We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
and register
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
Well it has been an interesting 4 days. Baya has lost only 3 oz and she is just a little yellow. We are having some nursing issues. She has a recessed chin and a very small mouth so my nipples are torn up and she has been clicking / sucking air.so lots of burping and spit up. But today and last night went a little better and I am less sore today.
I tore during the delivery and that is a total pain! I am super uncomfortable and swollen. Today has been the best day. I actually left the house today, which is hard saying I can't go down stairs and we live on the top story. My house is built into a hill so I took the trail down. I am stir crazy! I want to get on the floor and play with Ethan, and just get back into life but man I tire easily and my bottom hurts.
I also had a little break down last night. Ethan got frustrated and a little aggressive yesterday because he wanted my attention and wanted me to put Baya down and get on the floor. I couldn't so he tried to grab her and do it. But anyway I had my first real guilty feelings for having a second. I just feel so bad that for the last few months I haven't been able to really interact with him the same way and still can't. It's really hard to not feel guilty.
But having said all that it is actually going really well. I don't feel depressed I am so in love with Baya and I feel 10x better then I did after the csection.
__________________
Ethan is celebrating Baya's arrival on 8-24-11
Last edited by lynnicka; August 29th, 2011 at 03:51 PM.
So glad to hear how you are doing emotionally! I had a much easier/better time after Owen's birth than Leila's so I hear you on that. However, I am sorry you are in so much pain still. Make sure you are icing your tear area and taking Ibuprofen too. It really helps! Also, do you have a bottle that you can squeeze water on the area? I have found that to be the way to help that pain! Just some warmish water in a sterile type squirt water bottle, fill it and squirt it on the tear area after each bathroom trip. It should feel better in a bit.
I'm glad to hear the birth recovery is easier this time around! And don't feel guilty about sibling rivalry... even though our siblings drive us nuts sometimes I'm sure we can all say we're glad we have them. Ethan and Baya will be best friends.
How's your sleep? How is everyone else in your family adjusting to the new LO?
I am trying to keep up on the ibuprofen and I do have a pari bottle I use. I also make pads into ice packs and took a sitz bath. It all helps for sure, I bought more salts to take another bath it really helped with swelling.
Nights have been rough. She was nursing every hour and needs to be changed and rewrapped at least once a night. And of course she has to be in constant contact with me. But last night was a little better she nursed less and actually slept next to me for some of the night! I have hope that she will be my sleeper.
Ben didn't have the same reaction he did with Ethan it took him a day before he started glowing. Which is still better then me the first time around. He is tired too but is helpful. Ethan for the most part is doing really well. He needs to know where she is and what she is doing, he gives kisses and hugs and holds her. He only gets frustrated when he wants us to play or get something for him and we can't. The in laws are in love. But they still are not all that helpful. Baya actually docent seem to like my mil. She is only content with her for a few moments unless she is sound asleep. They do play with Ethan a lot and she does the dishes, but she said she would do all the meals but she only made dinner never even asked or helped with other meals. And even with dinner I told her she could still do my meal I had planned she knows the recipe. But I kept forgetting to defrost the chicken and she didn't do it either and then I had to plan another meal. She has been to the store everyday since Baya was born but didn't seem to plan anly meals or buy for more then one at a time. My house is so dirty but she hasn't cleaned anything. Ugh I think i am just tired of them being here and wish they steped up more instead of causing more issues and headache. Oh well I asked for it.
I am sorry that your MIL is not helping at all! I would bite her head off, especially since she is there specifically to help!
I am glad you are doing well! Do you have hemorrhoids by chance from the pushing? Those were the worst and the doctor gave me some spray numbing stuff that was amazing since my butt hurt. Also lots of tucks pads!!!!
Baya is beautiful!!!! And remember that it will take Ethan a little time to adjust to not being the only one but it does get better - I promise!
__________________
Wife to Garrett
Mother to Eden (7/13/09) and Cooper (7/28/2010)
Follower of Jesus
((hugs)) I think hormones and lack of sleep make things so much harder. I've been a basket case lately and keep reminding myself that it will pass soon. If only I could get a few hours sleep and teach people how to read my mind!! hang in there....
I am glad you are hanging in there. The first 3 weeks or so were the hardest for me with recovering and adjusting to the sleep deprivation and having 2 babies (but I also had another section). Your MIL sounds JUST like mine... not terribly helpful but well intentioned... sooo annoying. She was best with keeping Nora busy for us. After the first month when baby starts sleeping better it gets SOOO much better, I thin the hourly nursing was the hardest at night then having both kids all day. Around 8 weeks adam finally started giving me 4 hour stretches at night and I transitioned him into his cosleeper (he slept on me for the first 7 weeks) and I slept better and could function better. Nursing got A LOT better at around 5 weeks too.
Hang in there. It will get easier! Can you believe how much you love the second one? That came as a surprise to me!
Oh I know I just was and am over the moon! Ben was really scard about how that would work but it does.
Thank you everyone for the support. It's funny when I read my post back I feel like all I do is complain. But I really don't feel that way. I am actually very happy most of the time and i know in a few weeks it will be so much easier. We are still learning each other and healing. When I get peaceful moments with her it is so amazing. She makes the cutest faces already and is such a wiggler! She has rolled over a few times and when laying on our chest she wiggled up under our chin. Foe a three week early little girl she has pretty good head control too!
What a gorgeous family you have. Baya is beautiful. I hope things calm into a nice routine for you, and you can relax and enjoy being a mommy of two. I think Amy said it really well, you can't feel so guilty, Ethan will never have a better gift than a sibling.
Honestly, things started getting much better here once she was about 3 months old, but then we started having the health problems with her. Lack of sleep is tough. Our kids love each other, and once she gets a little older, they will have a great time together. *Hugs*
__________________
///...........................Lauren, wife to Jay, mom to Wesley and Ruby
I am so impressed that you, not only had a vbac, but a home birth as well.
Hang in there, things will get better, the sleep deprivation makes everything seem worse. And the guilt, I think is natural, but eventually Ethan will understand he has to share you and he will come to love Baya. You will also figure out a way to balance giving both kids your time and attention.
Beautiful family! Love seeing the pictures. Praying for your speedy recovery.
__________________
Married 8/11/90 ~ Terry Bechor m/c'd 11/26/03, Thomas A. III m/c'd 7/15/04,
Sarah E. born 6/24/05, Tabitha Zipporah m/c'd 4/?/06, Theodore David m/c'd 8/27/06,
Taylor Lynn m/c'd 2/07/07, Benjamin E. born 3/25/08, Catherine A. born 6/03/09
