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Sorry i've been MIA. Things are not so great


Forum: 2009 Playroom

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  #1  
October 8th, 2009, 08:11 PM
fishysticks's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: South-Eastern Virginia
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Hey ladies, sorry I haven't been around much since Parker was born. The adjustment to 2 children is a lot... different then i'd expected. Holden loves Parker but is super angry at me which makes it hard to take care of both of them- and i'm dreading Thomas going back to work on Monday. ugh.

More recently Parker has been exhibiting symptoms of reflux. I'd hoped it was just coincidence but there's no denying it at this point. Projecting spit up, arching the back, locking the legs, constant hiccups, dry cough.. no ignoring those signs and all signs point to reflux. I am heartbroken.
Holden had it SO bad that he was literally miserable 99% of the time he was awake, rarely slept at night, and constantly screamed.

Not sure how i'm going to handle a needy toddler and a baby with reflux if we can't find something to help soothe him (he refuses a pacifier. can't figure out how to latch on, another problem).

I wish I could be here more often to welcome all your beautiful babies but I think until we get this figured out i'm going to be sort of absent. I've been trying to read and keep up but haven't had much time to respond, and I apologize for that!

here are a few pictures to make up for my ranting

story time






kisses

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Jenny, Mommy to Holden Milo 9-17-07 & Parker Cadence 9-30-09

Read my blog: Holdin' Holden!!

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  #2  
October 8th, 2009, 08:22 PM
*Hayley*
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Jenny, don't apologize. I don't know what's in store for our family expanding, but I know we're going to be busy too. Does Holden go to daycare? I'm sorry that Parker has reflux. When Holden was a baby did he have to go on meds for it? There's a condition that some babies get where the muscle in the stomach is too thick and causes projectile vomiting....don't remember the name of it, sorry...but i think it's relatively common. Just something to ask the dr. about.

I wish I could offer some advice, but i'll probably be turning to you to see how you dealt with things since Parker came first and our families are similar with the two boys close together. Keep your positive outlook though, I really believe it makes a difference.
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  #4  
October 8th, 2009, 08:32 PM
fishysticks's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: South-Eastern Virginia
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Holden stays home with me all day, can't afford any kind of daycare! He'd probably like it but it's just not in the budget.

We went through 3 different kinds of reflux meds (and 5 formulas) for Holden before finding the right combination. The first ped. diagnosed him with GERD (which might be what you're talking about, I forget), but I think it was just severe reflux. The combo that worked was Goodstart, mylanta, and prilosec (after trying zantac and prevacid and those didn't help at all).

We started Parker out on the goodstart.. so now I guess we'll see if the doctor wants us to medicate him. I'm guessing yes. So far it doesn't seem as severe as Holden's but that could definitely change. holden's symptoms didn't even pop up until he was 3 weeks old, I was shocked Parker started exhibiting them so early.

I'm just hoping that whatever we do makes him comfortable. Seeing Holden miserable for so long killed me.
Right now i'm a little concerned that parker isn't getting enough to eat, because he isn't even eating 2 ounces per feeding anymore and then spits a lot of it up. At his 5 day appt (to check on his jaundice, which is gone now) he was already back up to his birth weight so hopefully that's a good sign that he'll steadily gain weight regardless of spit up (Holden was always chunky no matter how much he was puking)
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  #5  
October 8th, 2009, 08:33 PM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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They can give him meds for reflux, both of my girls had it bad.
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  #6  
October 8th, 2009, 08:34 PM
fishysticks's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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ETA: as far as having an infant and a toddler.. it's been a little rough so far, not gonna lie! Holden really likes Parker but has been SO angry with me. For the first few days he wouldn't even come near me. No hugs, no kisses.. just wanted Thomas. He'll still take Thomas over me now, but i'm slowly getting more snuggles and kisses.
He's gonna have to get used to just having me around and deal with it here in a few days!
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  #7  
October 8th, 2009, 09:47 PM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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I'm sorry that things are rough right now. I hope you can find something to help with the reflux because I know that isn't easy to deal with. I'm sure Holden will come around soon. I'm worried about how my DS will be too. I think that's actually what I'm most nervous about.
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  #8  
October 8th, 2009, 10:16 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hope things get better.

Your boys are adorable!
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  #9  
October 8th, 2009, 11:47 PM
mrscheriezach's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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im so sorry things have been tough. i dont even know any advice at all i just wanted to support you.
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  #10  
October 9th, 2009, 04:35 AM
mommy2Breana+Brandon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am sorry you are going through that.

I hope things get better for you soon.

Come on when you can we understand family comes first.
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  #11  
October 9th, 2009, 05:46 AM
Snowpeas
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I'm sorry things are bumpy right now. I hope his reflux isn't too bad and if he needs meds, etc I hope they kick in very soon for the little guy.

Going from one to two is definitely an adjustment. I am very fortunate as dd is a huge daddy's girl and hasn't gotten mad at me too much for taking care of the baby. We'll see if that changes in time though.

Hang in there - thinking of you! ((hugs))
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  #12  
October 9th, 2009, 07:09 AM
CriscoNinja
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Just wanted to offer some hugs...

My son was 20 months old when my daughter was born and I honestly can't remember how the heck I did it. I think there were quite a few days that I just cried. I remember trying to get my son dried off from a bath and my daughter was screaming in the swing to be fed and my son was yelling to be louder than the baby and the tears just started flowing... my son stopped cold and started to wipe away the tears and gave me a big hug.

