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Yeah, so perhaps the 3's aren't so great?


Forum: 2009 Playroom

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  #1  
January 27th, 2012, 06:30 AM
Alexa5
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Nicholas goes through tantrum phases where he has a few rough days, so I am hoping that is what this is (most likely that is the case). However he has been a monster off and on this week. This morning he even purposely flung his dad's cereal bowl off of the table, so instead of eating cereal we spent our time cleaning it up. He had to go to daycare with no cereal beforehand/no playtime, and of course he had a time out. That isn't really like him to be destructive, so not a great start to the day!
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  #2  
January 27th, 2012, 06:54 AM
mom2baylee&levi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Levi has been having some "moments" lately too.....when he isnt getting his way he has been screaming at me most of the time its like "Levi go get your shoes on" "I DON'T WANT TO" (at the top of his lungs)....it's frustrating to no end.....

the good news is it will pass......and you will probably move on to bigger and "better" battles lol.....like I said....both of my kids have been worse around 3 than anywhere close to 2 lol

Hang in there.....it will pass
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  #3  
January 27th, 2012, 07:43 AM
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Yeah, Charlie has been super moody and defiant lately, as well....hence my frustration and general "MIA-ness." I just don't know how to handle the constant, pointless disagreements (often involving nonsense words), the whining and tear-filled outbursts, the stubbornness. Let's hope this passes soon! Are second children any easier? Someone tell me yes!
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  #4  
January 27th, 2012, 09:50 AM
mom2baylee&levi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quantum_Leap View Post
Yeah, Charlie has been super moody and defiant lately, as well....hence my frustration and general "MIA-ness." I just don't know how to handle the constant, pointless disagreements (often involving nonsense words), the whining and tear-filled outbursts, the stubbornness. Let's hope this passes soon! Are second children any easier? Someone tell me yes!
i dont know i children are easier......but you definatly find yourself a little more (thats how it was for me anyway) with my first I was so concerned whether I was doing things the right way and didnt want to be mean....and afraid to hurt her feelings and it took me awhile to find my feet.

My biggest suggestion....Choose your battles.....I dont fight with them over the things that arent important....."oh you wanna wear your shoes on the wrong feet.....sure whatever" stuff that isnt causing any harm and doesnt totally disrupt our routine then I just tend to let it go....I could fight with them all day long if I wanted to fight over everything I didnt agree with or like.... but I've learned to let alot of things go. My husband has NOT learned this....and he can go round and round and round with them and gets so frustrated....I'm like really is that worth fighting over???

consistantly stand your ground on the important things.....at home....in the car.....at the grocery store....at grammy and grandpas.....whereever you are.....enforce consequences immediately.....they wont remember what it's for later....and try not to let it go if it's something you want stopped because the more you let it slide....the more they'll push it.....

For us (and this is one I struggle with) when I use the same consequences (whatever it is that I KNOW is just gunna get their goat....For Baylee it's a time out....for Levi it's being seperated from the rest of us in a different room) EVERY TIME for the same offense.....I struggle with doing that even tho it works better when I do cus sometimes I get soo flustered I'm like OMG just park it by that wall or Go pick up 17 toys in your room and think about why you're in trouble....random stuff lol....

Dont get down on yourself tho.....(BEEN THERE....I have cried a few times because I just cant figure out WHAT I'm doing wrong when I'm super frustrated......) but after the fact I always look back and realize it's not that we're doing anything wrong....out kids are pretty well behaved....but they have their moments....just like any kid.....it's just hard to realize when you're soooo frustrated that it's just a part of them growing up and finding their own.....
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  #5  
January 27th, 2012, 11:05 AM
Alexa5
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Glad we are not alone, but not happy you are all going through some of it too!

For me, I don't feel bothered about the actual event or how I have handled it so much--meaning I am feeling comfortable about the choosing my battles/what needs discipline/what just needs to be ignored and let it pass, etc. But it is just d*** tiring to deal with on a daily basis!! :-)

One night my whole time with him which is short anyway due to work, etc, was wasted on waiting out 2 long tantrums. Then there has been some sort of defiance/tantrums most days this week, except we did have one or two good days.

