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Forum: 2009 Playroom

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  #1  
July 9th, 2009, 08:06 PM
Gabe's_Mommy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 454
I hate when my SO leaves without telling me, it makes me super nervous...and is frustrating....he doesnt tell me hes going at all just drives off and probably goes to his friends house, which sometimes is anoyying to me.I know it may seem like im being selfish, but really, i dont care if he goes, its just he doesnt even tell me he is ...UGH...Im so fed up with this he always does this to me, and he'll come home at like 10 or 11 pm...its like his friends house is the greatest place ever, idk, is it okay for me to feel like this? I feel like im being selfish, Ugh I hate that feeling... Also im supposed to be going to florida...and of course, his friend and his friends girl friend and their daughter have to go...I wanted it to be just me and him.....but whatever....;.
I just had to vent

thanks for reading
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  #2  
July 9th, 2009, 08:10 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Location: New Jersey
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Why do you stay with a guy that never really seems to make you happy?
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  #3  
July 9th, 2009, 08:11 PM
Gabe's_Mommy's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SusieQ2 View Post
Why do you stay with a guy that never really seems to make you happy?
He does, its just these little things that are getting to me. I dont know if its my hormones or what...he wasnt like this before i got pregnant.
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  #4  
July 9th, 2009, 08:24 PM
Snowpeas
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((hugs))

My dh used to do that sometimes too. He would go places without telling me he was leaving or run extra errands & be gone for hours longer than he said he would be. I didn't mind that he was doing them per se, but pregnancy brought out the worry wort in me. I would worry about him all the time & have nightmares that something happened to him.

It took a lot of communicating but he finally realized that it was genuine worry on my part, not a desire to control him and he's been MUCH better about keeping me informed (although he still gets his days, like any man, lol).

I think in my dh's case he just was used to being able to just do his own thing like he always had, it didn't even occur to him that he should call to let me know or I would worry about him if he didn't.
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  #5  
July 9th, 2009, 08:30 PM
Gabe's_Mommy's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Olivia+Josiah View Post
((hugs))

My dh used to do that sometimes too. He would go places without telling me he was leaving or run extra errands & be gone for hours longer than he said he would be. I didn't mind that he was doing them per se, but pregnancy brought out the worry wort in me. I would worry about him all the time & have nightmares that something happened to him.

It took a lot of communicating but he finally realized that it was genuine worry on my part, not a desire to control him and he's been MUCH better about keeping me informed (although he still gets his days, like any man, lol).

I think in my dh's case he just was used to being able to just do his own thing like he always had, it didn't even occur to him that he should call to let me know or I would worry about him if he didn't.
Thanks for your response, its just frustrating sometimes. I mean i dont care if he goes out, i just get kind of lonely.

By the way your daughter is adorbale
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  #6  
July 9th, 2009, 08:32 PM
Snowpeas
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Awww, thanks
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  #7  
July 9th, 2009, 08:35 PM
Gabe's_Mommy's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Olivia+Josiah View Post
Awww, thanks
You're welcome :]
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  #9  
July 9th, 2009, 08:56 PM
Gabe's_Mommy's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by njrover0216 View Post
My husband and I agreed that when we had children that we would not be running the roads with our friends and be out and about. You are creating a family now. I am sure between work, family and whatever else is going on it is difficult to get just time for the both of you. I would tell him that you need him home more with you and to spend a little less time with his friends. Whether it is your hormones or not, it sounds like you need him and when he is away you are anxious.
Yeah i am anxious when hes gone, i mean i dont care if he goes upstairs or into a nother room, but he leaves for a LONG period of time, and its frustrating..
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  #10  
July 10th, 2009, 01:13 AM
TulipDawn's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Communication in a relationship is the hardest thing I think.

If you are unhappy with something that he is doing you need to bring it to his attention. It seems that guys sometimes don't realize what they are doing until they are told.

One thing is for sure if dh EVER left without telling me that he was going somethere he would get a nice little phone call...but that's just me and dh knows that
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  #11  
July 10th, 2009, 05:23 AM
Christine_D's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Portsmouth, VA
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Last night, DH didn't come home from work until 8:00 pm, he's usually home by 6:00 pm... and he never let me know that he was going to yoga, so I had no idea where he was. It made me very anxious as well... and of course, I called and texted him with no response.

I just let him know, in a calm way, that it really worries me when he does that - especially with a baby on the way! He totally understood - like everyone said, communication is the key. I would cut him a little slack now (just me personally) rather than when the baby comes - let him get his "friend" time now, but prepare him that you're really going to need his help after the baby his here.
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  #12  
July 10th, 2009, 06:07 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SusieQ2 View Post
Why do you stay with a guy that never really seems to make you happy?
I agree! I really doubt there will be much of a change after baby comes as well, seems usually there isn't.

He sounds very immature to me.

Makes me grateful my DH has never been like that.

How old are yall if you don't mind my asking?
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  #13  
July 10th, 2009, 01:08 PM
Peytonsmomma
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drew~ i think somewhere on here she posted they were in there late teens i wanna say like 19 or something.

Sorrow~ Communication is the key to any relationship and a baby won't change anything, DF and I have numerous times have had this discussion.
your relationship reminds me of when df & i got together at 19 we are now 25, it was like that friends were always more important and yes it's hard and thank goodness we didn't bring a innocent baby into the picture then, i feel for you but you need to make a decision if this is the right man for you or not
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  #14  
July 13th, 2009, 10:51 AM
CohensMommy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: London, Ontario
Posts: 772
It sounds to me like a trust issue. Do you get upset with him when he leaves? I know you get upset, but do you yell at him or confront him or anything like that?
I'm just wondering because I don't see why him going to a friend's would be a problem, him not telling you sounds like he could be rebelling because he feels like he's not "allowed" to go, so why tell/ask you. I could be reading the situation way wrong, but that's just based on how your post sounded.
Noone deserves to be with someone that treats them less-than, so I'd be making some changes very soon if I were you!
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