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My little update


Forum: 2009 Playroom

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  #1  
July 6th, 2009, 01:21 PM
Blue_Twinkles's Avatar Son Up 2 Son Down
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Sorry I haven't been around in the past 2 weeks or so. I went through some periods of slight depression, stress and just being tired all the time. I have been lurking though.

I wanted to update about Spencer and his paci addiction. He has been paci-free for almost 2 weeks now and I have seen such an improvement in him! It took 2 or 3 days and he was over it after I took them all away. He is now "talking" so much more than he was before. It's really neat to watch him trying to articulate and speak.

I have my 24 week dr.'s appt on Friday and I'm assuming we'll probably schedule my glucose test then. We also told the IL's yesterday about our plans as far as after the baby is born and while we are in the hospital. They wanted to take 2 weeks off work apiece and "help out" over here. At first I didn't think much of it..not sure why. But the more I thought about it, the more I didn't like it. DF and I talked and we both don't want them here all day and every day after Noah is born. We wanted that chance to bond as a family that we didn't get with Spencer. Besides I can just see how they will "help"...hold the baby and tend to him while I corral Spencer and get no time with Noah. We also told them we didn't want anyone taking Spencer away after we came home either. They had initially wanted to take him so that he wouldn't "have such a hard time adjusting because he won't be the center of attention anymore." I kept thinking, well ya know, he's gotta learn sometime. They are terrified of us making him grow up more than he's supposed to because we have another baby. They worry about the world not revolving around him after Noah is here but yet they just keep reinforcing that concept to him everytime they see him. It makes for difficult times over here because I don't believe in teaching a child that way. Anyway, we also told them that we didn't want everyone at the hospital in the waiting room and then everyone wanting in the room right after I had the baby. I basically told them we wanted them to take Spencer when we headed to the hospital if they wanted but that we will call when they can come visit and bring Spencer to meet his little brother. I really wanted to advantage of that 1 hour bonding time after Noah is born..something else I didn't get when I had Spencer. Needless to say, they really didn't like my rules. They didn't voice it (yet) but I could tell from their body language and faces. So hopefully they will listen and not take that time off from work and try to respect our wishes. They think I'm looney though. So I'm sure they are saying to each other, "She'll see. Let her think that way." LOL I suppose I'll have to show them otherwise.

Anyway..there's my little update! Sorry it turned out so long!
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  #2  
July 6th, 2009, 01:47 PM
Snowpeas
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I hope you're doing better. Glad you are able to speak up to your IL's on how you want things to be. That's great that you are able to talk about it.

And yay for no pacis!!!
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  #3  
July 6th, 2009, 04:27 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yay for no pacis! We need to have a similar talk with my MIL. Just have to work up the courage.
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  #4  
July 6th, 2009, 05:11 PM
CriscoNinja
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Yay for no pacis!! And good for you for standing up to your IL's...

I'm still not sure I'll be able to...
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  #5  
July 6th, 2009, 08:04 PM
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Yikes. I can't even imagine. We have no contact with my IL's whatsoever, so I'm very lucky to not have to deal with an intrusion like that. All I can suggest is that you stick to your guns! Letting them ruin your bonding will only lead to anger and resentment, and you won't be able to get that time back. They'll get over it... but you might not. It's your family, your decision.
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  #6  
July 6th, 2009, 08:38 PM
fishysticks's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am in a similar boat so I can def. understand the stress! In laws... can't live with'em... and that's about it
I tried standing up to my MIL and it sent her into a total temper tantrum worse than Holden's. Ridiculous. Still not sure what to do there!

I agree with you though, you do what makes YOU happy & comfortable and screw everyone else!
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  #7  
July 6th, 2009, 09:11 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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I hope the battles with depression get better. You know we're here if you need anything

I hope your ILs respect your wishes and back off. My parents are pretty good and DH's parents are really very involved so I guess I'm lucky.
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  #8  
July 7th, 2009, 12:17 AM
TulipDawn's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yay for no paci!!

I don't blame you for your "rules" they are very sound and completely legit.

Hopefully they listen.
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  #9  
July 7th, 2009, 10:54 AM
Blue_Twinkles's Avatar Son Up 2 Son Down
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LvdL View Post
Letting them ruin your bonding will only lead to anger and resentment, and you won't be able to get that time back. They'll get over it... but you might not. It's your family, your decision.
Oh trust me, one way or the other I'm getting what I want this time when it comes to time with my newborn son and not letting people interfere. You're right though, it will lead to anger and resentment if I don't step up and say something. I still have MUCH anger and resentment towards them leftover from when Spencer was first born and afterwards. I will NOT let that happen again. I felt I couldn't say anything to them though because we were living there rent-free..and that was always the chump card they used if we pissed them off.."well you can just find another place to live" or "well it's our house".
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  #10  
July 7th, 2009, 11:13 AM
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Congrats on no paci!

And I get what you mean about the in laws I live with mine atm and they act like Jeffrey is theirs half of the time... right after Jeffrey was born them and their kids were always up at the hospital and when we brought him home they basically never left our bedroom.. this time I'm going to try and pretty much go the same route your going aside from the afterward part cause I still live with them so I don't have much of a choice...
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  #11  
July 7th, 2009, 02:45 PM
Blue_Twinkles's Avatar Son Up 2 Son Down
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disturbedangel121 View Post
Congrats on no paci!

And I get what you mean about the in laws I live with mine atm and they act like Jeffrey is theirs half of the time... right after Jeffrey was born them and their kids were always up at the hospital and when we brought him home they basically never left our bedroom.. this time I'm going to try and pretty much go the same route your going aside from the afterward part cause I still live with them so I don't have much of a choice...

Oh man I totally feel your pain. MIL was constantly in our room after Spencer was born. One morning after DF had left for work, I had Spencer in the bed with me..it was early, like 7 or 8 am and we were sleeping. I got that feeling of someone standing next to the bed so I opened my eyes and there she is..bent over the bed with her elbows on the mattress staring at Spencer with a smile on her face. I was like, OMG are freaking kidding me?? LOL If she heard Spencer cooing or crying or whatever and it was around morning time when she was awake, she barged right in..no knocking or waiting for an invitation. Man..you couldn't pay me enough to move back in with them!
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  #12  
July 8th, 2009, 08:16 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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((((HUGS))))) I have been in a funk lately.. i read, but just haven't had much to say.

Glad to see you post though!
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  #13  
July 8th, 2009, 02:48 PM
AllMyBlessings's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Olivia+Josiah View Post
I hope you're doing better. Glad you are able to speak up to your IL's on how you want things to be. That's great that you are able to talk about it.

And yay for no pacis!!!
Ditto!
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