This morning was just one of those examples of where we handled it well by a combo of letting it pass, disciplining what needed to be, ready and willing to take him to daycare in his pajamas if he continued to argue, etc, but that is just not how anyone wants to start their day, ya know?????????
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  #6  
January 27th, 2012, 11:10 AM
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3 has been a difficult change for us but for a little bit different reason. Rhys who is usually my easy kid has become this horrible temper throwing, limping going shy kid, we have never had to deal with this with him before, its always been Owen and of course the same discipline measures don't work for me. On the other hand, Owen has definitely become a lot easier to deal with generally. Though I do have to say 3 yr old little boys are absolutely NOTHING like 3 yr old little girls!!
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  #7  
January 27th, 2012, 05:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2baylee&levi View Post
consistantly stand your ground on the important things.....at home....in the car.....at the grocery store....at grammy and grandpas.....whereever you are.....enforce consequences immediately.....they wont remember what it's for later....and try not to let it go if it's something you want stopped because the more you let it slide....the more they'll push it.....
That's what we try to do, but it's hard because we have more than one kid. And Beau (at the moment) is this amazing, non-sleeping grump of a creature. So every moment that we can manage to wrestle him down for sleep is a treasure. And Charlie knows that if he just cries and screams and throws a tantrum, then he'll wake Beau up, and there will be more crying and general disaster. So we probably concede a lot more to Charlie than we really should, just to avoid disrupting the peace (especially at bedtime). Charlie's 'punishments' for us are worse than our punishments for him!
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  #8  
January 28th, 2012, 07:16 AM
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Yeah, I don't know. With as many little kids as I have I am sort of the opposite. I pretty much let everything slide, with the exception of violence.

Joey seems to be gaining a modicum of self-control... sometimes... for a moment or two.
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  #9  
January 28th, 2012, 12:36 PM
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the twins are my third and fourth nearly three year olds, and they are no easier than the first two at this stage. Hang on and ride it out.
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  #10  
February 5th, 2012, 04:47 PM
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Well so far so bad. The three days since she's been three have been not good at all. Foot stamping, yelling, spitting, hitting little terror.
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  #11  
February 6th, 2012, 04:36 AM
Alexa5
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Bummer Jess! Knock on wood, Nicholas has been better, but he still has his moments of being very stubborn and willful.
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  #12  
February 7th, 2012, 08:17 PM
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oh yes, the foot stop is popular with the twins right now, foot stomp and arm cross
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  #13  
February 8th, 2012, 06:46 AM
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Wow, so maybe I don't have it as bad as I thought. We've been having lots of struggles with Charlie with crying and whining, but no foot-stomping or spitting or anything like that. He's much more passive-aggressive in his defiance. (Like, if I tell him to clean up his toys, he'll sit there and sort of half-pretend to do it, but move really slowly and really still be playing with his toys as he is 'cleaning').

Our biggest problem right now is that our ayi, who watches Charlie during the day, pretty much lets Charlie do whatever he wants. Like, if he asks for cookies for breakfast she'll give them to him. So he has two very different standards of behavior, depending on who is watching him. He has been getting better lately about listening to US and being respectful towards us. But with her, he really isn't. (He's too smart for his own good, and he knows who he can 'play' and who he can't).
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  #14  
April 3rd, 2012, 01:51 AM
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Melody's temper tantrums have been just as bad since she turned 3 as they were before. The most frustrating thing for me is that I still can't have a conversation with her because she still doesn't speak in complete sentences. She learns new words every day; she just doesn't put them together into sentences. Every time I ask her a question; she doesn't answer me. She rarely asks me questions; the only one she knows is "What's that?" When she wants something, she just says "help" or "help me." Since she can't communicate effectively with words; she cries (loudly) every single time she doesn't get what she wants, and when she's really upset, she throws herself down on the floor and kicks her legs and flails her arms. Whenever I tell her to stop, or sit down, or be quiet, or whatever, she just repeats whatever I said to her back to me (and doesn't obey). She often throws her toys at me, and sometimes she hits me or kicks me. I just hope she learns how to talk soon.
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