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  #1  
January 28th, 2010, 05:06 PM
Mystic_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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First off... Yesterday I had some brownish/pink spotting so I was thinking my period might be coming back and put on a pad just to see what was going on. I've had very little spotting before but nothing consistent. Well it looks like a very light period cause I'm still getting it so I guess AF is back . Darn.

On a completely different note... I woke up at 3:30 am due to a nightmare last night. I dreamed that something was wrong with Saige, she was dying. I held her and then she passed away. It seemed in the dream that everyone was waiting for it to happen, like she had some sort of disease or something. I was crying and then I got very confused, I was convinced it wasn't over. It didn't make since why she was dead, and went back to her. On my way I started to hallucinate and there she was sitting on top of a bookshelf. I knew I was imagining things, but I didn't care... I wanted my baby back. I held her, and then just to make sure this felt real I went and picked up a friends baby. Smiling I was convinced she came back to me. I laid her on the floor and played with her. Saige kicked her legs, smiled and giggled. I was happy. But then she spoke to me... like a voice far off, not from her mouth. She said it was ok, and basically that I couldn't bring her back and I had to let go. I was angry, kept saying no no no, I wasn't giving up. Sobbing, I was an emotional wreck. Then I woke up.
Took me a minute to remember the dream and come back to myself, and of course the first thing I did was check to see if Saige was alright. Although I was relieved that my baby was ok, I couldn't fall back asleep. It was terrible, and I was scarred. Fearful of anything happening to her. I basically woke her up and pulled her to my chest, but she fell right back to sleep. I held her for a half hour and it took me a good hour to finally drift back to sleep.

I've been in a funk all day
Thanks for letting me vent...
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  #2  
January 28th, 2010, 05:54 PM
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Oh gosh Tiff, that's horrible, I'm so sorry! I hate dreams like that, they just make you feel off for days sometimes...HUGS! I'm glad you got to talk about it because that can help you feel better. If you need to talk more you can always PM me!
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  #3  
January 28th, 2010, 06:05 PM
Snowpeas
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What an incredibly frightening dream!!

I had a dream about dd dying when I was pregnant with Josiah. It was the same thing where we knew she was very sick and dying and we were all gathered around her and she was in my arms when she passed away. Then dh and I drove home and I was in the passenger seat with dh driving. In my dream I looked at the empty back seat and asked dh how I could possibly go on without my little girl. There was just such a huge gap in our lives. The baby in my belly was the only reason I had to live.

I woke up sobbing and went and got dd from her crib and just held onto her and cried. It was SO real and it definitely left me shaken for the rest of the day. I remember posting about it even because I couldn't shake that horrible feeling.

But it's many months later and she's happy and healthy and driving me nuts as two year olds do.

I hope you feel better tomorrow! ((hugs))
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  #4  
January 28th, 2010, 07:42 PM
mrscheriezach's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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wow that is a horrible nightmare! i would have been a mess. i hope you can forget it soon
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  #5  
January 28th, 2010, 08:16 PM
*Hayley*
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aww i'm so sorry. i get the occasional dream that rattles the hell out of me too and leaves me in a funk for days sometimes. af came back for me a few weeks ago too and i'm EBF.
HUGS!!
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  #6  
January 28th, 2010, 09:54 PM
Mystic_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momtoakand? View Post
Oh gosh Tiff, that's horrible, I'm so sorry! I hate dreams like that, they just make you feel off for days sometimes...HUGS! I'm glad you got to talk about it because that can help you feel better. If you need to talk more you can always PM me!
Thank you so much! It means a lot that I can reach out here. Right now it's almost 10pm and I don't want to go to bed... all because of that awful nightmare At least I don't feel as rattled as I was at 3:30 this morning. I tend to be an anxious person (I have an anxiety disorder and I am an agoraphobic) so one frightening thought can be a bad spiral downwards. *hugs back* I really appreciate the offer!
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  #7  
January 28th, 2010, 10:04 PM
Mystic_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Olivia+Josiah View Post
What an incredibly frightening dream!!

I had a dream about dd dying when I was pregnant with Josiah. It was the same thing where we knew she was very sick and dying and we were all gathered around her and she was in my arms when she passed away. Then dh and I drove home and I was in the passenger seat with dh driving. In my dream I looked at the empty back seat and asked dh how I could possibly go on without my little girl. There was just such a huge gap in our lives. The baby in my belly was the only reason I had to live.

I woke up sobbing and went and got dd from her crib and just held onto her and cried. It was SO real and it definitely left me shaken for the rest of the day. I remember posting about it even because I couldn't shake that horrible feeling.

