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I don't know weather to be grateful or offended....


Forum: 2009 Playroom

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  #1  
July 10th, 2009, 08:01 AM
disturbedangel121's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My MIL just called saying she doesn't feel right with her grandson having all hand me downs so she plans to buy him all new stuff... I don't see whats wrong with Jeffreys stuff in fact he was a late spring baby and Jordan will be a fall baby so all the clothes Jordan would be wearing would pretty much be the ones Jeffrey didn't because of the weather... We were planning to/have bought him some new stuff but I don't see much of a point in buying all new stuff when we've still got so much perfectly good stuff! Yesterday we had gone to the store and she was looking at swings and stuff for him.. I already have all of that.. wth is wrong with a hand me down swing?!? And she was telling me she was buying a new bassinet and the bassinet is in perfectly good condition. Ehh.. idk.. it's nice of her and all but I don't really see the point.. I think she just loves buying baby stuff but still. Ahwell.. Jeffreys stuff won't go to waste either way cause I've got 2 sisters also having boys who could really use some things...
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  #2  
July 10th, 2009, 08:34 AM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow. My MIL said something similar about Sergio needing his own clothes, but rebuying gear is definitely over the top. I don't even think S needs "his own" clothes until he's old enough to know the difference and at that point he will only be getting a select few things if Hugo's old clothes are in as great shape as the ones he has already grown out of.
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  #3  
July 10th, 2009, 09:34 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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I wouldn't be offended but I would probably roll my eyes at her for wanting to basically waste money.

We had a boy and now we're having a girl so we will be buying new clothes plus DS was born at the beginning of June so all of his newborn clothes are for summer which won't work for a late October baby. I will be reusing some stuff though.

Even though my swing is blue and green I'm not buying a new one! They are expensive and the one we have works just fine. Same with the bassinet. It's neutral color and was only used for 5 months.
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  #4  
July 10th, 2009, 09:41 AM
Blue_Twinkles's Avatar Son Up 2 Son Down
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It does seem redundant to rebuy gear for no good reason other than she doesn't want the new baby to have "hand me downs". But hey, it's her money she's wasting and your baby gets new things..so why not? LOL Maybe you could sell some of the stuff from Jeffrey on CraigsList and make a profit.
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  #5  
July 10th, 2009, 09:41 AM
billie1978's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't think I would be offended. Could that be her way of trying to contribute the best way she knows how? Maybe she just has the extra money this time around and is trying to do some of the things she wasn't able to do the first time? I don't know, but I would be jumping for joy if anyone offered to buy this baby anything at all.
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  #7  
July 10th, 2009, 09:45 AM
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It is good to hear that your sisters could use the old stuff. If they need stuff and she wants to buy new stuff, I would let her. I think she meant well, even though I would feel a little dig too. Just a little one that I would get over quickly.
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  #8  
July 10th, 2009, 09:49 AM
**Teresa**'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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All my stuff is hand me downs except for some clothes, car seat and stroller. Hey I would be happy if my MIL offered to do anything. She doesn't even call me or my DH to see how things are going anymore. Not sure why cause she called me all the time with my other two. So who knows!
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  #9  
July 10th, 2009, 10:20 AM
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I might just tell her the truth and mabey that money she was going to spend can go in a college fund or something
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  #10  
July 10th, 2009, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy~2~Spencer View Post
It does seem redundant to rebuy gear for no good reason other than she doesn't want the new baby to have "hand me downs". But hey, it's her money she's wasting and your baby gets new things..so why not? LOL Maybe you could sell some of the stuff from Jeffrey on CraigsList and make a profit.
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  #11  
July 10th, 2009, 04:50 PM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Originally Posted by natty View Post
I might just tell her the truth and mabey that money she was going to spend can go in a college fund or something
Yeah, I was going to suggest this. Or you could Craigslist some of whatever she was wanting to replace and then in turn put it in the college fund (or whatever fund).

