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Forum: 2009 Playroom

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  #1  
April 28th, 2010, 05:10 AM
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This morning, I got up at 5 as usual for a Wednesday. Bailey was still sleeping, in my bed, as we co sleep for the 2nd half of the night. Tom was up as well. I heard her stirring so I went in to get her and as I was walking in she was falling off the bed. She screamed, I cried. Of course I have felt guilty all morning now.

I also have mom guilt for not spending as much time with Thomas and Collin working on educational things or arts and crafts since Bailey came along.

Has anything happened that has made you feel mom guilt?
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  #2  
April 28th, 2010, 05:41 AM
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Well yesterday I felt guilty but it was actually DH's fault. I was cooking dinner when he came home from work. Jillian was strapped in her bouncy seat. He took her out because she started to fuss. He got her calmed down and DS wanted to go out to play so DH put her back in the bouncy seat. My back was turned at the time because I was busy cooking. A few minutes later I hear her hit the floor and start to cry. He hadn't strapped her in and she wiggled herself out. She only cried for about 30 seconds but I felt so bad for not checking to see if he had strapped her in.
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  #3  
April 28th, 2010, 05:46 AM
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I feel guilty constantly. For not spending enough time with Kadence, for not spending enough time with the boys. For wanting free time for myself. I mainly feel guilty for being grumpy in the morning before work because I usually get mad at the boys for stupid stuff.
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  #4  
April 28th, 2010, 06:25 AM
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I try (!) to avoid feeling guilty ( Jasmin co-sleeps on a matress on the floor with me, so she cannot fall - but "roll' those 12 cm down to the rather soft carpet: I try to avoid that she rolls to the carpet using a video monitor and watching her when I am in the kitchen while Jasmin sleeps. Once she`s awake I have to hurry as she quickly starts rolling then ). I guess it must be difficult having one or several children with a newborn, but on the other hand I assume it`s better for the children to have brother and sister instead of spending all the time with mom on educational things or so ( which is also good, well maybe not all the time, of course ). Don't know, they socialize more with siblings?!

Last edited by elsi2009; April 28th, 2010 at 06:32 AM.
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  #5  
April 28th, 2010, 08:30 AM
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I always feel quilty when Brandon is upset and I can't seem to console or figure out why and I get frustrated and then mad at myself.
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  #6  
April 28th, 2010, 02:55 PM
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I feel bad when I have to disturb Lucy's sleep in order to take Jassie somewhere.
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  #7  
April 28th, 2010, 07:29 PM
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i felt guilty when i was holding neta and she whacked her little noggin on the chandellier hanging above the kitchen table. she was rubbing her head all day. but then she has been rubbing her head for two weeks now so i think it was a coincidence. she didnt cry but that day i really thought her head was hurting.
i feel bad when i hear her cry in the AM and I dont pop up right away to get her up sometimes i lay there a few moments to see if she will fall back asleep. 50% of the time she does but i feel like i should be getting up....but i also feel she needs more sleep along with me....got to love mom guilt!
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  #8  
April 28th, 2010, 07:59 PM
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I feel guilty because tonight I just did not want to be mommy! I feel bad even saying those words, but so much was going on in the house, my head hurt, Ava was yelling (or so it seemed), Elijah was fussy, and I just handed him to DH and went downstairs and said "I don't want to be mommy!" I spent about 10 minutes alone and went back upstairs so I guess it wasn't that bad, I just feel bad when I have those thoughts.
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  #9  
April 29th, 2010, 02:31 AM
elsi2009's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaDucks View Post
This morning, I got up at 5 as usual for a Wednesday. Bailey was still sleeping, in my bed, as we co sleep for the 2nd half of the night. Tom was up as well. I heard her stirring so I went in to get her and as I was walking in she was falling off the bed. She screamed, I cried. Of course I have felt guilty all morning now.

I also have mom guilt for not spending as much time with Thomas and Collin working on educational things or arts and crafts since Bailey came along.

Has anything happened that has made you feel mom guilt?
Hm I feel guilty ( to not having registered earlier here and ) and to not having warned here on the board that falling from parent`s bed is also a fairly common for babies who roll and are left for just few seconds on the bed ( see google )
so it`s some kind of "user guilt" I am having right now. ( I feel bad having googled a lot beforehand and then ( now ) later tell people how to possibly do it better after something already did happen, hmpf )

Why not trying to motivate your husband to play chess with your eldest son? Just an idea how to delegate educational things? They say chess is fun and educational, too.

I feel mom guilt that Jasmin napped in the car seat at home sometimes as I found later that they claim babies should not sleep in car seats except in the car, swings or bouncy seat for longer than 30 minutes or so as there is some evidence that oxygen levels start to lower in newborns in car seats. I am also upset, this was`t measured several years ago, when this kind of seats were introduced.
Infant car seats can trim babies' oxygen levels - CNN.com
This was another reason to introduce the above mentioned matress on the floor for sleeping and napping, so I just needed to unlatch her when I nursed her while she did fall asleep. Once brought to her crib, she usually would woke up and would have trouble falling asleep again.

Last edited by elsi2009; April 29th, 2010 at 02:52 AM.
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  #10  
April 29th, 2010, 04:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elsi2009 View Post
Hm I feel guilty ( to not having registered earlier here and ) and to not having warned here on the board that falling from parent`s bed is also a fairly common for babies who roll and are left for just few seconds on the bed ( see google )
so it`s some kind of "user guilt" I am having right now. ( I feel bad having googled a lot beforehand and then ( now ) later tell people how to possibly do it better after something already did happen, hmpf )

Why not trying to motivate your husband to play chess with your eldest son? Just an idea how to delegate educational things? They say chess is fun and educational, too.