I hope it gets better for you and you can figure out the reflux issue.
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  #13  
October 9th, 2009, 11:56 AM
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My best friend has a 4 1/2 year old boy and a 7 month old boy -- and she had such trouble in the beginning I remember, the older boy had the same love of the newborn as yours does, but needed so much attention and it was a total emotional strain on her. It did absolutely get better - she's been much happier for many months. Would offer any advice if I could....sending supportive vibes your way!
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  #14  
October 9th, 2009, 04:40 PM
hoping4more
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dont worry or apologize about not being on. it is a big ajustment to go through. i thought having two would make things easier, but i soon learned in the beginning it is rediculously difficult. my son was 17 months and i had my newborn. they both needed my constant attention and my hubby went right back to work. though luckily my second son started walking at 7 months old and they started playing together and it got a lot easier then. i remember gabriel just always sat in my lap but when jesse was born i was always nursing him. gabe would try and sit in my lap anyway and me being the sucker would try to nurse and hold my son gabe..... sometimes it worked other times not so wel. anyway anytime you need any support you just let us know. and i hope that you find the right meds for parker soon so that he can have relife from the reflux. its good to hear that he is still gaining weight though. congrats to having to beautiful boys also! they really are so handsome! hugs
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  #15  
October 9th, 2009, 05:01 PM
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I wish you good luck hun.
I think its a toddler thing, I've been staying at my moms for a lil extra help and my son wants nothing more then to be near his grandmother all day it's kind of upsetting me but i'm happy he atleast loves his sister.
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  #16  
October 9th, 2009, 06:14 PM
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AWWWW, He is SUPER sweet!!! I just wanted to comment on a couple of your issues too just because "been there, done that" LOL! I hope my experiences can help you too

Noah has ALWAYS been a mommy's boy! When Camden went off to preschool this year, it was JUST me and my nono and he got even more attached to JUST me. Well, NOT only did I get put in the hospital for 2 weeks so he felt like I had totally abandoned him, but then the first time he sees me (besides short visits to the hospital), I've got this new little baby and he just doesn't understand that. All he knows is that I disappeared for 2 weeks and then I come home with a baby that needs my attention also. To make matters 100X worse, Noah was sick when I came home from the hospital with the baby, so we couldn't let him anywhere NEAR Aiden. One of my girls had just had the swine flu, and we didn't know that Noah didn't have it also...so we had to take that very seriously. So now, I'm gone for two weeks, bring home a new baby AND he can't touch him. Seriously....I thought he'd NEVER like poor Aiden! For a while, he'd stand arm's length from him and throw his toys at him. HOWEVER, Aiden just turned 3 weeks old yesterday and guess what...Noah has now forgiven both the baby and mommy It did take a couple of weeks, but once Noah realized that Aiden was going nowhere, and that he could love on him as much as he wanted (now he can) and that I love him just the same...he's much better. I make it a point to take JUST noah time so that he still gets that one on one mommy time. With your little guy...give it time, and try to do special things with JUST him (even if dad holds the baby for a few minutes while you take Holden outside and play with the ball). This too shall pass Going from one to two was BY FAR my hardest adjustment (and Aiden was number 7 for us )

I don't have any advice about the reflux...but I'm so sorry because I know that has to be extremely difficult

As far as the nursing goes...Aiden had this problem too. Aiden's problem was that he was premature and very tiny. He would take a bottle though...does parker? I went to a lactation consultant who recommended these plastic things that go over the nipple and it feels more like a bottle to them, so latch on is so much easier for them. the downside...they can get too attached to it, so if he's feeding OK then I'd probably avoid them. The GOOD thing is....it makes breastfeeding possible even when your little one is having a tough time latching on You can get them at BRU...medela makes the best ones!! I'm trying to wean Aiden off his so that eventually I'll JUST be able to breastfeed, but he's still not even 5lbs yet so I've had no luck. I'm thinking we may be one of those that have to use them until I stop breastfeeding...but at least it makes it possible
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  #17  
October 9th, 2009, 06:23 PM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hope things get better soon! Hopefully once you get back into a routine Holden wont be upset with you. Just take it one day at a time.

Those pictures of the two of them together are great!
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  #18  
October 9th, 2009, 08:21 PM
~Devon~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sorry to jump in, I think what Hayley is thinking of is Pyloric Stenosis. They thought my son had it. Good luck!
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  #19  
October 9th, 2009, 09:52 PM
fishysticks's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetseven View Post

As far as the nursing goes...Aiden had this problem too. Aiden's problem was that he was premature and very tiny. He would take a bottle though...does parker? I went to a lactation consultant who recommended these plastic things that go over the nipple and it feels more like a bottle to them, so latch on is so much easier for them. the downside...they can get too attached to it, so if he's feeding OK then I'd probably avoid them. The GOOD thing is....it makes breastfeeding possible even when your little one is having a tough time latching on You can get them at BRU...medela makes the best ones!! I'm trying to wean Aiden off his so that eventually I'll JUST be able to breastfeed, but he's still not even 5lbs yet so I've had no luck. I'm thinking we may be one of those that have to use them until I stop breastfeeding...but at least it makes it possible
Parker is bottle fed. his latch on the bottle has gotten slightly better with practice, but he still can't hold onto a binky for more than 10 seconds at a time and we've literally tried over 7 different kinds, including leftovers from Holden (which are 6 months plus size since he seemed to want something bigger). If he weren't fluxing this wouldn't be an issue but when he's back arching and uncomfortable I know a binky would help so it's frustrating that he can't seem to figure it out.
Maybe that comes with time too? I hope so! Not that I want a binky baby, but i'd like a happy baby and i'm pretty sure a binky could satisfy him since he loves to suck my finger constantly but my finger is not always readily available, KWIM?

It's good to hear the mommy hating will pass. Each day he seems to like me a little more, but still begs for Daddy when he's upset or wakes up from his nap or just wants snuggles.
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