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Which is the norm?


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  #1  
April 22nd, 2010, 06:43 AM
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Before joining JM I had never known a mom who had BFed, ever, let alone seen someone nurse their child. Then right after I had gotten pg with my 1st born, my cousin's new GF was telling me ab her BFing experience and I knew I had to try it.

I had gotten so much grief about not FFing. Between not having support and the initial pain of learning to BF I quit at 2 weeks w DS1.

Now with Bailey, everyone I know keeps asking me when I am going to quit BFing and switch to formula. I do supplement buy $28 every 3-4 weeks is a lot less than $28 every 3-4 days. When I tell my family/friends I plan on stopping when Bailey stops, they ask if I will feel that way when she gets teeth, turns 1, etc. Which I never saw myself nursing past either of those points, now, I don't see me weaning until after 1. And when I tell people that... oh my! The looks and comments I get

Since having all my kids I have seen a mother nursing 3x, that's it. two times in public so I guess that is something and once at my friends house her sister was nursing her baby.

It's funny, I remember w my BFF and my other cousin's wife when they had their kids, they never attempted to BF, straight to formula as soon as they were born. Now, after they have seen my relationship, and have heard how much I enjoy BFing w Bailey, they have changed their stories, both of them, who don't know ea other say they tried I remember being w them in the hospital after ea of their children and there was always bottle of formula around.
One of them tells me how her baby wouldn't latch and she tried for weeks and the other tells me she couldnt deal with the pain the 1st time she tried and she continued to try for the 1st week. No they didn't

Now dont get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with them choosing to FF, I just don't understand why they have started to lie about their choice. They are both great moms and their kids are thriving. They are doing a great job as mothers, why not be secure in their choice?

Sorry for my long ramble, I am on my way to the doc's in a few, and realized I had never seen a mom BFing in the waiting room, as I hear so many woman I have 'met' on JM have done.


So is BFing considered normal or FF the norm where you live? And how did it affect the choice you made?
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  #2  
April 22nd, 2010, 06:58 AM
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I had NO support with attempting to breastfeed my first two. Even at the hospital. The nurses kept saying they would just give them formula. With my second, I realized that even though I couldn't nurse, I could still pump and so I did until he turned 1 and he never had formula. Everyone, even the ped, thought I was crazy, but I kept doing it mainly because it was free and two kids are expensive! I talked to one of my friends right before I delivered Kadence and she told me she'd come to my house anytime if I needed help nursing and that she would give me any support I needed which worked for me! My DH and my parents, and two of friends are the only ones who have supported me about breastfeeding. Everyone else has told me how gross it is that I nurse in public (covered) and how could I plan on nursing til she weans herself and what if she's over one when that happens. It gets annoying, but makes me want to do it more. It's definitely not the norm around here. I think knowing that my first born who is so so smart and so healthy was formula fed made me realize that there is no pressure. If I couldn't nurse, I could give Kadence formula and she would be fine. That made nursing for me not nearly as stressful.
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  #3  
April 22nd, 2010, 07:13 AM
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I honestly dont know anyone IRL who has BFed...
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  #4  
April 22nd, 2010, 07:57 AM
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Not too sure what the 'norm' here is, but I think I know more women who FF than BF and those that did BF didn't do so for very long. Kaiser Hospital is very strong in promoting BFing. They do everything to help you BF ... Sometimes so much that they make you feel bad for wanting to use formula. I chose to BF ... as much as I wanted to quit because of the pain, my ex-SIL told me if I could make it past 10 days it would be easy. She was totally right, by day 7 I was good to go! While it was still painful I had my mom & DH trying to make me feel better about quitting .. I almost felt like that was non-supportive, but I just did what I felt was right for me and Tegan
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  #5  
April 22nd, 2010, 08:24 AM
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I grew up not knowing anyone who breastfed. Even when I was in my early 20's I didn't really know anyone who did it. Now some of my friends are nursing or have nursed. A friend just had her baby on Monday and she's BF. I hope it goes well for her and I've offered her any help she needs. I have a few other friends who have done it but only one who has let her kids self wean. Quite a few never try it at all.

So while it's not extremely popular here it's becoming more popular. Most of my friends and family are supportive of it and they know if they aren't supportive they can just keep their mouths shut.

I think some people lie about it because they do end up feeling guilty. It's hard to avoid the publicity BFing has been receiving lately. It really is healthier and better for babies. That doesn't mean I think anything is wrong with formula but it really isn't as good as BM and science proves that. So I think there are some moms who feel guilty about choosing (and I mean the ones who actually CHOOSE to FF not the ones who have to resort to it) formula when they know it isn't as good.
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  #6  
April 22nd, 2010, 08:28 AM
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I think a lot of people start out BFing where i live, but by 3 months the majority of them are FFing. I do know a mom who had her baby the day after Catie was born, and she is still BFing. But most people i know have switched to Formula by this point.
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  #7  
April 22nd, 2010, 08:47 AM
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Everyone I know has started out BF-ing. But most have switched to formula by 6 months. Where I live the pressure is really on to exclusively BF. The guilt about formula is strong and I know many mom's who have been wracked with guilt about switching. A close friend's son had lost over a lb at a month and was not doing well and she was just sobbing because she felt so bad and thought everyone was going to judge her as a bad mother for supplementing him with formula. It makes me feel sad. I'm really pro-breastfeeding, think it is fantastic for mom and baby and love all the support groups here we have to help out with bf-ing. But, I wish moms didnt have to deal with the stigma if they switch because every mom and baby have a different situation to deal with.
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  #8  
April 22nd, 2010, 12:04 PM
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I know people who do both.. I don't get upset that I formula fed anymore.. My daughter was formula fed, she smart, she vary petite.. Most breast fed babies I've seen a huge! I always got upset when people on this site would tell me that formula fed babies tend to big over weight kids.. Such a stereotype..

