[Blessingsfromabove]

I am really upset even though this may seem trivial to some, I have just had enough!

My oldest son Daniel, is extremely bright and has been an Honor Roll student all his life.
(He is a Senior this year) He is a very popular kid and he is an ALL star in both baseball and football. His school votes for a lot of silly things at the end of the year.... here was his list from last year.........

Most likely to Succeed (for the males)
Most pretty eyes (for the males)
Most Outgoing (for the males)
Most Popular (for the males)
Ladies Man
Most Athletic
and a couple others that were so silly I can't remember them, but I have the awards.




I give this information to explain why I am upset! My son is VERY mature and wise beyond his years! I have always said he has an "old soul" I am SUPER proud of him! However, when it comes to certain things..... he can make me CRAZY and soooooo FRUSTRATED!! (that's all kids right! ) Well, his teachers have spent years trying to get him to join things at school that they think he deserves or would do well in. Such as.... Honor Society, Advanced English, Advanced Math, Book Club (he loves to read) and things like this..........but he ALWAYS refuses! It makes me sooooo sad! He did finally go into Advanced English and has excepted Senior President (HUGE SHOCK) but he doesn't like to be apart of anything like this usually!
Anyway, last year he was voted Homecoming Prince and low and behold.... HE TURNS IT DOWN!

This year.... He was voted HOMECOMING KING.... and he just told me he plans to TURN IT DOWN!
His dental teacher just called me and told me of his plans (she is in charge of the whole thing) and she wanted me to talk him out of turning it down because she said he is really missing out on a great experience! I AGREE!! I went to talk to him and he says..... "I don't care about that stuff and I figure I'd let someone who does go ahead and have it!"

I understand what he is saying.... but my heart breaks EVERY single time he does something like this! I feel like he is not only missing out on great experiences of his childhood (which he hasn't much left of!) but he is also denying me the joy's of his accomplishments, and his youth! I for some reason, feel ROBBED of being able to experience this with him! It has literally brought me to tears this evening! I don't get any pictures, awards or scrapbook worthy memento's of any of these things because he turns them down left and right!

Don't get me wrong.... I don't measure my kids by awards or titles.... I think that their character, spirit, compassion, and giving nature are much more worth measuring..... but I feel that these are accomplishments are part of what makes him such an amazing kid. I mean..... I of course think all my kids are wonderful people and well worth taking heed to....but its really nice to know that others feel the same, and its not just because they are mine!

So when he backs out or turn down things that he has earned or that others feel he is worthy of.... it just breaks my heart that he doesn't allow himself these experiences! Once he is out of school and in college.... these silly things won't matter and I know this, but right now and over the past several years..... they are what makes his childhood school years even more special and yet he wants no part of it.

Ok.... sorry this was so long! It may just be my hormones, but it has really upset me once again!

I guess in all honesty..... I know my little boy is leaving the nest soon..... and I feel like I can't get my fingers on enough memories to get me through it!

[Vicki...]

It sounds like your son is very successful and very popular but possibly a bit modest, I am sure you must be so very proud of him as you should be. I figure allot of your hurt is because he is a senior and will soon be out of the nest so to speak, I can't say I understand as my lil one is only 3 right now, but I can say ((((Hugs))))

[Blessingsfromabove]

Vicky~ your very much right! After I had a good cry, I realized that I am trying to hold onto his childhood because I know he is leaving the nest soon, and it breaks my heart! I guess this is the really hard part of child rearing! I called my BFF of over 27yrs... bent her ear a bit....and she made me realize that the fact that these silly things that don't to matter Daniel, are just a testament to the kind of wonderful person he really is! I feel much better now! Thanks for listening though....and thanks for your thoughts!!

[Gobaby1]

"So when he backs out or turn down things that he has earned or that others feel he is worthy of.... it just breaks my heart that he doesn't allow himself these experiences! Once he is out of school and in college.... these silly things won't matter and I know this, but right now and over the past several years..... they are what makes his childhood school years even more special and yet he wants no part of it. "



->I think you just sort of answered it... a lot of these are silly things, and good for him at such a young age for reconizing that. Sounds like a pretty well-rounded kid to want someone who really cares about these things to receive them. IMO, these aren't the things that make anyone's childhood even more special unless it was always someone's dream to be Homecoming King. And who wants that to be what makes their childhood special? Having good friends, leading as a good example, being pleasantly modest, respectful and respected, gifted both academically and athletically are the types of things that make childhood special.

I just think that it sounds like you have a pretty special kid... even without the things he deems silly. And you'll survive too!

[Blessingsfromabove]

Your right....they don't and shouldn't make his childhood what it is....I guess I just want him to experience his childhood to its fullest....and be able to reflect on it later in a positive way and not have the "shoulda coulda woulda's" running through his head! However, maybe he is living his childhood exactly the way he wants to, and I am just upset that it's almost over!

I have a home video of all my childrens moments in time....and when you watch it..... the song "I hope you Dance" plays because that's my song to them!
I truly hope that each of my children will take that song for whats its worth and experience all that life has to offer..... even if at times, it may seem silly!

I guess that's all I am saying. Having said that.... I realize that he is a special young man and I am truly lucky to be his mom!! I'm just sad that he won't need me as much....because I adore him, as do all my children!

I'm just not good at this "leaving the nest" kinda thing!!

It's been a tearful day! ;( I know my hormones are somewhat to blame....but I also have NOT been looking forward to one leaving the nest! When he came home with his Senior pictures..... It all hit me like a ton of bricks, and then came the phone call from his teacher. I guess I was already in an emotional state by that point!

[kristamomto4]

He sounds amazing! Absolutely amazing!

I can imagine how hard it is to consider him leaving home soon. But he'll always need you...really even more in those first years out of the house!

[Christine-MA]

I can't add anything but just wanted to say it sounds like you've raised a wonderful young man!

[Blessingsfromabove]

Thank you Christine!! I really am proud of all my boys. They each have sooo much to offer this world and I really am proud of each and every one of them!

I think I am really full of emotions due to MANY things! This precious baby that's on the way.... the fact that I have one son leaving the nest soon and another following right after! And I am still grieving the loss of my mother....especially during times like this!
Also, I always tell my boys that "Life is to short to cheat yourself out of the experience!" Which is why I really wish my oldest would experience more of the accomplishments he makes....but I guess it's just not him! All I can do is support his decisions!

Sooooo.... I thank you ALL for baring with me during my emotional outbursts!

[MRM]

Hugs! Does he have a particular friend he is hoping will get it if he turns it down? He sounds like a great kid- and maybe it's important for him to be part of a sucessful group rather than taking all of the honors on his own. Maybe he'd rather look back on how he threw homecoming so his buddy could be king rather than just being king. It's the funny group things like that I smile more about than any particular honor.

[Blessingsfromabove]

MRM~ Well... he never signed up for this, his friends signed him up. Its one of his friends, yes.. that has the girlfriend who is Homecoming Queen and so his friend really would like to be H.C. King with his girlfriend. My son, thinks he should get it since he actually signed up for it and it means more to him then it does to my son.
I see his point, and I would have to agree.... it's just that I have watched him turn down soooo many opportunities and sometimes he even regrets doing it.
My other son whom is right behind him.... is the opposite and will join everything just to relish in the experience. However, different kids, different choices and its okay! I just miss him already and he's not even gone yet! LOL