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Society's Expectations


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  #1  
February 5th, 2011, 03:26 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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In your social circle, are mothers expected to work or are they encouraged to stay home with the child?
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  #2  
February 5th, 2011, 03:49 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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Neither one specifically. I think that we are pretty open-minded in that regard. We DO tend to have more SAHM's, just because we plan things during the day and those are the ones I talk to the most. But either way is fine, as long as mama and babies are happy and healthy.
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  #3  
February 5th, 2011, 03:49 PM
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I would say both equally here as far as were I live but dh is military so i would say military wives are expected to stay home
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  #4  
February 5th, 2011, 04:06 PM
monica8's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hmmm, that depends. Most of my social circle I've found through mom's things, so they stay at home. My social circle before is nowhere near having kids, but I picture them working when they do. In general, most moms nearby work.
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  #5  
February 5th, 2011, 04:54 PM
3TeamH's Avatar Hayley
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Among my secular friends, definitely work, but among my christian friends being a stay at home mom (if you can afford to) is desirable.
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  #6  
February 5th, 2011, 08:49 PM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm the only one in the family that is a SAHM. Most can't afford to stay home though.

Actually, just about everyone I know (except online) works. Even Kayla's friends Moms, work even if it's just babysitting in their home.

I am so thankful I get to be a SAHM. I had to work when Kayla was 3 until she was 8 (I was pregnant with Emily when I quit)
I know ALL moms work and there is the big debate about who works harder, etc... I've done both and both have their benefits and downfalls but for me personally, working was harder than being a SAHM, if nothing else because I had more to do with places to be, schedules, daycare, making sure Kayla was to and from school, etc, etc..
But there are times when I'm home.. and DH is working a lot and I just need a break!!
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  #7  
February 5th, 2011, 11:01 PM
** Tay **'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Most all of my friends worked until baby #1 came along...
Now, 90% of my all my friends and most of the ones that I hang out with are SAHM.

In our circle the Norm is to sah, at least until school age.

Edited to add - looking through my "Main Big Circle" - theres less than 5 that work... Thats out of about 20 girls
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Last edited by ** Tay **; February 7th, 2011 at 09:04 AM.
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  #8  
February 6th, 2011, 07:47 AM
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Most moms IRL I know work. It is very rare, and even looked down upon by some if you SAH.
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  #9  
February 6th, 2011, 07:54 AM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It is equal here. Some of my friends work and some are SAHMs. I'd be a SAHM in a heartbeat if I could.
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  #10  
February 6th, 2011, 04:47 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Most of my friends have kids under the age of 5 and thus are SAHM. I think I'm the only working mum I know. Once the youngest hits school age though mum MUST work or volunteer at least 15 hours a week for the family to qualify for their tax benefits. So I guess you could say society expects us to work once our youngest is in school, before that though its a mix and depends on a few things, the main one being your income.
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  #11  
February 6th, 2011, 05:45 PM
catherineclare's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Mellie- my hubby was explaining to me some of the programs you guys have over there like that. For instance and forgive me if I'm not explaining this right, but my inlaws have to spend a certain amount of their money every year or else they dont get the full pension. So, they usually take a big trip. This year it's coming to the States to see us.

In my social circle I guess I'm usually the odd one. Among people at church I'm not, but around hubby's coworkers etc I usually am. I personally think being a working mom is harder. You just have so much to balance. As a sahm my biggest challenge is just remaining sane and dealing with not getting tons of adult interaction. I wouldn't trade it tho. I am very grateful for the fact my hubby's job allows me to stay home with the kids.

Last edited by catherineclare; February 6th, 2011 at 05:58 PM.
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  #12  
February 6th, 2011, 06:16 PM
pearlica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I dont know any SAHM's in "real" life, but it's definitely not frowned upon.
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  #13  
February 6th, 2011, 07:43 PM
~Paula~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Catherine, yes.. that's exactly how I'd describe it too. I agree 100%
I'm so glad I get to stay home with my girls....mostly. LOL

Mellie, that's odd that they HAVE to work.

I know in Canada Moms get a year of paid maternity leave, do they do that there too?
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  #14  
February 6th, 2011, 08:14 PM
MellieB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Extended mat leave just started here on Jan 1. Its now 16 weeks at full pay, then some at part pay I think. It depends on who you work for as to how long it is in total. The government only pay out so much. It's in addition to the baby bonus, which is a payment of just over $5000 (I think, that's what it was when Lucy was born) that is paid out over 6 months also from the government. I know we used our baby bonus to push me going back to work back a few extra months.
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  #15  
February 6th, 2011, 08:16 PM
Adriana's Mommy's Avatar I <3 my kids
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Most of my friends are working moms.. Cost of living is high here. Not to mention, it's hard to find a job up here..
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  #16  
February 7th, 2011, 04:43 AM
mommy2Breana+Brandon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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most of my friends work but I will soon be a SAHM.

I think it is equal. you aren't frowned upon if you work or if you don't
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  #17  
February 7th, 2011, 07:48 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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It's about equal amongst my circle of friends. Some work and some are SAHM and none of us seem to really judge the other. We are all doing what works best for our families. I have a few friends who could easily afford to stay home but they prefer working.
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  #18  
February 7th, 2011, 08:13 AM
mommy2Breana+Brandon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I do sometimes think that SAHM's get frowned upon like they don't work. they have a full time job as well it just might not bring in money but they still work
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