But it's many months later and she's happy and healthy and driving me nuts as two year olds do.

I hope you feel better tomorrow! ((hugs))

WOW That's Terrible!! I think dreams like this are manifestations of fears we have in the waking world that we don't want to face. My biggest fear as a mother is loosing one of my girls, I try not to think about that fear because if I think if I dwell on it than that irrational fear will intensify. I'm so sorry to hear you had a similar dream, it is so terribly frightening!! *hugs* Thank you for sharing, definitely is somewhat comforting to know I'm not alone, and that everything turned out fine. Do you think it's ridiculous that my worry after realizing she was ok was a fear that something horrible might happen to her? I'm no psychic or anything but dreams are mysterious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrscheriezach View Post
wow that is a horrible nightmare! i would have been a mess. i hope you can forget it soon

Still a little shook up but doing much better, thank you *hugs* Don't really want to go to bed tonight though, as silly as that sounds...

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Hayley* View Post
aww i'm so sorry. i get the occasional dream that rattles the hell out of me too and leaves me in a funk for days sometimes. af came back for me a few weeks ago too and i'm EBF.
HUGS!!
I am also Exclusively Breastfeeding, I really thought it would take longer for AF to come back Not exactly sure what's going on though because it seems to be mostly brown discharge... kinda confusing
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  #8  
January 28th, 2010, 10:39 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have dreams like that and I hate them. They leave me with a real sense of forebodding.
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  #9  
January 28th, 2010, 11:01 PM
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[QUOTE=Mystic_Mommy;18843760]WOW That's Terrible!! I think dreams like this are manifestations of fears we have in the waking world that we don't want to face. My biggest fear as a mother is loosing one of my girls, I try not to think about that fear because if I think if I dwell on it than that irrational fear will intensify. I'm so sorry to hear you had a similar dream, it is so terribly frightening!! *hugs* Thank you for sharing, definitely is somewhat comforting to know I'm not alone, and that everything turned out fine. Do you think it's ridiculous that my worry after realizing she was ok was a fear that something horrible might happen to her? I'm no psychic or anything but dreams are mysterious.



When a very scary and realistic dream like that happens it's very easy to let your mind get the better of you and make you wonder about premonitions and what not, I do it alot too, with split second thoughts of something horrible happening to my kids (scared to death of something happening to them all the time) I think to myself if it's like some kind of sight into the future, like something weird and then I totally have to fight thinking about it anymore and block it out of my mind and focus on something else really quickly. I don't think you are ridiculous at all, I think you are a good mother who loves her daughters more than life itself.
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  #10  
January 29th, 2010, 07:29 AM
Snowpeas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystic_Mommy View Post
. Do you think it's ridiculous that my worry after realizing she was ok was a fear that something horrible might happen to her? I'm no psychic or anything but dreams are mysterious.
I don't think it's ridiculous. I felt the same way. At first I was afraid that something happened to her in her sleep and that's why I was dreaming it. When I went and got her and saw she was okay I was terrified something bad was going to happen. I even wondered if that's why I got pregnant with Josiah (he was not planned) because I was going to lose my little girl.
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  #11  
January 29th, 2010, 07:45 AM
*Crystal*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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What a horrible dream! I hate how dreams like that stick with you. I am sorry. I had a dream last night that I jumped into a really deep pool with DS in my arms... I could hear him screaming under water but I couldn't get us to the surface. I was horrible.
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  #12  
January 29th, 2010, 11:21 AM
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It seems like alot of you have some really horrible dreams, I'm really sorry, I know how that can be, I STILL remember frightening dreams I had when I was 4 years old! And other dreams that I have had as an adult that I just can't forget about even though it's been years since they occurred...I hope we all can just have peaceful sleep and no more nightmares!
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  #13  
January 31st, 2010, 12:43 AM
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oh my gosh reading this just almost made me cried, ive dreams smilier some even of my hubby.

just 2days ago i had an auful dream , that i still cant stop thinking of it almost makes me want to cry , I dreamed that someone told me i had very little time with one of my babies , they told me which one ,but when i woke up i could not remember which one. im kinda of glad i couldnt remember..

sometimes when i think about it makes me sad, anxious , as if it was real and i have to stop to remind my self its just a dream..

I love being a mother but i the same time i feel that its a curse

im always going to worry about my babies , im never going to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night to chk on them , the fear of ever losing one of them it sometimes more then i can handle and the list goes on....

i hope you never ever dream such horrible dream.
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  #14  
January 31st, 2010, 10:00 AM
mommy2Breana+Brandon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That is a horrible nightmare how scary!1

Sorry AF returned I got mine back 2 weeks ago it isn't fun.
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