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I'm kind of sad...


Forum: 2009 Playroom

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  #1  
January 18th, 2010, 08:18 AM
Brooke16's Avatar Love my boys!
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: MICHIGAN
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Last night I was making sure DH was on board with me weaning Brock and making sure we were making the right decision and what not and I got so sad. About a month ago, Brock wouldn't take a bottle at all, essentially he needed me more than anyone else. And now he started taking a bottle and he loves it. I've suspected my milk was drying up for about a month or so and Brock hasn't been gaining much weight so I figured he wasn't getting enough, so now we've decided to wean Brock. I still feed him throughout the day off the breast, but I give him a bottle afterwards. All of a sudden I feel like Brock won't need me anymore. He can play alone for an hour or so, he eats a bottle and doesn't even need me to hold it if I don't want to, he wants to crawl around and no longer cuddles.

For months I have said, I can't wait for Brock to play with toys by himself and figure them out. I can't wait till he can crawl and get to his toys on his own. I can't wait to be done BF so I can have a little free time and not have to worry if he is eating...I can't wait....I can't wait...I swear that phrase came out of my mouth more often than any other. And now it is all here and I'm like WAIT! DOn't grow up without me.

I know in the back of my mind he'll always need his Mommy and he is a very big mama's boy, but I'm still very sad. It makes me second guess weaning him even though I know it's time. Plus I'm already drying up. Usually in the morning, especially if he sleeps good, I'm always a little firm...today they were very soft. It was like I had already fed him. His diapers have never been as wet as they have been in the past few days with me feeding him formula. They were only that wet when I first brought him home.

I just kind of needed to vent a little. I already know you ladies will say all kinds of nice things to cheer me up and I love that, but I think I'm in a pretty big funk right now. I just hope weaning him doesn't make him hate me or something. I don't want him to feel like I don't want him anymore. But since we've been doing this, he hasn't looked for the breast. He takes a bottle just fine and will still take the breast if I offer it, so I think I'm doing okay, but I'm still not sure. Thanks for listening.
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  #2  
January 18th, 2010, 09:51 AM
SereneMama's Avatar Lindsay
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: California
Posts: 902
Only you know what is best for your baby and that is all you can do. I know what you mean about saying "I can't wait for this or that" and then being sad when it comes. I am the same way. I think that is very normal. They grow sooo fast and it is hard to watch the little baby slip away into a bigger baby. To me it is almost like I am losing that other little baby and getting a new one...I don't know if I am explaining that right, but they change so much so quickly that at times that is what it seems like to me. I think that is partly why it is so hard.

About the BF...Haley stopped taking my breast about 3 weeks ago or so for good. She got a hold of a bottle and never looked back, and no matter what I did, I couldn't get her to BF...I worked at it for over a month and then I pumped and gave her bottles, but now she is fully weaned so I can relate to how hard it can be when baby doesn't need you anymore. I was devastated...I had a hard time BFing in the beginning and just couldn't wait for it to be over and then when it was I was torn up

sigh....just do what you think is best for your baby. Mother knows best. Good luck!
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  #3  
January 18th, 2010, 10:35 AM
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Aw...he's not going to be mad at you for weaning and don't beat yourself up. You're doing what's best for you guys. You know what's best and trust your instincts.

They do grow up fast and it's sad. That's why when I was pg I never said "I can't wait to have the baby or no longer be pg" when everybody was ready to have them and early. I knew how fast it would go and really try to live in the moment. I stopped wishing for milestones long time ago.

I look at Mak and it seems like only last month she was Maddie's age.
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  #4  
January 18th, 2010, 11:51 AM
mutleysweet's Avatar a May 2009 mommy :D
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I think we all feel the same way about our babies growing up. Where did time go? It's too fast. I want to just freeze everything and cuddle with him forever. Like Brock, Tristan doesn't want to be cuddled anymore. He's just too busy all the time

You will always be his mommy and he will always need you. A big congrats to you Brooke, you've done an amazing job with nursing him for 8 months! That's something no one can take away from you.
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  #5  
January 18th, 2010, 01:16 PM
MoonMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Huntsville, AL
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I think I will feel the same way when I am done nursing. Now, I think about how I would like to have a drink, or a fully-caffeinated beverage, and I look forward to the day when Will is weaned and we are separate people. But sometimes when I nurse him I realize that he won't be a baby forever, and I want to hold onto it. So I know how you feel about being sad. But I agree with Iryn - 8 months is a phenomenal achievement and Brock is a healthy strong baby. Formula won't kill him and it won't make you a bad mother either.

Good luck!!
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  #6  
January 18th, 2010, 04:16 PM
toasty's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: california
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if you are having second thoughts i think you should just follow your instincts, its okay to latch him back on and go with the flow. You milk supply can come back up as quickly as it can go down. I think people get too uptight about weaning. With Chelsea I had her down to 3 feedings a day, then when we were moving to Cali i BF her full time for two months because it was just easier.

On the other hand if you know deep down its time to part ways with BFing then just do it, and feel good about getting your freedom and your body back! When a door closes a window opens right?
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  #7  
January 18th, 2010, 04:26 PM
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I agree with Toasty! It is not all or nothing, if you still want to feed him here and there, do so until your milk totally dries up. He will still get the good antibodies from the limited nursing! I BF Violet for as long as I could (with all my problems) until we were down to two feedings a day -morning and night and I am so glad I did that. Eventually my milk dried up and I was so sad, so I totally know how you feel, but I am glad I went down fighting! That's just my two cents, but if you are really ready to wean, I can understand that too!
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  #8  
January 18th, 2010, 05:45 PM
ShannonMVT's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with the others, do what you feel is right. Either way, your little boy is still going to love his momma. It's just hard to see them grow up. I keep packing things away in the closet (swing, infant carseat, clothes) and each time it tugs on my heart becasue he's getting bigger.
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  #9  
January 18th, 2010, 06:38 PM
Brooke16's Avatar Love my boys!
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Thanks ladies. After reading this and some other things online, I plan to BF and FF together until I finally dry up. It is so hard to find info on weaning a child before a year. Everything seems to insist you keep trying to BF no matter what. But no where does it say that I can't do both. SO I guess if Brock will take the breast I'll do that sometimes too.

And it is sad watching him grow up. I've made so many changes in the past week or two. I've decided to FF, CIO, I took Brock to daycare for the first time. Right now I'm listening to him CIO and it is breaking my heart. He is having a hard night apparently. DH isn't home so I might give in and go feed him He's been cryng off and on now for about 40 mins...I think he needs me
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