I agree with the thought of the pp who said that maybe MIL wanted to make up for not having done as much the first time around? Even if it does seem wasteful, I think it is better that she shows a lot of interest than none at all! Count yourself lucky for at least that.
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  #12  
July 10th, 2009, 07:31 PM
disturbedangel121's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think she just loves baby shopping to be honest cause with Jeffrey she bought tons of stuff too so I don't think she's doing it to make up for that.. I was thinking about it today and I think thats all it is.. she got her tubes tied soon as she hit 25 and regrets it tonss cause she'd love another baby, so she figures she just spoil my kids instead...
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  #13  
July 11th, 2009, 11:50 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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honestly I would be grateful someone is willing to do something for you and the new baby. We have no one that will even send is a card saying congrats mostly with this baby.

Sounds like she likes to shop and has the money to do so. I could only dream. But if you don't want new baby stuff maybe suggest she put what she would spend on a gift card for yall and you can buy what you need when you see fit?
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  #14  
July 11th, 2009, 01:11 PM
fishysticks's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy~2~Spencer View Post
It does seem redundant to rebuy gear for no good reason other than she doesn't want the new baby to have "hand me downs". But hey, it's her money she's wasting and your baby gets new things..so why not? LOL Maybe you could sell some of the stuff from Jeffrey on CraigsList and make a profit.
oohh that's a good idea! I think i'd be a little ticked, just kind of ridiculous- but use it to your advantage!
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  #15  
July 12th, 2009, 09:25 AM
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I would be so grateful. All my IL's ever get my kids is stuff from the salvation army and goodwill. My kids never get new stuff from them. and the stuff they get from those places aren't even nice, I am talking the crap that no one wants to by.. Heck. My IL's have come over expecting dinner the day I came home from the hospital with both boys.

Sorry, this hit a nerve. I would be grateful if my IL's would be willing to watch my kids when I have the baby, but then, it is only if the don't have to work, while my SIL Cheryl lives with them, and they support her kids, and let her do nothing all day everyday
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  #16  
July 12th, 2009, 12:14 PM
disturbedangel121's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow.. I didn't mean I would be ungrateful for her buying the stuff I just meant that I was a bit offended (although I wanted to be grateful) cause kinda she acted like I was being a horrible person by using all used stuff for him. I don't know how to explain it really but basically she was saying it was unfair that Jeffrey had all new stuff and Jordan doesn't so that was what bothered me not that I wouldn't appreciate new stuff that's definitely not the point... sorry if this came off like that. I wish I could think of a way to better explain it..
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  #17  
July 12th, 2009, 02:29 PM
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I understand what you are saying. My 1st was a boy and when our 2nd, a girl, was born, MIL called and said she was sending clothes for her because she just couldn't stand the thought of her having to wear all of his hand-me-downs.



I *was* offended. One, because she apparently thought I hadn't even bothered to buy my baby girl any clothes. Two, she made the thought of using anything over again sound horrible.

So......she sent ONE outfit. Woo-Hooo. She sure saved the day. LOL!

Seriously, we HAD bought clothes. We knew we were having a girl before she was born. Besides, our sons was born in February and our daughter was born in the middle of July. Helloooo?? I don't know what she was thinking. We haven't always had the greatest of relationships and there was nothing great about those early years so that probably helped with my feelings about it all.

You know, I would still be offended, after being a mom for 18 years and having 10 kids if someone implied in someway that the way I was doing things was not good enough.

I don't know if that is what your MIL was doing. I would like to think she is just overly excited. Maybe you should just tell her that the items you have now hold sentimental value to you and it would break your heart to get rid of them right now, especially when they are all in such great condition.
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  #18  
July 13th, 2009, 08:00 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by little duckie View Post
I would be so grateful. All my IL's ever get my kids is stuff from the salvation army and goodwill. My kids never get new stuff from them. and the stuff they get from those places aren't even nice, I am talking the crap that no one wants to by.. Heck. My IL's have come over expecting dinner the day I came home from the hospital with both boys.

Sorry, this hit a nerve. I would be grateful if my IL's would be willing to watch my kids when I have the baby, but then, it is only if the don't have to work, while my SIL Cheryl lives with them, and they support her kids, and let her do nothing all day everyday
I totally understand. My kids get the shaft when it comes to family and them even being remembered.

This baby seriously while we have most everything we need, it would be nice to have a new high chair, and we do NEED a crib mattress... but no one is gonna help us out. This baby will wear hand me down diapers... all in great condition and clothes as well....

((((HUGS))))
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