  
June 12th, 2009, 09:36 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fishysticks View Post
my dad's hobby seems to be eating lately. At least your Dad isn't taking that up!

hope that made you laugh

LOL! You silly woman! Eating has become MY hobby!
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  #7  
June 13th, 2009, 05:18 AM
*Crystal*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My dad got rid of all of his hobbies as well... there is NO talking to him about it though. Maybe you can ask to start a hobby with him (like you have time..lol). It is so weird as we get older it seems like we start taking care of our parents... the roles get reversed.
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  #8  
June 13th, 2009, 07:14 AM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Crystal* View Post
My dad got rid of all of his hobbies as well... there is NO talking to him about it though. Maybe you can ask to start a hobby with him (like you have time..lol). It is so weird as we get older it seems like we start taking care of our parents... the roles get reversed.

We've tried. We bought him a bunch of painting supplies, which he didn't touch. My brother scheduled a fishing trip and he didn't want to go because of the sun. My dad does not burn easily and could use sunblock. DH is going to see if he'll go fishing with him and my father-in-law. I'll get him the highest SPF sunblock I can find.

The roles do get reversed as our parents get older. Their personalities change too. I just love how now my dad seems to think women are incapable of doing things like changing a light bulb. I blame my mom for that one though...she's always expected him to do everything for her. She yells for him so much that my parrots yell his name in her voice! (I got them before I got married and moved out of my parents' house)
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  #9  
June 16th, 2009, 06:58 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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aw im sorry girl... feel free to rant anytime!!!

As for the snake thing.... my DH is a plumber and I would likely be the last house in the neighborhood to get fixed if something was up! ha ha ha.
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  #10  
June 16th, 2009, 08:09 AM
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AW I wish my parents were slowing down. they have replaced all their kids with dogs and now go for motorcycle rides across the country and out to bars.

Hopefully your dad is just in a slump and gets through it. I wish you the best. Have you tried talking to him?
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  #11  
June 16th, 2009, 10:51 AM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drewbears View Post
aw im sorry girl... feel free to rant anytime!!!

As for the snake thing.... my DH is a plumber and I would likely be the last house in the neighborhood to get fixed if something was up! ha ha ha.

LOL! BTW, thank you. I felt much better after I ranted. I just needed to get it all out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by shannonkcc View Post
AW I wish my parents were slowing down. they have replaced all their kids with dogs and now go for motorcycle rides across the country and out to bars.

Hopefully your dad is just in a slump and gets through it. I wish you the best. Have you tried talking to him?

We've all tried talking to him. He's getting more and more stubborn.

BTW, it sounds like your parents are living it up! I do understand wanting them to slow down though. Do you think they will?
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  #12  
June 16th, 2009, 02:15 PM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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hugs! rant away! Glad to hear you feel a little bit better.
That is really hard to watch people, esp parents or grandparents, get older. Right now I'm kinda seeing that with my SO's grandma. She's calling everyone by the wrong name and all she does is sit around watching TV and eating. She used to be moderately active, was stick skinny, and was quite attractive. Now she's just letting herself go and has probably put on 100 pounds. I want to be like "wake up!!!!" sometimes to her. No one really knows what to do to help her stay healthy.
Puh, I guess all you can do is love them!
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  #13  
June 16th, 2009, 03:59 PM
Peytonsmomma
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maybe he is just mentally tired, from what you have said she yells at him alot, my parents were married for 25 years and daily my dad would yell at my mom and now she is the same age and is so self conscious about the things she does. Maybe in some ways he just doesn't feel like a "man" anymore
hugs!
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  #14  
June 16th, 2009, 04:32 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by codasgirl04 View Post
maybe he is just mentally tired, from what you have said she yells at him alot, my parents were married for 25 years and daily my dad would yell at my mom and now she is the same age and is so self conscious about the things she does. Maybe in some ways he just doesn't feel like a "man" anymore
hugs!

She doesn't yell at him, she yells for him. She does the same thing to me when I visit. Only difference is that I won't answer back. If she wants something, she can walk to me and ask me. However, I do agree with not feeling like a "man" anymore. That or maybe he's tired of being told, not asked, to do things. Either way, I told DH I would never treat him like that.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It's sad to see what people can do to each other.

Quote:
Originally Posted by monica8 View Post
hugs! rant away! Glad to hear you feel a little bit better.
That is really hard to watch people, esp parents or grandparents, get older. Right now I'm kinda seeing that with my SO's grandma. She's calling everyone by the wrong name and all she does is sit around watching TV and eating. She used to be moderately active, was stick skinny, and was quite attractive. Now she's just letting herself go and has probably put on 100 pounds. I want to be like "wake up!!!!" sometimes to her. No one really knows what to do to help her stay healthy.
Puh, I guess all you can do is love them!
I know what you mean. My grandmother has been dying since she turned 70. At least, that is her philosophy...it's all over at 70. Last year, she got hooked on painkillers.
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