I feel mom guilt that Jasmin napped in the car seat at home sometimes as I found later that they claim babies should not sleep in car seats except in the car, swings or bouncy seat for longer than 30 minutes or so as there is some evidence that oxygen levels start to lower in newborns in car seats. I am also upset, this was`t measured several years ago, when this kind of seats were introduced.
Infant car seats can trim babies' oxygen levels - CNN.com
This was another reason to introduce the above mentioned matress on the floor for sleeping and napping, so I just needed to unlatch her when I nursed her while she did fall asleep. Once brought to her crib, she usually would woke up and would have trouble falling asleep again.

it is common for babies to roll of the bed, it just breaks your heart when it happens to your baby, sadly it wasn't the 1st time she had fallen off something (the couch once before) I dont know how other moms of 3+ do it. I struggle.

The chess idea is a really great one! Thomas LOVES board games, I definitely have to get more for that 1 on1 time. I am not really worried too, too much ab him as he goes to school I am extremely guilty ridden that Collin still isn't talking and I don't really push him.



as for sleeping in car seats and the like, I have read that info many times, I am a research hound myself, especially when it comes to pregnancy and parenting. And though I have read that, I know some parents who would not have made it through the baby stage w/o letting their LO sleep in the car seat or swing all night, as they wouldn't sleep in the crib/bassinet/pack n play or parents bed.
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  #11  
May 3rd, 2010, 04:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaDucks View Post
The chess idea is a really great one! Thomas LOVES board games, I definitely have to get more for that 1 on1 time. I am not really worried too, too much ab him as he goes to school I am extremely guilty ridden that Collin still isn't talking and I don't really push him.



as for sleeping in car seats and the like, I have read that info many times, I am a research hound myself, especially when it comes to pregnancy and parenting. And though I have read that, I know some parents who would not have made it through the baby stage w/o letting their LO sleep in the car seat or swing all night, as they wouldn't sleep in the crib/bassinet/pack n play or parents bed.
There is something on a method to learn and train chess, they use it in some countries of Europe
YouTube - Letsplaychess.com presents Stappenmethode

Here are some chess problems of different levels of difficulty Shredder Computer Chess Download - Weekly Chess Problems ( there's a huge database on opening theory )
Add 3 Here is another nice page with a daily chess puzzle ( usually taken from real games ) and a database for openings and real games:
Chess Games

I wonder whether learning chess is like learning a language as I also read that they say chess helps with reading and writing. ( actually my dad was chess player when he was young and he started reading newspaper at the age of 3 on his own ) Why Chess is good for kids? | ChessXpress Users Blog
One advantage of playing chess might be that talented children are probably not chronically bored.
So how young can they start playing chess When to teach child chess, how young can a child learn chess ( I guess, they say at 3+ years on the chess boards which are sold, as there is a danger of swallowing chess figures when younger )

I think it is diffcult to push speech development in toddlers. One cannot force their development, maybe support the development or at least avoid watching TV for them. But I have no experience with that, although I sometimes worry a little about Jasmin and her speech development, but she still has time.
edit/add 2: I recently read on a German wegpage that intervention in children`s development might not always be beneficial, so they wrote that in Germany there are too many children on intervention programs ( they mentioned something like 20 % of children are on intervention programs )
sry I can`t find the webpage right now.

The sleeping in car seat or swing, I also found the information that it is probably not so good for baby`s spine. I am trying to limit that time that Jasmin spends in her swing, car seat, and also exersaucer ( they send weekly emails from the hospital, they wrote about 2times 30 minutes in it edit/add: daily are okay or not more ( as long as baby is healthy ) )

add (1): I also wonder whether the back-sleeping campaign is another reason for young babies for not sleeping except in swing, car seat etc. On some days, I had to put Jasmin to her crib again and again, and then after 10 times of waking up again, she finally slept for 30 minutes. On other days, I had to bring Jasmin to her crib and she immediatelty slept for her 30 minutes. ( Hence I introduced the mentioned matress for her. )

Last edited by elsi2009; May 3rd, 2010 at 06:58 AM. Reason: nursing, collecting links etc.
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  #12  
May 3rd, 2010, 12:36 PM
pearlica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Tegan gobbled down half a scrambled egg this morning before I read that egg whites are highly allergenic to babies under 12 months. I felt so guilty and watched her like a hawk. No signs of any reaction so far
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  #13  
May 3rd, 2010, 12:36 PM
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I always feel guilty when i nursing my dd and my ds wants something to drink and iam unable to get it for him bc 90% time baby falls asleep and getting up and trying to get water from him while she is still attach will wake her up. and he always says "put her in the crib mama"
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  #14  
May 3rd, 2010, 07:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yoyomama View Post
I always feel guilty when i nursing my dd and my ds wants something to drink and iam unable to get it for him bc 90% time baby falls asleep and getting up and trying to get water from him while she is still attach will wake her up. and he always says "put her in the crib mama"

I have this problem too, its like my boys wait for me to feed the baby to want a drink, now they get their cups and bring them to me, go and grab the juice and bring it to me, then put the juice back
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  #15  
May 4th, 2010, 04:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sara_ann View Post
I feel guilty because tonight I just did not want to be mommy! I feel bad even saying those words, but so much was going on in the house, my head hurt, Ava was yelling (or so it seemed), Elijah was fussy, and I just handed him to DH and went downstairs and said "I don't want to be mommy!" I spent about 10 minutes alone and went back upstairs so I guess it wasn't that bad, I just feel bad when I have those thoughts.

I had one of those moments last week. Echo wouldn't sleep for anything and after a looooong night of crying, fussing, screaming, rocking, singing, shhhhhing, nursing and zero sleeping I handing her to my mother and said "I've changed my mind. I don't want her anymore." After 10 min alone I felt horrible for saying it. I was just so tired and overwhelmed.
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