I don't think there's a difference and in the end does it really matter? As long as they grow up to learn to make the right choices, that's all that matters..
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  #9  
April 22nd, 2010, 12:11 PM
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In Oregon BF is really important. They really promote healthy babies out here. That being said, I was surprised at how the medical community still tried to get me to FF. Ez was losing weight and they kept telling me nothing was wrong with formula and not to be so hard on myself. I appreciated the support, but was devastated that no one was willing to help me get my milk in. My body was in a major amount of stress from pre-eclampsia. I asked to leave the hospital early, because I was not getting any help with BF. One nurse finally took me seriously and called a lactation consultant. It was really stressful and emotional, because I really really wanted to BF. Thankfully, the hospital has a post-partum appointment that you have to go to after you are released. The women in there got me on track within two weeks. It was insane, but I knew with time I could do it.
Every woman's journey is different and after my experience I will never judge again. I think it takes an experience like that to make you understand that everyone is different.

I just wanted to add...As far as teeth go, well I am not looking forward to them coming in. But I realized my nipples have callouses on them now. If I hadn't been nursing for 7 months then yes, teeth would hurt. Hopefully, I am right and my nipples will be prepared.
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  #10  
April 22nd, 2010, 12:23 PM
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I guess growing up, I didn't know anyone who BF - but I really wasn't paying attention. I'm the last of all my friends to get pregnant, and they all BF until at least 6 months, so thats been a big help. I was able to call them with questions and get the support I needed.

DH's family, on the other hand, FF and had no understanding of it and it made them uncomfortable when I would do it (covered of course).

My work was very supportive in letting me pump 3 times a day in my office. Out of 3 moms who came back to work around the same time as me, I was the only one who continued BF - they all stopped after 6 weeks.

So my experience is mixed... I will say, the lactation consultants in the hospital were very intimidating and I can see how they would made a FF-mommy feel absolutely horrible, which is a shame.
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  #11  
April 22nd, 2010, 12:27 PM
mommy2Breana+Brandon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am not sure on the norm where I live. But I have seen plenty of woman BF'ing in public.
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  #12  
April 22nd, 2010, 12:29 PM
Adriana's Mommy's Avatar I <3 my kids
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Honu View Post
In Oregon BF is really important. They really promote healthy babies out here. .
Not to start anything.. Just wondering.. But does Oregon think formula fed babies are unhealthy? Do they also consider babies/toddlers over the norm in weight (anything above 50 percentile) unhealthy?
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  #13  
April 22nd, 2010, 12:42 PM
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Yeah, I thought I might have worded that wrong. Healthy isn't the right word, but organic might be.

I shouldn't speak for the whole of Oregon, but generally the community that I have seen or been a part of is rather crunchy. Organic foods, organic living, be Green kind of thing. Breastfeeding really falls into that line of thinking out here. As well as the amount of women who are having there babies delivered by midwives versus gynocologists. Giving birth at home, etc. I live in Portland, so this area is generally more so than the rest of Oregon.
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  #14  
April 22nd, 2010, 12:46 PM
Adriana's Mommy's Avatar I <3 my kids
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I think I may have read it wrong as well.. Makes sense now. I live in the N. Idaho (just a few miles E. of Spokane) so I understand the whole green thing..
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  #15  
April 22nd, 2010, 03:28 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The norm here is... what you feed your kids is your business and no one elses. I think its probably half/half bf and ff. I don't know. Parents are supported whatever their choice is. IMO that's they way it should be.
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  #16  
April 22nd, 2010, 07:13 PM
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Don't know what the norm is, but I've had a lot of coworkers who have also had babies in the last few years. All of them have tried bfing, and I think only 2 switched. I wasn't pressured either way in the hospital or at the drs. I was asked what I wanted to do and then supported in that decision. I wanted to try bfing, but didn't really expect to do it long. The lacation nurse at the hospital was very helpful as were the other nurses. My ped. is really into bfing to so she's never suggested anything else and encouraged me to stick with it. I went for a year with Ava, plan to do that with Elijah too.
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  #17  
April 22nd, 2010, 08:46 PM
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I live on the Oregon coast about 2 hours from portland and BF is normal here and in the hospital I told them I was BF and they never even offered a bottle. I know plently of women who have FF though also. So I think both is normal and not frowned apon here
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  #18  
April 23rd, 2010, 10:52 AM
** Tay **'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Our hosp was SUPER pro-bf. While I was in the hosp, I told them I did not want her to have a paci or to take a bottle with anything in it... They told me they do not offer to breastfed babies unless mom requests.
We had two visits with the lactation consult. while we were there and that was just STANDARD REGULAR visits... and she was there in case we needed her more.

I live in Idaho and Im pretty sure the capita for bf is higher than most states ( ive read that somewhere... I cant remember where.... its up there along with Oregon and Utah)

Breastfeeding is the norm for me... and for my area I believe.

I grew up knowing that is how babies are fed and formula feeding right off the bat was never an option for me. If for some reason ( I believe there are cases where women cannot, and i respect that) i was not able to, I would FF after trying everything I possibly could try.

I am very pro-bf, and believe that it is best for baby, but that is not to say ff is bad for the baby by any means
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  #19  
April 24th, 2010, 12:46 AM
Adriana's Mommy's Avatar I <3 my kids
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ** Tay ** View Post
I live in Idaho and Im pretty sure the capita for bf is higher than most states ( ive read that somewhere... I cant remember where.... its up there along with Oregon and Utah)
I live in Idaho as well.. It's sad that Idaho doesn't have laws protecting women who breast feed in public.. Which I support as long as they cover up..

http://www.mothering.com/sites/resources/laws.pdf
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